Quick Disclaimer
I do not hate romance; I absolutely love romance. Novels, movies, and romance itself are wonderful. Summer romances aren’t my thing, because I don’t want a relationship that just stays in the summer.
I struggle with the concept of putting a time limit on a relationship. It’s probably great until you realize that you are counting down the days until summer ends and the relationship is off. What stays in summer stays in summer, right?
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The definition of a summer romance is a temporary fling that often ends when the season of summer ends. It’s meant to be temporary, and it’s meant to be ended. Why would you want a summer romance if there is a 99% chance you are entering into a temporary relationship that will break your heart?
You may know that it’s temporary, but your heart doesn’t always catch up with you. Your heart gets attached, and why wouldn’t it? You are in a relationship that is probably going 100 mph, so your brain gets confused. Your brain confuses passion and infatuation with love and comfort.
Personally, if I’m going to be in a relationship, I’ll enter into it with the intent of it lasting. It wouldn’t be a mutual business-like transaction agreeing to end the relationship at the end of summer. Relationships shouldn’t be entered lightly; it’s not just because you are bored or you want to have fun. You enter into a relationship because you truly like someone and because you expect it to last longer than 2-3 months.
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The Beautiful Picture that Movies Paint
I don’t know about you, but I am a huge movie fan. I love movies and I love TV shows, and obviously romance is a huge part of those movies and shows. Shows portray summer relationships as something glamorous and perfect because it’s happening in the summer, and apparently summer is supposed to be a super romantic time.
I personally do not understand that part of it, because I would much rather have a fall or winter romance because it’s cozier, but that’s just me. The Summer I Turned Pretty show series debuted as a summer romance story. Every summer the romance would restart, and after summer, they go their separate ways, but they’ll always have the beach and the beach house, and each other. Each summer is a whirlwind of drama and relationships taking big steps very quickly. Everything seems rushed because you are trying to fit 6 months of being apart into a 2-3 month summer, which leads to rushing into things and broken hearts.
I understand the appeal of summer romances because it gives you something to do, and there isn’t a lot of pressure or stress that comes with it. There is less worry in the relationship because you know in the back of your mind that it’ll be ending soon. It teaches you to live in the moment and to soak up every second, and you see this in movies and shows.
These shows tell you that summer romances are cute, aesthetically pleasing, and the perfect conversation topic for girls and guys alike. It looks pretty good and pretty promising, and that makes us want it. Why would we want to miss out on something that makes a bunch of people really happy?
Why would we want to miss out on romance and love? Well, one thing about the book and movie industry is that love sells. Everyone wants to see it, and everyone wants to have a relationship to work towards or a justification for what they’re doing. Romance makes money; that’s why we see it a lot in movies and in books.
The Not so Perfect Picture
Your relationship will go really fast, if you’re someone who likes to take it slow, this will not happen. Chances are, it will be a race against the clock, a race against time. In the end you might have a perfect relationship for the summer and the summer after that, but what about in between that time?
What happens to your heart and your mind every time you break it off every summer? You might be physically broken up, and apart, but your heart doesn’t just brush away all those feelings. If you know that everything is going to start over the following summer, you are going to be pining for this person for 6-8 months. You will get to a point of obsession and possibly even jealousy. Whatever it is, it isn’t good.
Is it worth investing time and energy into something temporary, only to be left heartbroken? Or, is it better to wait for the right person who won’t limit your relationship to just a summer fling? I vote for the second option.
If you go through your relationships deeming each one as a fling, you will have serious commitment issues, and you might find yourself putting your worth in the hands of other people outside of yourself. Summer flings can get real ugly, really fast.
Just Let Go and Let Life Happen
Just sit back and let life happen. You cannot control everything, so if a relationship comes your way, treat it seriously and consider it seriously and honestly. Don’t put time limits on your relationships because it will only hurt you in the end, and don’t get in a relationship with someone who only wants a fling. Chances are, you won’t be able to change their minds anyways.
Don’t stress out about a relationship; worry about making yourself into the best person you can be, whatever that means for you. Focus on making yourself happy, and focus on prioritizing yourself and what is important to you.
