According to Wikipedia, love is defined as "a feeling of strong attraction, affection, emotional attachment or concern for a person, animal, or thing."

Notice the word "strong" before attraction? Precisely. This can be taken gravely out of context.

There's nothing wrong with being passionate, or rather, even involved in someone's life. It can be innocent and pure, stemming from a place of genuine concern and compassion.

However, what happens when it goes too far? What happens when our Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice-type love turns into a Joe Goldberg from You-type love?

It's You NOT Them

Oftentimes, when we become extremely infatuated with a person, we like to blame it on them.

"They're practically begging for me to talk to them!"

Is what we may think to ourselves. It's unfortunate, however, how much miscommunication can steer us in the wrong direction, taking us to places that cater to our own interests and fantasies.

Once we start thinking about our personal motivations and ruling out whether they are selfish or pure, we can truly learn to love.

Relationships are the main place where a person truly gets to know themselves. You start to look in the mirror and try your best to refine every flaw you may have. So the next time you find yourself staring a little too long at someone, ask yourself: "Do I want this for me, or for us?"

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When Do You Know It's Love?

Love is mutual. It is a common understanding of two people about who they are and what they want in life. Both parties accept the flaws of the other and acknowledge their efforts to grow and develop as people.

Love brings out the best in a person, it's an excellent motivator and proves to give worthwhile results. Compliments, words of affirmation, physical affection don't seem all that bad for a reward and are worth trying for. Obsession, however, tells a drastically different story.

• It's one-sided
• Often unhealthy
• Serves a short-term gratification

Obsession is selfishly rooted in the personal desires on one person. They want you all to themselves, even if it means hurting you. Unlike love, obsession does not stem from a mutual understanding. It's possessive and self-centered. The effects of obsession wear off pretty quickly and before you know it, you're just another one of their monthly hyper fixations.

Idolization and Portrayal in Media

As mentioned earlier, one of the most romanticized stalkers in media is Joe Goldberg from You.

I find that girls my age are drawn to him mainly because of his inner monologue and physical features. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but not all stalkers come with a tragic backstory and a loud inner monologue. And even if they did, it shouldn't make a difference!

Obsessive stalkers nowadays are disguised as highly dedicated and immersed individuals, which clearly is the result of a high standard of relationships.

The bar has simply been set too high. And people look for someone who is invested in a way that simply isn't humanly possible.

Much of this expectation comes from short-form content of couples being completely head over heels for each other, showing the fruitful and wholesome side of their relationship, which makes us completely blind to the messier parts of it.

The "I Can Fix Them"

You can't.

Pretending that people are toys or machines meant to be "fixed" is just completely absurd. The brutal truth is that falling into a relationship thinking that you're the sole person who has the capacity to heal someone is entirely narcissistic.

And when attempts to heal someone don't work, well, then you just move on to the next. This is the mind palace of a stalker. Someone who obsesses over a person only to desert them when they don't follow their exact plan.

You'll Know-Trust Me

When you have found love, you will feel a particular sense of relief. A feeling of a weight being lifted off your shoulder.

Real love makes you feel seen-but not in a creepy way. It's all about giving someone the space to heal, grow and develop as a person, rather than them helicopter-parenting you 24/7.

It's important to be involved. But not too involved.