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Your First Love Doesn't Have to Be 'The One', but Might Be

Relationships

This is dedicated to those who fancy the idea of being in love but are still too afraid to let themselves fall in love.

Love.

A gift to humankind, so that we can live with each other's flaws, and also treasure them even. Yet nobody could define love, because it is a sacred feeling that asks to be understood not with rationality, but by the heart only. I dare say, therefore, only the ones who have been in love know what love is.

I have seen many people's intense affection towards someone else, but they never step into a relationship, since they picture themselves being broken, or just simply losing interest and eventually hurting themselves. But love is supposed to be a mystery every time, and you have to be courageous enough to discover it. Sometimes comes happy-ever-afters.

So don't be afraid to love and to fall. Why? Don't stop scrolling!

You were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known.

If you never try, you never know.

This does not mean getting into a relationship with anyone possible or rushing, but if you have strong feelings for somebody, hesitate no longer and take a shot. A lot of adults say this to their children: 'You are too young to have your first love, you are not ready, focus on your studies instead.' But they miss one thing, it is that love can come at the age of 16, the age of 24, or when we are retired at 62. Love may arrive any moment now.

The truth is nobody can control when they find 'the one', all we can do is be willing to take a shot. Today, you only need a little more courage. At least you don't have to wonder and regret something that never happened. So yes, if you never try, you never know how your 'fantasy' relationship would turn out. If you never try, you will never know love.

I have seen my parents both falling in love for the first time in their lives and are still the most admirable couple I have ever known. I have seen my cousin marrying his high school girlfriend. Others' stories cannot guarantee yours, but they guarantee there is a possibility in everything. Thus, I encourage you to confront your feelings, not any flush of emotions, but real, sincere feelings. I encourage you to strive for your own heart if you know you do care. And only then do I encourage you to love, foolishly and fearlessly.

Is it a good thing to be experienced at love? Of course!

Nobody ever desires to be hurt. Deeply in our minds, we all secretly wish that our first love will be the one, but life doesn't always work that way, and we often get hurt multiple times before we meet them, let alone end up with them. But still, it is the only way you can be experienced at love, and believe it or not, it is not as terrible as you think.

If you have been in love before, you will find it easier when you meet your soulmate and not make the same mistakes you might have made, because no matter how you love them, it is common to misunderstand each other and let go out of no sensibility.

A man may learn to surprise his girlfriend with little gifts and bouquets of flowers at no particular events. He may make himself remember the dates better, even smaller ones, like the first time they held hands. We all grow better with the experience.

It Is Okay If It Doesn't Work Out

Last but not least, don't be afraid to love and to fall, because it is perfectly okay if it doesn't work out the first time, or many times after that. You may feel heartbroken and betrayed, or a void in yourself, wishing you had never pushed yourself into this situation, but guess what? You still have the memories. Beautiful ones that obviously count more than nothing at all.

When it comes to love, the most important thing is not the result, but the process. Marriage or divorce are just titles, and 2 or 10 years are only numbers. What matters more is how you were feeling and developing during that relationship, so if it does not work out this time, it is okay.

Later you will be surprised to find out how your unsuccessful relationships have actually done you good and helped you mature. Finding 'the one' is not necessarily the purpose of falling in love. Sometimes falling in love helps you heal the wounds in yourself, or simply to savor what it feels like to miss someone from dusk until dawn. What it feels like to be able to easily point them out in a crowd, to think they are beautiful no matter what, to spend the whole night talking, to laugh at little silly things. To feel important and needed.

Conclusion

Dear readers,

This article's goal is not to force you into a relationship to show people you are not lonely. It is to give you, hopefully, a little courage and determination to pursue love, so that when someone special finally shows up, you will fearlessly go towards them and treasure their flaws.

And I hope you will find your 'the one' eventually.

Linh Vuong
5,000+ pageviews

Linh is a Vietnamese high school student, currently living and studying in the U.S. She has been passionate about writing for a long time and hopes her writings could, in a way, light up your today and tomorrow.