Girls are meant to be flawless, but never seen attempting to be perfect.

From a young age, girls internalize the unspoken rule: you must meet society's standards, but you must do so naturally. You have to be thin, never diet. Though you have to be beautiful, never be conceited.

You need to be naturally cool but never try too hard. Men have to find you appealing, but you should never show their interest directly.

The inconsistencies are never ending, and the penalty for doing wrong is severe.

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The "Cool Girl" vs. The "Pick Me"

Many girls struggle to live out the legend of the "cool girl. " Low-maintenance and invariably down for whatever, she is the girl who enjoys beer, video games, and sports and never gets jealous. Though she is one of the guys, she is still undeniably attractive. The flaw? This is all she is; she is not permitted to try to be this way.

A girl who unabashedly likes male approval, laughs too loudly at men's jokes or changes her behavior to fit in, is labeled a "pick me. " She is regarded as destitute, miserable, betraying other ladies for male approval. But why is one girl complimented for mixing in while the other is condemned? The cool girl doesn't seem to be acting; rather, she is simply what men want. The "pick me" is caught trying; and trying is the ultimate sin.

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Pretty, Though Not Too Pretty

A girl who wakes up flawless is loved. Spending an hour on one's cosmetics makes a girl shallow. A woman who is "naturally" attractive—whatever that means—is magnetic. Trashy is a girl wearing a short skirt or flirts brazenly.

The line between what is acceptable and unacceptable is thin, arbitrary, and always changing. It all boils down to one rule: You must be desirable, but you can't be viewed seeking desire.

The Effortless Expectation

This pressure is about the illusion of ease, not only in terms of appearance or personality. Women are expected to be perfect without labor because effort implies uncertainty, and insecurity is unattractive. Men may try to work out, to dress nicely, to openly chase women. Women must already be perfect, as though by enchantment.

This double standard pushes girls into a paradox: You must conform, yet you must never admit you're conforming.

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Shattering the Illusion

The answer is for society to stop pretending that "natural" beauty and personality aren't also performances, not for women to give up trying. Every "effortlessly cool" girl has invested effort constructing herself. Every "naturally pretty" woman has daily routines. No woman exists just for male approval without ever thinking about it.

The truth is, society expects women to act in some way; therefore, all women are acting. The only escape is to turn against the notion that women should be flawless without effort. Call out the hypocrisy when a girl is made fun of for caring too much while a boy is applauded for the same effort.

Women should not have to be perfect. They should be allowed to be free, unapologetic, allowed to experiment without being penalized for it.