The pressure to date is everywhere, from posts on social media to friends and family asking if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. While most people mean well, it can be frustrating, especially if you feel like you aren’t ready for a relationship.
When this happens, it can feel like maybe you should join the crowd of couples. But doing so when you're not prepared can be detrimental to your mental health.
Being In A Relationship Won't Make You Eternally Happy
Romance movies and books are known for the perfect happy ending where the two lovers ride off into the sunset and never have any problems. That couldn't be further from reality.
Every couple will argue and have bad days. You're not always going to feel happy when you're with them. Sometimes you'll want to kick them in the tail because they make you so mad. If you go in with only the illusions of perfect love, you will get your heart broken.
Love is a choice. On the days when being with them is difficult, you have to choose to love them and be with them, otherwise your relationship will fall apart.
There Isn’t A Timeline For Finding The One
People fall in love at all ages. Some people meet "the one" when they're five years old, others don't meet their true love until they're 65. Because everyone's love story is different, you can't expect to meet Mr. or Ms. Right by a certain time in your life.
Your love story will be unique and beautiful, you just may have to wait a little while for it to be written.
There Is No Such Thing As Casual Dating
There is no such thing as casual dating; you're either in a relationship or you're not. Hollywood has been circulating the lie that you can date someone, but not be in a relationship. Even if you don't define it as a relationship, an emotional attachment starts to form. Once this happens, like it or not, you are in a relationship.
You Might End Up With The Wrong Person
Regret is a powerful force.
If you feel obligated to date, there isn't always a lot of thought that goes into picking who you go out with. Now, while he or she may be nice, they may even be attractive to you, but if you don't love them, you're just wasting your time.
Now, if someone comes along that you really do love, getting out of your current relationship won't be easy. Then comes the dilemma of moving on or staying with your current boyfriend or girlfriend. This creates so much heartbreak and makes it hard for you to trust and for others to trust you.
You Can't Please Everyone
As much as we would like to, it is impossible to please everybody and make them happy. It is not your responsibility to make sure that everyone is happy, you can only make sure that you are happy.
If you are happier being single, then share that with the people around you. Let them know that you value their help and opinions, but you're not comfortable being in a relationship right now.
Only You Know What’s Best For You
No one else can decide when you’re ready for a relationship. The people who love you can give you advice, but ultimately you are the only one who can be the judge on that.
If you are constantly feeling pressured into finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, talk about it with someone you trust and work out how to deal with it. This can include making a list of reasons that you don't feel ready or deciding how to approach conversations about dating.
Love Isn’t Like In the Movies
In movies, a boy meets a girl and, by the end, they are completely and totally in love. While love is a powerful force, love doesn't just happen. Love takes time to grow in the hearts of two people.
Love isn't just flirting, hand holding, and getting butterflies in your stomach when they are around. You have to be able to walk through life with them, knowing that they will be there for you no matter what.
Someday You Will Be Ready
Although it may not seem like it now, someday you will be ready to be in a relationship. It might be only a few months or a year or two from now until you are ready.
Don't try to push yourself to be ready, instead let readiness come on its own. Someday you will be ready to be in a relationship. When you are ready, you will meet someone who will be right for you.
How To Know If You're Ready To Date:
1. The Thought Of Being In A Relationship Doesn't Scare You
Fear will kill a budding relationship faster than you can say, "oops!" One of the most important parts of being ready for a relationship, is the thought of being in a real relationship doesn't scare you. In fact, it seems like a new adventure waiting to happen.
2. You're In A Good Place In Life
Trying to start a new relationship when everything is crazy is so difficult. Trying to divide your focus between the two, will make it hard to concentrate on either life event.
This is why it is so important not to try growing a budding relationship when you have so many other priorities going on in your life. Instead, wait until your life isn't so hectic to seek out a new relationship, so that you can give the person the attention they deserve.
3. There's Room In Your Heart For Another Person
It might sound a little cheesy, but everyone you love has a special place in your heart. When you are ready for a relationship, there will be enough room to add another person.
Relationships are complicated and messy, but they are also wonderful and beautiful. Just because you're not in one now, doesn't mean that you will be alone forever. And just because you don't want a relationship now, doesn't mean you won't later. It just takes time.