Raise your hand if you struggle with the pressure to always do better, continuously striving, and nothing ever feels good enough. One word: perfectionism. And I'm over it. Perfectionism has become somewhat of a buzzword in pop psychology, but if you are like me, you might be wondering why exactly perfectionism has become such a problem, especially in teens.

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I decided to study this topic and came across a meta-analysis called Perfectionism Is Increasing Over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016. This study recognizes three main reasons for the rise in this problematic personality trait: neoliberalism, meritocracy, and altered parental practices.

Through this study, I realized that socioeconomics is so powerful that an entire generation of teenagers developed perfectionism as a result of changed societal expectations. Just the thought of capitalism molding my personality made me want to consciously change my ways and reverse my perfectionistic tendencies. You cannot rebel against what you do not understand, so if you are like me and want to change, keep reading to understand culture’s manipulations.

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What Does Perfectionism Look Like?

You might be wondering how to know if you have perfectionistic tendencies. First, let me define the three ways perfectionism shows up in people’s personalities. The first is self-oriented perfectionism. When self-directed, people are overly self-critical and hold themselves to an expectation of being perfect.

The next is socially prescribed perfectionism, which is characterized by believing their social circles are highly demanding and feeling the need to appear perfect in order to be accepted. Lastly, there is other-oriented perfectionism, which involves imposing perfectionistic expectations on others and holding them to unrealistic standards.

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And How Exactly Is This a Cultural Issue?

According to the study, dominant cultural values are reflected in family, academics, religion, economics, and politics. In return, these institutions shape identities, attitudes, values, and beliefs. The three main cultural factors I will be discussing are neoliberalism, meritocracy, and altered parental practices.

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Ah, Yes, Neoliberalism

When I saw that word, I was like, “Who?” So, per Google, neoliberalism is defined as “a political approach that favors free-market capitalism, deregulation, and reduction in government spending.” Think free market, less government power, self-interested motivation, and more corporate giants that compete without constraints. Instead of “all for one,” the predominant messaging became individualism. Interestingly enough, narcissism, extraversion, self-confidence, and decreased empathy are reported at higher levels compared to the previous generation.

In addition, instead of group activities for personal enjoyment, young people now choose activities that add value or lead to achievement. No more extracurriculars for fun vibes; now it is for the college résumé. Not only academically, but in terms of social status, people experience issues with comparison, materialism, and caring about others’ opinions.

The need to keep up with trends, others’ expectations, and fitting in is suffocating. People are insecure not only about what they have but also about who they are.

Now, with social media and perfectly curated content, young people are constantly exposed to “perfection.” Instead of creating more connections between people, social media has created a form of alienation. As teens grow up, they adopt a disordered self with irrational ideas that they can perfect themselves. In a new culture of individualism, perfection becomes a coping mechanism that provides comfort and a sense of self. This competitive society overlooks that self-worth is not defined by what you do.

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Our Old Friend, Meritocracy

This one hits home for me personally. Neoliberal values connected the idea that those who do not reach peak educational and professional achievements have less innate value. The sad part is that from kindergarten through university, the purpose of academics is no longer to expand one’s breadth of knowledge but to create economic value. In recent generations, the pressure to obtain a degree has exponentially increased.

Following true economic principles, as demand increases, supply decreases. Academic institutions respond by preparing children to secure the highest market value, demanding more in the form of higher grades, standardized tests, and acceptances to elite universities. Funnily enough, as the number of people with degrees has increased, the collegiate degree wage really has not.

Society’s expectations are unattainable for a large portion of our generation. These unrealistic standards to keep outperforming teach kids that their value lies in performance. I know I struggle with the idea of “Who am I if I am not achieving?”

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Thanks, Mom and Dad

As generations progress and teens who grew up with these standards become parents, the pressure to perfect themselves does not stop. Instead, their children become one more aspect of life that needs perfecting. Scientifically, this is called child-contingent self-esteem. I do not think I even have to express how obviously traumatizing this behavior is to children.

Over the years, parents’ time spent with children on hobbies and fun activities has decreased, replaced by time spent on academics. No wonder college admissions have become more competitive. This pressure has created a generation of anxiously attached parents who are overly involved in what they want their kids to be.

Kids notice this behavior and become hypersensitive and scared to make mistakes. If parents have high standards and criticism, kids will strive for perfection in the hope of gaining their parents’ approval.

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A Metaphor for the Road

Essentially, perfectionism is the butterfly of a four-step metamorphosis. Neoliberalism is the egg stage, laying the foundation for meritocracy to hungry-caterpillar its way through societal institutions. Then we have a chrysalis of altered parental practices coddling the next generation. Finally, the butterfly of perfectionism emerges to carry the ideals and continue the cycle.

Capitalism is the ultimate fearmonger, promising happiness and success if you dedicate your life to being a perfect butterfly. The whole thing makes me mad, so if you take anything away from this, let it be this: do what is best for you and practice intrinsic self-worth.

Thanks for reading!