4 Facts Girls and Women Should Remember While Single
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4 Facts Girls and Women Should Remember While Single

Personal Growth

January 13, 2019

There's that annoying habit of always being the friend who's never in a relationship. Yep, the one who watches action romance movies while everyone else goes out and the only date you can get is with the pile of homework your professor dumped on you. No girl likes admitting it, what with all the movies and books where the girl gets her man and a happily ever after, one wonders where they went wrong. 

The answer is that nothing went wrong. 

Being single is not a death sentence, and here are four beautiful reasons why. 

1. Having Few (Or no) Juicy Stories Can Be A Good Thing 

There's locker room talk for girls too, and it can be pretty isolating when you're unable to join in. The juicy stories, raunchy details, and the bonds formed over the secrecy of it all is what most girls secretly covet whether in middle school, high school, and even college. And I am sure that most of us can talk about the times we've rushed relationships just so we can gain membership into those circles.  At the end of the day though, those people you try to impress never really liked you.

Also, those stories really were not worth the trouble. Maybe the person you liked always texted after you begged them for it, or just plain messed with your feelings. Better yet, maybe your bae did you dirty and you decided you weren't going to take it anymore. I'm pretty sure the narrative where the girl steps into her queendom and obliterates anything that doesn't serve her anymore is so much more interesting than any hookup tale. Plus, a lot of the people who tell them either regret it or will later on the inside. 

2. Everyone Has Their Preference, And You're Someone's Preference Alright 

No one likes hearing it, but is true-people have their preferences. Short, tall, blonde, brunette, thick and curvy, or slim while trim. The problem does come in when for a while you seem to be no one's preference.

It then starts making you think that you're not good enough for anyone, to have any type of good partner. When your thoughts get there, do an entire revolution in the opposite direction, because none of that is true in the slightest. You are amazing, you are gorgeous, and honestly, there will come a time when every suitable prospect will be coming your way.

That is why you'll be overwhelmed and have to make cuts as if you were conducting auditions. It may sound like an out-there fairytale, but your greatest asset is faith in yourself. Taking that time during the period of being single to develop self-confidence, high self-esteem, and that faith will make you so beautiful through and through. Then, when you least expect it, the right one, or ones (wink), will come chasing your light. 

3. Being Single Is A Time For Growth And Healing

Going through relationships like slices of pizza will not make past hurt go away. So instead of thinking about snagging that cutie over there, take a step back and focus on you for a minute. Think about the things you're still struggling with, including what you've put on the back burner because of focusing your energies on other people.

Write about your day, including what you like and don't like about your life. Scream into a pillow about how the lack of attention you've been getting hurts you. Also, if you just need some ice cream and a movie on a Friday night then do you.

It's more than okay to want to be with someone that adds to your life, but if there are feelings and trauma keeping you off your game, then any partner would only take from what little you have right now. You have to get back on track and know where you are heading before converging with someone else's journey. Otherwise, you'll both be lost. 

4. Get With Your Single Friends (Often)

Being friends with people who are in relationships is alright, but being the only single cringle can become tired. Sharing your woes on singlehood is also tricky with those who have steady baes. So here come your single friends.

These are the friends who get you because you are all at the same place in your lives and can, therefore, help you through it all. These are the friends with whom you can go out with and not worry about them leaving for their partner's needs. Most of all, they are a constant reminder that being alone does not mean being lonely. Instead, it means being a boss babe who is functioning beautifully as an independent person. It does not happen overnight, and that's why your friends are involved in the process. 

As you finish reading this article, remember that your time with your special person is coming at the right time and that you deserve to be happy regardless. While it's annoying to read that, you'll be grateful that you did later. 

Riv/Jourdan Lobban (they/she/he)
5,000+ pageviews

Writer since Jan, 2019 · 4 published articles

You want to fly? You got to give up the sh** that's weighing you down. -Toni Morrison