Forget taking off the bra.
I am ready to take off the entire stuffy outfit...and get right into my pajamas.
The only sexy thing on me is the crumbs from the cookies I am munching on while binge-watching season after season of "Younger".
And to all the boys and men just taking their time to text back? Don't worry, take your time. Just know that after the next few days of raging moods, rolling rivers of tears, and just being a regular woman, I will be back to conquering the world on my terms. But now it is time for some self-care.
For the ladies out here struggling in their red zones, their time of the month, and any other name you have for this perfectly natural part of your female anatomy, I applaud you. You are still going to school, work, sports practice, just plain living your life. You deal with fathers who do not understand, boyfriends that can't take no for an answer, not to mention handling men who say crap with no truth attached to it. You manage to put on that smile while crying on the inside because the world does not make room for understanding menstrual maintenance.
I especially want to give a spotlight to the girls and women out there who had to learn all this on their own whether their moms were there or not. I see you, I feel how you feel and care about you like my own sisters. We stand by one another.
As a means of getting through this monthly ritual, I have created a mini guide on how to enjoy yourself while moving through the intensities of menstruation. So today, we're going to tell that thing we call that time of the month, "Sit down sis. I got some pleasure to get to today."
5. Express Yourself Baby
This is a hard one ladies. In a world always telling us to close our mouths and our knees more than discussing how to prevent gun violence, it gets pretty difficult when it comes to being honest about personal feelings. This is where the power of the femme comes into play. Get creative girls. Scribble like the mad hatter in your journal. Scream into the sky outside or into your pillow. Talk to yourself in the mirror that is your smartphone camera. Maybe try finding a better therapist. Whatever you do, let it be a means of expression that is safe and helps you work through your feelings. Do not let culture, people (including family), background, nor the past stop you from dealing with what is rolling into that snowball of pain. Unwinding that knot of pain is what will give you release. Your life is about what you make of it. Therefore, it starts with how you make the best version of yourself.
4. Binge All the Fudge You Want
Sneak it in if you have to my dears. Survival of the hardest, heaviest days is all based on good distractions. Get out that list of shows you have been saying you would catch up on for the past couple of years. Some good ones to start with are "Grown-ish", "Good Trouble", and "The Bold Type" makes the writer and woman in me happily entwined. If you need a throwback, "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" is always good for cuddling up with. In all honesty, watch what makes you feel goosebumps in your soul as well as your flesh. If you want, help your fellow girl and drop your favorite show or two into the comments!
3. Nap, Nap, Nap
Let me tell you sis, nothing beats a nap. No friend, no bae, no love of Algee Smith will make me sacrifice sleep. Femmes, we have been working hard, clocking in more than clocking out. It is the time for getting under the soft covers, wearing that favorite t-shirt of yours, before kissing the world's worries goodnight as well as good riddance. Set aside time each day or every few days for the recharge. Self-care is one habit will make your day much better. By all means, take that well-deserved siesta.
2. Clear. Them. Messages.
Having your emotions on high, feeling ickier all the time, and wanting to tear the world in half is hard enough without people bent on your destruction. Whether they're fake-nice, plain fake, mean, or just plain toxic, you know they gotta go -- today! So when you're ready, that phone must come out and once you click on that blaring warning, "Are you sure you want to delete this?", punch that delete button's lights out (you know gently). Keep swiping them all the way to oblivion. Let the messages fade and don't let those contacts stay. Make room for the newer, hotter, and better for you. People that are dependable and want you at your best are all that will be accepted this time around. Claim your good tribe. Now be ready to attract the blessings.
1. Press Play on Those Playlists
Music is the drug that keeps humankind going. The way notes and their rhythms come into synchronicity with one another has no simple explanation. Even on a person's worst day, a song is what brings them back to the light of their path. Maybe right now is the hour of screamo. Or for the next twenty minutes, Mozart is the best friend that knows how to calm your anxiety. Rachel Portman's soundtrack from The Cider House Rules does my heart good on any day. All in all, playlists are in existence for every type of person. If not, experiment with making your own. After that, press play, and let the music take care of you.
Considering I learned a lot about menstruation stuff without the help of my mom, I understand that everyone's methods differ and that the journey as a woman is terribly hard. This is a guide you can always refer to. Save it however you need to. I want this to help girls and women everywhere. On your worst days, come back to here and this site so that you know there are whole nations of femmes facing the challenges you are facing.
Oh, before I forget, you are a boss. You got this. Now get your self-care enjoyment on.