Slamming doors. Storming out. Shouting. Swearing.

I'm sure it all sounds relatable. I'm sure we've all ‘been there, done that’. You're not alone, but then why do people make us feel like we are the only ones prone to throwing occasional tantrums? Why are teenagers all over the world cornered, and made to feel like it is solely our fault that we experience fluctuations in estrogen or testosterone levels?

I have lost count of the number of times I have been labelled a ‘typical teenager’ by adults. After mood swings, I often feel dismissed and ignored with no one trying to understand or discover its root cause. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 1 in 3 teens experience an anxiety disorder, which is a major concern.

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Hopelessness, self-doubt, and brutal comparison are on the rise because of vicious traps like social media and peer pressure. Based on a national survey conducted by the University of Maryland, 85% of high schoolers succumb to peer pressure with its onset visible in children as young as nine years old. Not only is the battle with others a constant struggle, but the fight for our own identities adds to the stress and dilemma.

And each time we express our frustration, we are told that we should not give any heed to teen angst.

Hearing a word with such a negative connotation right after ‘teen’ makes us feel like there is something wrong with our age group itself: maybe it's our fault we give in to the challenges and unreal societal expectations of having everything figured out.

But what if I told you that being angsty in your teens is not so bad after all? No matter what everybody else says, grumpily shutting yourself inside your room can bring some surprising benefits.

It can lead to profound self-introspection

Your friends are all dating and having fun but you're too afraid you're going to mess up your schoolwork if you invite any distraction. Everybody is getting internships and jobs when you're struggling to make time and days seem to just slip away. You're in this weird phase between being ‘too young’ and ‘too old’ and are expected to socialise and be a part of society, but any childish acts are strictly prohibited as you might come across as ‘stupid’.

All of this adds to your already intensifying angst and you isolate yourself from everyone. What happens next?

A few breakdowns later, a feeble, yet obvious light begins to illuminate from within: self-awareness has never been so ignited.

After eventually growing tired of melting down, you are forced to think about things that YOU like, and not what society wants you to like. You will realise that nothing can be so important that it makes you compromise on your well-being: if you feel like you're not ready to expose yourself to the dating world yet, who cares? If you're content with the work you're putting in at school and have hobbies that help you unwind, nobody wants to know how many side hustles you have and how much money you make off of them.

All the nervousness would probably make you realise what works for you, and what doesn't. If being in social situations brings immense anxiety, odds are that you're not a ‘people person’. And that's fine! You do you, and anything that brings you angst or discomfort is likely not meant for you.

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Acknowledging angst can be liberating

The trick to make your peace with your angst, whether it comes in bouts or seems to be a perennial shadow, is to remind yourself that almost 16% of the world population is in the same boat as you are. Angst comes in different forms: for some, it's self-inflicted and arises from constant overthinking, while for some it's imposed by external factors like school, toxic relationships, lack of sleep, etc. Whatever your angst looks like, tell yourself that it's going to be okay.

It's a bad feeling; I know that. But once you stop beating yourself up for feeling things that are completely normal for a teenager to feel, you'll bloom and how.

Become an optimist: start looking at the silver lining to every cloud and your angst won't feel so unbearable anymore. It will be integrated into the vexing process of growing up.

Acknowledging the monster internally or talking it out with a friend/parent/therapist can be freeing. After all, your fears vanish into thin air when you give words to them, and they are only the strongest when you allow them to eat you up from inside.

It can be your ‘storm before the calm’

Sometimes, we need to feel a little low to come out higher. A slight push toward the ground can lead to a rebound with greater velocity and vigour. If you start thinking of your teen angst as inevitable and begin to find ways in which you can emerge stronger, the game changes.

You don't have to be at your best when the angst is at its peak. But once you've killed it a little (whether through journaling, talking, or engaging in your hobbies), the rooted feeling of ‘not being good enough' can act as a motivator and inspire you to push your boundaries and get out of your comfort zone healthily. If you feel like you could do a lot more, in most cases you're probably right. You know your potential best, and you owe it to yourself to try and better yourself. Staying away from harmful feelings of comparison and self-loathing and instead directing your angst into a way of self-improvement can be the best way in which you create an angel out of the otherwise devil.

Conclusion

If viewed with the correct perspective, teen angst can lead to the most growth you will ever experience. All those complex, not necessarily happy feelings, are a sign that you are evolving and that you are making your ideas and principles that others might not always agree with. Stop letting people bring you down for having thoughts and emotions that are beyond your control. We should start to embrace everything that comes along: the good, the bad, and the ugly – because we only have a few teen years to celebrate.