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Truths About Dating in High School That Not Everyone Tells You


Fri, January 26

High school love has never stopped being the topic to wonder about for generations of students.

Some people say it's not worth it. Some say it's a distraction. Some say they're good memories. But some others know that it could be the best thing that ever happens to them because high school love stories do make it far beyond high school every once in a while.

Whatever it is that you believe in, as long as you're curious about what high school dating is like, this article is for you. Here are 8 truths about dating in high school that not everyone tells you!

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1. It Is A Carefree Experience – Very Important!

Unlike relationships in adulthood, there's often little expectation in a high school romance. It is not a sign that the relationship isn't important; it is simply because as high school kids, we don't have much say in what our futures look like, or how fast our life changes.

Therefore, there is no pressure to stay in the relationship or bring it to a new level. What you do in that relationship is purely out of your interest and concern for yourself. You have the luxury of knowing that the worst thing this relationship could be is a bad experience because, for a high school student, there's not so much you could lose. That being said, it doesn't mean there's nothing you could lose to a relationship, but at least for now you wouldn't have to wonder if they're using you for things like money or power.

Don't underestimate the significance of this aspect – adulthood relationships won't be so simple!

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2. They Could Motivate You To Be Better At School

When we grow up, our lover doesn't necessarily have to be our friend, but in a high school relationship, lovers are often inevitably friends.

As high school students, your dating sessions could, a lot of the time, be study sessions. From studying for a test together to tutoring each other, doing it with your boyfriend/girlfriend makes it way more fun. A common concern is that dating would affect your academic performance, but if you don't let it happen, it most certainly can't happen. Instead, let your relationship motivate you.

In this case, healthy “peer pressure” comes into play. Looking at your boyfriend/girlfriend succeed in school or have a goal for the future could influence you to do have high goals too.

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3. A Good Romantic Relationship Gives You A New Kind Of Best Friend

High school is stressful. Besides academic workload, there are a million things that strike us as a surprise because we are getting closer and closer to the doorstep of maturity. Social life becomes more complicated; friends come and go and stay; school doesn't get easier; financial concerns kick in for seniors thinking about college; future goals suddenly become so much more serious than they needed to be…

Amidst hard times, having friends helps a lot and is very important. But having a good boyfriend/girlfriend gives you another kind of support. With them, you could experience the feeling of simply being with someone who makes you forget all your problems. The feeling when you are constantly reminded that you're loved for all of your flaws and faults.

It is a new kind of best friend. As someone who has first-hand experience, it feels special to have someone like that in my pre-adult chapters.

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4. It Is Not Going To Be Easy At All

No relationship is easy, including high school relationships. One reason that makes it sometimes harder is that many of the times, high school relationships are our first real relationships.

There is no experience to learn from, and I doubt that high school peers would have much to share themselves. High school relationships often become the experience for future grown-up romances to reference.

Communication is hard. Fighting is hard. Balancing is hard.

Keeping up with everything in the other person's life could also be hard if you already have so much on your plate. If anything, breaking up is one of the easiest things.

Therefore, when going into a relationship, make sure you are in a good state to fit another thing into your life because it is going to be busy.

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5. High School Relationships Might Or Might Not Work Out. Know What To Do.

This is just a reminder that good relationships are worth it. I'm not talking about flings or crushes, but also relationships that feel rare. Those that make one feel lucky and special to be in. If you're in such a high school relationship, this is just a positive note encouraging you to hold on, because they might be worth something.

In a survey that asked people who married their high school sweethearts about their relationships, there were heart-warming answers that would light your day with hope.

“We met during our senior year of high school, and we were intentionally noncommittal because we were headed to different colleges that fall — but then we accidentally fell in love over the summer. We decided to stay together and try long distance — which brought on challenging times — but we never didn't want to be together. We got married three weeks ago after 12 years together.

We don't believe that we were 'meant to be' — it took work in the beginning, and it was hard! But we chose to grow together, when we could have easily grown apart. We love each other for who we were, who we are, and who we will be.” - (Yahoo! Finance, 2022, “People Who Married Their High School Sweethearts Get Honest About How Their Relationships Turned Out” )

However, to be realistic, it is undeniable that high school relationships don't often last. According to statistics, only 2-5% of high school relationships endure long-term. Only 0.9% of high school sweethearts last into marriage without a divorce.

Therefore, it is essential to note that as a high school student, it is significant to set boundaries, make sure your relationship is healthy, and not let your emotions and self become overly attached or dependent on it.

Lastly, let yourself be young and be free. In any case, that love knocks on the door, let it in. Whether it's an adventure of failure or happiness, you never know until you find out.

Linh Vuong
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Linh is a Vietnamese high school student, currently living and studying in the U.S. She has been passionate about writing for a long time and hopes her writings could, in a way, light up your today and tomorrow.