When the Times profile was released, everyone on social media, from TikTok to Instagram, wanted Hannah Neeleman, commonly known on social media as Ballerina Farm, to be free from her lifestyle and husband. Hannah Neeleman was born in Utah on June 25, 1990 (age 34). She was the eighth of nine children that her parents, who ran a flower shop, had. Growing up, she loved to dance, and at the age of 17, she was admitted to the Juilliard School, a prestigious arts university, and moved to New York to follow her passion. To pay school-related expenses, she started competing in beauty pageants.
However, during the summer before her senior year, she met Daniel Neeleman, and the pair quickly fell in love. They dated for months before getting married in 2011.
In May 2012, they welcomed their first of eight children, Henry. During her graduation, she walked the stage with her one-week-old and was one of the first undergraduate ballerinas to graduate as a mother.
Image credit: Don Ramey Loga from Wikimedia Commons
How did Hannah Neeleman become famous?
In 2018, she and Daniel purchased a farm in Utah and named it Ballerina Farm since she was a ballerina who turned into a farmer. Once opening a farm, she started posting, and currently, she has 9.6 million followers on TikTok, 9.9 million on Instagram, and 1.67 million subscribers on YouTube. She quickly gained fame due to the portrayal of the picture-perfect lifestyle she has going on with her husband and kids.
On her social media, she posts videos of milking her cow, cooking and baking (making fresh butter, cheese, and more), and tending to the farm. She often wears floral dresses and skirts on her socials. Because of her popularity, she was featured in a July 20 profile in the Times that called her “Queen of the Tradwives." Tradwife (short for traditional wife) denotes a woman who typically takes on the traditional gender role of taking care of the house and kids.
While there is nothing wrong with taking on a traditional gender or marriage role, in social media there is an unrealistic portrayal of what being a wife and a mother is like. In social media, traditional wives portray the life of a spotless house, perfect makeup, and cooking everything from scratch, including cough drops, bubble gum, cereals, and other food. However, women with several children, even if they are stay-at-home mothers, do not have time to prepare everything from scratch since helping kids with homework, taking them to the park, feeding them, showering, and other tasks take considerably longer because they frequently do not have much support.
Furthermore, many mothers won't be carrying out their daily tasks in the perfect smooth hair bun and clothing. And, with the image of a picture-perfect lifestyle, many mothers feel as if they aren't doing enough. But what social media doesn't reveal is behind the scenes, where the women often have multiple people helping them take care of the kids while they are producing content.
Why were viewers concerned about her after the article was released?
According to the article, she participated in a beauty pageant 12 days after giving birth to her 8th child without any pain medication. She started questioning whether or not she wanted to participate in the pageant on the fifth day postpartum due to bleeding and swelling, but by the 9th day, she was trying on outfits for the competition and getting a spray tan on the 10th day.
This caused concern among viewers and followers about her health, as postpartum recovery typically lasts 6-8 weeks, or longer depending on the individual, and should involve rest according to Cleveland Clinic, contrary to her active behavior.
Additionally, the article revealed that she was sometimes too tired to even get out of bed. After the article was published, many TikTok users suggested that she should leave her husband, believing that he was pushing her too hard. The husband received even more criticism when it was revealed that the space intended to be her ballet studio had been turned into a schoolroom for their children. Many criticized the fact that as the son of a billionaire, David Gary Neeleman, the former CEO of JetBlue airlines and founder of other airlines, he couldn't provide a studio for her.
Some viewers felt that her husband was preventing her from enjoying ballet and was steering her away from the ballet life, as his dream was to settle in the western wilds, run a farm, not have nannies, and get married right away, whereas she wanted to finish school before marriage. Furthermore, viewers became concerned when they learned that they had different answers regarding having more children, with him expressing eagerness while she seemed more reluctant, acknowledging her age.
How did Hannah Neeleman respond to the Times article?
However, a few days after the article was released, she responded with a TikTok video, saying that the article had attacked her family and that she loved her lifestyle with her husband. They also posted their version of their story on their website, detailing her life before and after meeting her husband. In her story, she revealed that she learned about the business from her family's flower shop and always had an entrepreneurial mindset.
She also shared that she had left school focused on dance, but when she returned after getting married, she found herself envisioning a different future. She talked about the sacrifices they both made, as her husband had ended his athletic career early and moved to New York to support her. She also mentioned that they were ready for a family right after getting married, and motherhood became a new dream for her.
What can we learn from this controversy?
While everyone is entitled to their own opinion about the traditional wife lifestyle, viewers need to recognize the privilege the trade wife influencers on social media have as they have many many people helping them run their successful empire. Girls need to realize that those influencers are portraying unrealistic expectations about marriage and motherhood so as a viewer it is important to be cautious about the information we are taking in.
