The Rise of 'Delulu' Culture in a Harsh World

I can't have a boyfriend because I'm a South Asian Desi girl who can't close her room door, and I spend a lot of time watching Rom-Coms. So, I end up admiring how the characters would hold their beloved girl, cuddle her tight, get her whatever she desired, and do all the most famous heart-stopping things.

With the rise of social media, girls are always posting about how they snuggle with their boyfriends, go on dates, match their aesthetics, and do everything perfectly. They have the nicest guy, and they are incredibly handsome and charming.

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We all wanted a boyfriend like that. We'd go crazy for that kind of love and attention. But have you ever noticed that the more you see all of this, the more you become delusional?

Because you are unable to have a boyfriend, you imagine having one. Alternatively, when your guy performs the absolute bare minimum, you make it appear like a lot. This post is for all the girlies who are suffering as a result of the Delulu culture and need to leave reality to feel better.

Caution: This article is a reality check for your healing and happiness.

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1. The Reality of those "Girls"

I was heading to a French class when a girl my age told me she had 11 boyfriends. Not even kidding. Another girl I know has a boyfriend right after she quits a relationship.

Which had lasted the longest, 5 months. It's been going on for about three to four years.

I watch girls go out and have "fun" with a guy, then forget what happened because they want more from other guys. Girls flirt with guys merely for pleasure. I bet you can connect to what I've just said.

Now, in reality, those girls are quite lonely. True, just imagine how many times someone dumps you. They do all of this to get attention.

They want to be cool. But tell me, is putting your dignity at risk considered cool? Okay, you want to have "fun," but does "fun" include breaking someone's heart and making them cry?

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Unfortunately, girls stopped valuing their bodies. They leave themselves free for any boy to use. It feels enjoyable at first, but it quickly becomes a toxic loop in which they are trapped. They gradually get depressed.

They have no happiness in life, which is really disturbing. These girls have no place to stand. Consider how much agony you are experiencing. Have you ever noticed that single girls are happier?

Because they do exactly the opposite. Sure, you go out single in a world where everyone has a partner, and it may hurt to hear people say, "Oh, you're single, how sad?" But, believe me, your mental health is guaranteed. Your joy is unhindered.

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2. The Reality of Relationships

Now you see the girls who have the most gorgeous partners, who are muscular and wealthy. And whenever you glance at them, it's like a vein is coming out of every corner. Let me tell you the truth. Imagine boys who fit that description proposed to you.

But why did you neglect their proposals? Your initial thought, and I know it is, is she insane? Why would I do something like that?

Which is correct, I am insane, a bit insane. But, on second thought, he has money, he is gorgeous, and he has a friend group; why shouldn't you date him?

Now, reread the paragraph and see if you can find the word love. Did you not see it? Did you see the term "gentleman"?

Didn't you see the word respectful? That is the issue; if you are going to date someone, he must respect and support you. I am an independent, opinionated, assertive, and aggressive girl.

Now ask yourself this: I do a lot on my own. Is he worth it if he doesn't respect who I am or my personality? Is he worth thinking about if he isn't a gentle man who takes care of me, supports what I do, and loves me for who I am? I don't want a boy who loves me because of my body.

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If I cry because I feel so weak and vulnerable, will he come by my side and console me, assuring me that whatever happens, he is there? Or mock me for being weak? If I have a problem, is he willing to talk to me about it?

Or leave me on my own. Is he a fantastic buddy I want in addition to the man I love? Can I tell him everything in my heart, and is he willing to take it all on? What do you think now?

The problem is that boys who look nice often treat you poorly, regardless of how perfect the relationship appears. They are pushy and unpleasant, and they will control you. They spend their family's money. Who looks better: a man who worked hard and is self-made, or a boy who, without thinking, spends his family's earnings and doesn't have any sense of responsibility whatsoever?

Girls, be real. How can you allow yourself to be in a violent relationship merely to show the world? How can you allow a boy to ruin your self-esteem?

I know a couple fitting the exact description. Beautiful girl. However, the guy cheated on her more than you could imagine.

Like every time I would enter my school bathroom, this girl was crying. This girl still believes her love may change him. We couldn't change her mind, regardless of the number of talks we had and our encouragement to leave him. However, because he is wealthy, he spends his money lavishly, and all the girls get attracted, he then uses them. She is his prize to present to the world only because she is stunning. See how he objectified and humiliated her. However, girls are so emotional that they cannot see this.

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3. Normalising being single

If you want to have a relationship today, I know there are boys there who are ready and desperate to be with you. But imagine this: But I've chosen to be single. I party recklessly, and I don't care.

I can do whatever I want in life without being criticised. I eat as much as I want and behave as wildly as I want.

I shave, care for my skin, nourish my body, and dress well for me. I am not in need of a man. I am taking control of my life.

I am not looking for a boyfriend only to impress the world. Why should I be concerned about them unless I meet the perfect guy?

I don't need a man to make me happy. Who cares as long as I'm happy? Imagine how happy you would be.

You see, I've heard girls talk of this policy, which did sound old-fashioned, but given a justification, it did sound quite right. Date to marry. Date one man and marry him.

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Why? The explanation goes as follows: Because, in today's world, the way GEN Z relationships are, the way we romanticise relationships to make them appear cool, and the way most of the boys around me are, I want to respect my dignity, morals, and my body. And I don't want a boy to ruin all of that for me. You don't want to have several relationships; you only want one that you can treasure for the rest of your life.

You shouldn't care if you are in a relationship or not. You have everyone you care about around me, but including a boy who validates that, is not what you want. I don't sound like GEN Z, but girl, are you willing to have your peace taken away?

I am aware that some girls are going through difficult times in their lives. If you don't have someone to give you love, don't expect a man to do it either. He might try to exploit you.

Be yourself and love yourself. Self-love is essential for survival in this world. No one will love you the way you love yourself, hardcore reality.

If you feel horrible because no guy is proposing to you, the reality is that he can't handle you. A poisonous, egocentric boy will never want a girl who is thriving and has strong opinions. Why would a boy want a female who can't be dominated?

And having a fake partner in my thoughts will make me more depressed because I don't have one in real life. If you are unhappy with yourself, why do you expect a man to do it for you?

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Conclusion

Having a relationship is not wrong. Having relationships that mean nothing to you, is. A relationship in which your independence and personality are not appreciated.

Why bother with one? Sometimes waiting is wiser.

If you hear those girls suggest that you need to meet and date many men before you find the right one, remember that we are humans, not garments that people try on and then discard. Start valuing lives. The right man will come to you, and believe me, your heart will tell you.

Don't fall for the Delulu culture; not having one in reality but in your dream realm is actually worse for your mental health. There are over 7 billion people in the world; trust me, the right one is out there for you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have relationships, but you shouldn't have them just to impress others or make your social media account appear good.

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And if you're single, girl, live life to its fullest. I considered the idea that being single means being empowered, and empowerment breeds confidence and independence, which a good and honest guy values in a woman. No excellent and good guy wants a long-term healthy relationship with a girl who doesn't care and value herself, the people around her and the ones she associates with.

Then he will use her. Trust me, if you want him to be serious, he has to see the thriving woman in you.

I love quotes, so let's end with one because I am the writer and I can decide to do so.

"Too many women throw themselves into romance because they're afraid of being single, then start making compromises and losing their own identity. I wouldn't do that"

- Greta Garbo