Being in high school can be scary and difficult, especially when it comes to making friends who align with your values or, have a good influence on you.

However, if you are outgoing like me, it is easy to talk to new people and engage in conversation. This is a blessing and a curse, because people in high school can mask their true intentions really well, and end up leaving you or vice versa. And it is more than okay to feel upset about losing a friend or even an entire friend group during high school, because losing a friend does not mean your life is over; it is just the start.

If you are an introvert, or struggling to find the right people for you, this article can help put you on the right path to building strong and meaningful friends!

Image Credit: Nabiha Khan

1. On Maintaining Friends

Being in high school comes with a lot of academic stress, but having friend drama on top of that makes it even worse. That's why you should be picky with who you are friends with. Especially if you have a heavy workload or numerous extracurricular activities to manage, having high-maintenance friends might not be the best idea.

By this, I mean friends who might not be as busy as you and expect time from you, which is not their fault, but might not work for you. I've had friends in the past who wouldn't talk to me for days because I was unable to make time for them. However, I realized we were not on the same page, and we went our separate ways, which is totally okay!

Neither of us was the problem; our schedules didn't align, and you must come to terms with that. It avoids arguments and further misunderstandings. Your friends should be your outlet for having fun and distracting you from life's stress, not adding to it.

They are also not your therapist, nor are you theirs, so if EVERY hangout session you have is a trauma dump, it could be draining you instead of uplifting you like it should. If you often find yourself being more upset than happy with your friends, you are not subjected to hanging out with them, your high school years are YOUR time to spend making the happiest memories possible; do not waste it by being negative and down all of the time.

And if you feel scared to drop or distance yourself from these people, you can always have a conversation with them to address any issues you think could prevent it.

Image Credit: Nabiha Khan

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2. On Being "Alone"

I notice that many of my peers and others on social media are concerned or scared about the idea of being alone. However, as much as our society alienizes being alone, it can also be good for you. It is never bad to be alone, whether you're sitting in class or walking through the hallways.

This just means you are waiting for the right people to come into your life, and they will. Suppose you do not feel comfortable being alone.

In that case, it means you do not feel whole as a person, and it is more important that you invest time in finding happiness in solitude, because you will never find the peace you are looking for in other outlets, such as friends, if you do not do so. It is so important that you let yourself be in a stage like this, that most people do not let themselves be in, because if you have enough trust in yourself to do so, the friends you long for will come to you quicker than you think.

I used to be afraid of not finding friends when I was alone, but I've come to realize that it is so much better now. In the long run, if you don't settle for low-life people and instead invest that time into something good for yourself, you will find yourself surrounded by the people who are meant to meet you in the meantime. I also had a belief that I would never see the friend group I really wanted, but I did, and I know you will too.

Image Credit: Nabiha Khan

3. On Finding Friends

When I mean you should wait for the right people to come into your life, I mean that you should not be in a desperate state and befriend anyone who comes your way. That is different from small talk with others; you should definitely engage in conversation with your peers and classmates, but that doesn't mean you should necessarily share every detail of your life with them.

I believe you should practice talking to people in general every day, so you can build confidence to befriend anyone whom you might find interesting or fun to be around. And never be scared to take the initiative to talk to someone who might seem cool—we often have a fear of rejection.

Still, if you really think about it, people are more likely to speak to you and hold a conversation, and if they don't, it truly has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. And never hold back when someone talks to YOU, because everyone has something to offer in this world, and you never know where and who one conversation can lead you! Remember, the confidence of talking to new people will not come to you overnight, but gradual practice of putting yourself out there will build it.