They say heartbreak changes you. But they never tell you that the deepest heartbreak is when the one who knew your soul better than anyone else simply stops being there. We always talk about romantic heartbreak, but no one really talks about how it feels to lose a best friend. And trust me... it cuts deeper than anyone would think it does.

A best friend. They aren't someone who you just hang out with. They become a part of your daily life.

They know your childhood stories, your deepest secrets, your biggest fears and you as a person. They are the person you text when something amazing happens but also the same person that you text when you feel like your life is crumbling down.

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My Initial Reactions to Loss

When I lost my best friend, I felt like my entire world just started crumbling down. I reached my phone to contact the only person that would be there for me, but soon I realized that "that person" is no longer here for me. It felt like half of myself just drifted away.

I started questioning myself. Was it my fault? Did I not try hard enough to keep this friendship alive?

That kind of self-doubt is the thing that could swallow you whole. But slowly… really slowly… I realized that grief is just love with nowhere to go. I started writing letters I never sent. I cried without apologizing for it. I leaned on the people who stayed. I took long walks and listened to music that made me feel like I was breathing again.

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What I Began to Realize

Most importantly, I learned that it’s okay to miss someone and still move forward. Missing them doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you loved them deeply.

And loving deeply is never a mistake. I still think about her. But I’ve also learned to make space for new memories, new friendships, and most importantly, for myself.

If you’re going through this right now, I want you to know that you will be okay. It won’t always feel this heavy. You won’t always feel like you’re missing a piece of yourself.

And one day, you’ll look back and realize how strong you really were. Sometimes, life throws the most unfair and the most harsh things ever.

Even though it has been around 4 years, I still think about her. I think about our jokes, the small moments, and the comfort of having someone who understood me so completely. I’ve also realized that life gets messy.

Friendships get complicated, secrets get shared, and sometimes the people you trust the most become the ones who hurt you the deepest. It doesn’t erase the good times, but it reminds me that love and pain can live in the same memory. Maybe they drift away. Maybe they tell your secrets to someone else. Maybe they stop choosing you. And as painful as that is, it doesn’t mean the memories weren’t real or that your love for them wasn’t genuine.

It just means that sometimes, even the people who feel like home can’t stay forever. You can still miss them and wish them well. You can still look back and smile at what you had… while also knowing you deserve friendships that are safe, honest, and strong enough to hold all your pieces.

The day after it happened, I cried in silence. Not the loud, dramatic sobs you see in movies... just quiet tears that soaked my pillow while the rest of the world kept moving. My ego was too big to reach out and ask for forgiveness, too proud to ask for a second chance.

So instead, I pretended I was fine. I laughed in the hallways, posted selfies like nothing happened, and acted like I didn’t just lose one of the most important people in my life.

And maybe, in writing this article, a part of me still wants to justify my side of the story.. to explain why I didn’t chase after her, why I stayed silent. But the truth is, this isn’t about proving who was right or wrong anymore. It’s about realizing that growing up sometimes means accepting that some people just aren’t meant to stay forever. Some people are chapters, not the whole story.

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My End Thoughts

Even though sometimes we find ourselves thinking, "Why didn’t we end up with that person?" or "She was my best friend… she knew me better than anyone… she said we were soulmates… she was my other half," that is life.

Some people are just passing clouds in your sky and when they drift away, they might bring sunshine, or they might block it out and leave you in the rain. But whether they bring light or not, time will heal you.

Time is the only thing we can truly hold onto and the only thing that will help us heal, no matter how cliché it sounds.

Everyone deserves someone who understands them. And I hope we all get an amazing best friend who understands us.

And if you’ve watched Twenty-Five Twenty-One, then you might remember what Na Hee Do said: "Nothing lasts forever… everything is momentary… they all flow away… and that’s not even a bad thing."