When I Noticed Something Strange in a Friend

There was a time when I witnessed a side of a friend that was hard to understand. When another friend worked hard but ended up with a poor result or made a mistake, my friend, while pretending to be concerned, seemed to feel a subtle sense of joy. At first, I felt bewildered, wondering, 'How could someone be like that?' and a bit bitter. But at the same time, the question, 'Have I ever felt this way myself?' started to arise within me.

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The Meaning of Schadenfreude

This curiosity led me to a single word: "Schadenfreude." This German word refers to the feeling of pleasure derived from another person's misfortune or failure. When I first encountered this word, it felt somewhat uncomfortable and dark. Yet, simultaneously, I also thought it might be an honest emotion that lies dormant within us.

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Why We Feel It

So, why do we feel such emotions? Various psychological studies suggest several reasons for Schadenfreude.

Firstly, it's due to social comparison. Humans instinctively compare themselves to others. When I'm going through difficulties, seeing someone in a similar situation fail can temporarily bring a sense of relief or superiority, thinking, 'There's someone whose situation is worse than mine.' This can sometimes have the effect of temporarily boosting one's self-esteem.

Secondly, it occurs when we feel justice has been served. If someone who has been unfair or arrogant experiences something negative, we might feel a sense of exhilaration or catharsis. This joy stems from the feeling that 'justice has been realized' because that person received what they deserved.

Thirdly, it can be related to a sense of belonging and competitive spirit. If a rival in our group (school, team, etc.) fails, we might feel a heightened sense of superiority for our group, thereby strengthening our sense of belonging. This emotion can be particularly pronounced in competitive environments.

Looking Inward Instead of Judging

Of course, Schadenfreude can sometimes be perceived as selfish or immoral. However, it is one of the complex emotions humans possess, and it's difficult to label it as inherently bad. What's important, I believe, is the attitude of looking back at oneself when experiencing such emotions, asking, 'Why did I feel this way?'

My curiosity, sparked by observing my friend, ultimately became an opportunity to explore the complex and subtle emotions inherent in human nature. If you, too, have felt an inexplicable emotion when seeing others fail, how about taking some time to look into your true feelings hidden behind that emotion? The effort to understand your own emotions will be a great help in forming a healthy self.

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