You get a text.

It's short, but flirty. Maybe a "miss you" or a random inside joke.

Your stomach flips. Your brain lights up. You weren't expecting it — especially after days of silence.

Suddenly, you're spiralling. Wondering what it means. Overanalyzing every word, every text.

Hoping they'll text again... soon. But they don't. The euphoric feeling fades. And you're left staring at your screen, refreshing, waiting, craving.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to emotional rollercoaster of mixed signals — where your brain and heart are being played like waves during storm — always shifting, never still.

Let's break down exactly why you're so addicted to someone who's never been clear with you.

Why the confusion, the euphoria, the constant overthinking?

Why you're not being "too much" or "needy" — your brain is clinging to what feels like hope, not realising it's been drowning in a storm it didn't cause.

You Fall for the Pattern, Not the Person

When someone gives you just enough attention to keep you wondering — a "what are u up to" text at midnight, longer-than-usual eye contact, maybe a flirty DM out of nowhere — your brain responds with a spike of dopamine. That's the same feel-good chemical that gets released when you hear your favourite song, eat your comfort meal, or get a compliment you didn't expect.

But when that attention is unpredictable? When you don't know if they'll text back today or leave you hanging for three days?

That's where your brain starts sinking deeper into the emotional storm.

This kind of inconsistency is known in psychology as intermittent reinforcement, and it's one of the most powerful reward systems out there. It's the unpredictability that gets you hooked. It's your brain clinging to the hope of a reward, even if it rarely comes.

Every "I miss you" after silence?

Every extra letter at the end of heyyy?

It feels like lightning cracking through a dark sky — thrilling, disorientating, and addictive.

Because in your brain's eyes, any bit of attention becomes a jackpot. Not because it's deep. Not because it's real.

But because it's rare.

And the rarer it is, the more your brain craves it.

Even if it's hurting you.

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Why Hot-and-Cold People Mess with Your Mind

Mixed signals create emotional chaos. One moment, you're fine. The next, you're drowning. You find yourself replying in seconds, rereading their last message like it's a puzzle, find reasons why they left you on read for 12 hours but still viewed your story the second you posted it.

It's not just overthinking — it's your brain on a rollercoaster of reward and confusion.

Here's the thing: your brain craves consistency. It wants patterns. It wants stability.

Love, safety, bonding — they all rely on predictability. Your brain thrives on feeling emotionally secure, on knowing where you stand.

But with mixed signals, you get the opposite.

You're being pulled in and pushed away, again and again.

Instead of forming a calm, healthy, steady connection, your brain enters a loop: reward, then withdrawal, next craving, and after a tiny reward, craving again.

And the scariest part? The more inconsistent they are, the more you drown.

You stop texting, start healing, tell yourself you're done — and then, boom. They send a "what's up?" or a blurry mirror selfie at 11:43 PM. Suddenly, your stomach flips, your chest tightens, your brain lights up again.

You know it's wrong. You just can't stop.

That one message feels like everything you've been waiting for — "Maybe it's a sign," "it's gonna be different this time," you tell yourself.

And then you are left on read. Again.

And you're right back where you started.

Because sometimes, you're not in love with them — you're addicted to the pattern.

This Isn't Just Emotion — It's Addiction Behaviour

Think you're being "too clingy"? Think again. Research shows that the brain activity of someone going through romantic uncertainty — the craving, the obsession, the euphoria, the stress — looks shockingly similar to someone in addiction withdrawal.

Studies using brain scans found that people caught in uncertain relationships, or going through a heartbreak, show: increased dopamine (craving, euphoria), decreased serotonin (obsession, anxiety), and even changes in cortisol levels (stress).

Every ignored message, every random compliment, every dry "wyd" is messing with your entire nervous system.

And that's probably why you feel off.

Why you can't sleep. Why you're exhausted. Why your skin might be freaking out. Your body is running on emotional cortisol and false dopamine highs.

This isn't just "drama." Your brain is trying to survive emotional unpredictability.

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The High Feels Real. Until it Doesn't.

If you're a teen or in your 20s, this probably hits extra hard. That's because your brain is still developing — especially in areas like impulse control, emotional regulation, and long-term thinking.

These areas are key for navigating relationships in a healthy way. But when someone gives you that dopamine hit — a random compliment, a flirty text, longer-than-usual eye contact — your brain grabs onto it like it's oxygen.

And there's more.

Teenage brains tend to be extra sensitive to social rewards and emotional highs. That's why falling for someone who's hot-and-cold doesn't just feel good:

It feels euphoric.

Electrifying.

Addictive.

Until it crashes. Hard.

And your brain — still learning how to process all this — ends up stuck in a cycle that feels like love...

...but is actually emotional survival mode.

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But If They Wanted To, They Would... Right?

Deep down, you know this isn't real consistency. You know they're not showing up. And still, your brains clings to the tiny moments that feel like something.

That one "good morning" text.

That time they said you looked cute.

That one night they stayed in chat when texting with you.

But here's the truth: It's not about them. It's about the hope your brain has attached to them.

You're not chasing them. You're chasing what it felt like when they saw you — and how badly you want that feeling to stay.

So... How Do You Break the Cycle?

Let's be real: you've probably tried.

You didn't text first. You tried not to think about them. You tried to ignore them.

But you couldn't stop your feelings — not right away.

Because it's hard. Of course it's hard, you're getting out of a habit.

The first step?

See what they're actually doing to you. How they make you feel — not what your friends are saying. Not your parents noticing something's off. Not your teachers wondering why your grades slipped.

You need to ask yourself how you really feel. Do you feel calm with this person? Or anxious and confused? Real love feels safe, not like drowning.

If someone likes you, you will know.

Avoid the "maybe" trap. If you're waiting for their behaviour to change, it's already a "no."

Don't romanticise their potential. Look at their patterns — not their best moments.

And please, don't fall into the "maybe they like me but don't know how to show it" spiral. If they can't show what they feel, it's not your responsibility. You already tried your best.

And if you need space? It's okay to go no contact. It's okay to block them.

You're not being dramatic — you're protecting your peace. And you're being kind to your nervous system.

You're allowed to choose healing, even if it hurts.

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Final Thoughts: You Deserve More Than "Almost"

You were never asking for too much — you were asking the wrong person.

You deserve steady love. Reassurance, not confusion. Effort, not excuses.

You deserve texts that doesn't leave you wondering. Plans that don't get cancelled. Words that are backed by action.

You deserve someone who doesn't just flirt when they're bored, but shows when it actually matters.

Someone who doesn't just "miss" you when they're alone at night, but someone who misses you in a place full of people — and shows it.

And letting go of that doesn't mean you're bitter. It means you're brave enough to choose yourself.

Healing won't feel linear. You'll still check your phone. You'll still wonder. That's okay.

Little by little, you'll stop.

And one day you'll stop waiting for them to see your worth...

Because you'll finally see it for yourself.