My Motivation

This past summer, I was dedicated to starting my self-help journey by vowing to work out every single day. As a burnt-out high school junior at the time, every late-night study snack and bus drive to and from school weighed heavily on my shoulders, exhausting me both physically and mentally.

After seeing countless self-help and calorie-deficient tutorials, I decided the best thing for me to do would be to lose weight, not necessarily to be skinny, but to reach a healthy and sustainable body mass that could improve my sense of self overall. For almost two months, I worked out for about 1-2 hours per day, and the process led to many emotional highs and lows.

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The Initial Stage

The first few weeks of my regimen were incredibly taxing on my body. I wasn’t used to so much physical movement, especially because most of the time I was working out, I was doing some form of cardio. I was burning around 500-600 calories using my treadmill at a 12 incline and 4.0 speed.

I also decided to ease myself into the process by keeping my diet relatively the same, only cutting down portions as opposed to food groups. Though each day my muscles felt sore, I was energized and motivated by my favorite foods. I was already eating a high volume of foods, so as I began cutting amounts down, it contributed significantly to my weight loss.

I started losing about 1-2 pounds per week, which has immediate changes in my physical appearance. My weight loss was most apparent in my upper body, where I noticed my arms and collarbone area starting to slim. People also commented on how my face looked brighter, and how my overall complexion seemed fresher.

Mentally, I felt really good. Working out gave me time in the day just for myself, where I couldn’t get distracted from the noise of everyday life. I found that listening to music or podcasts kept me the most occupied and focused, as I was able to distract myself from the rigor and sweat that came with exercise.

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How It Affected My Mental Health

Prior to working out, I spent most of my free time doomscrolling or procrastinating my work as I think many people struggle with today. I hadn’t realized exactly how much of my days I spent doing this until I started to schedule out my days. Since I had to set a block of time to work out, I also found myself blocking out other parts of my day, scheduling what activities I would work on for each hour. In general, I felt a lot more productive and was holding myself accountable in moments where I otherwise would not have.

In the following weeks, I decided to take my regimen a step further, and cut out nearly all the desserts and fatty foods in my diet. At that point, I didn’t feel restricted by removing these foods, as I had already stopped eating them in the same volume as I was before. Each time I ate something calorie-dense, I often felt worse than I did before.

They seemed to weigh me down in ways that I hadn’t felt before, and I think I naturally stopped eating them. But of course, a bite of chocolate here and there never hurt. Still, I also found myself being a lot more calorie-conscious, which surprised me. After seeing the numbers on my treadmill, I realized just how much work it took to burn a certain number of calories, and suddenly, a lot of foods no longer felt worth the extra numbers. I think this mindset helped me stay on track with my goal, but it easily could’ve spiraled into something worse. It was helpful to have friends and family around me who reminded me that my journey wasn’t about losing as much weight as possible, but trying to be the best version of myself. Working out can really open the door to villainizing foods, so it was important for me to find some grounding through others.

Reaching a Standstill

After the first month, I also noticed that the amount of weight I was losing each week slowed down significantly. Despite my diet being more strict than when I initially started, and being able to run at higher speeds than I was originally, it seemed like no matter what, I wasn’t able to lower the scale.

Upon further research, I realized that my body had reached almost a weight loss plateau in which my body had gotten used to my then smaller caloric intake and intense workout routine. The more I worked out, the slower my metabolism became due to my body trying to preserve my energy over time.

This standstill was frustrating at first because it seemed like I would have to keep up my busy workout routine for the rest of my life if I wanted to stay the same weight. I was getting bored with the same meals and activities each day, and I slowly started to feel less motivated when working out. I was no longer feeling the same catharsis as when I first started, and ended up skipping several days of my routine to reassess my priorities.

It felt odd not working out after I had been doing it for so long, and I continued to feel sluggish and unproductive. I realized then that I needed more variety in my workout routine to incentivize me to keep going, and that I didn’t have to stop working out entirely just because I wasn’t losing any more weight.

For the rest of the summer, I added a few weights and core exercises to my routine, which not only improved my dedication to working out, but my strength. Physically, I was able to target parts of my body that I wasn’t getting with pure cardio, and mentally, I was able to try new and difficult exercises that pushed me out of my comfort zone.

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Reflection

All in all, working out is never a linear process. It can be an emotionally and physically draining process without the right things in life to balance it out. While exercise certainly has the ability to improve our mental agility and health, it means nothing if we’re depriving ourselves of sustenance and joy from other activities.

Throughout my workout journey, I realized how important it was for me to set and reassess my goals every so often. My objective was not to lose weight, but just to get in better shape. When I approached each workout with this mindset, I never felt pressured by the scale, nor did I have an urgency to see my results more quickly. The needs of everyone will differ, and there isn’t a set workout routine that’ll work for everyone. Though I’m nowhere near as qualified as a personal trainer, I believe that working out can do amazing things for someone, so long as it comes from a place of self-love, respect, and dedication.