Scrolling through Tik Tok one afternoon, I stumbled across a quote: "salt and sugar look the same." While in the moment it didn't phase me, it's a quote I've come back too many times. I've had an abundance of negative experiences with friends, some that resulted in a stronger relationship, and some that resulted in a split. Sometimes, those splits felt like relief; other times, they left me second-guessing everything I thought I knew about loyalty and connection.

In the end, I've come to learn that the true friends are the ones who are willing to stick around when things get uncomfortable, defend you in a room you're not in, and show up other than when it's to their convenience. Just like salt and sugar, people can look the same from the outside, but it's their actions that reveal their true nature. It’s easy to mistake surface-level charm for genuineness, but over time, the differences become impossible to ignore.

Are Cliques Still a Thing?

Absolutely, but they’ve evolved. The classic movie version of cliques like athletes, theater kids, gamers, or art students, as seen in films like Clueless, still has some truth to it, but it doesn’t capture the whole picture anymore. Thanks to online communities, social media, and a wider acceptance of different interests, it’s become very common for students to be involved between multiple groups. People don’t fit neatly into just one box anymore.

Still, cliques haven’t disappeared, they’ve just changed shape. Instead of being defined by the hobbies and interests you identify with, they now commonly form around mutual friends, group chats, and social media. Sometimes, they’re less about what you do and more about who you know or how you present yourself. While this itself isn't necessarily a negative, the real issue arises when these groups close themselves off to new people or make judgments based on surface-level impressions.

In my experience, the most difficult cliques aren’t always the obvious ones. The most painful are often the smaller circles that form within a larger friend group. It’s that feeling of being technically included, but never quite part of the inner circle-as if to say, “We’re all friends here, but a few of us just like each other more than the rest.” These groups can be even harder to navigate, because they’re often unspoken but deeply felt.

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Navigating Tough Social Situations

In reality, high school can be a miserable experience. Whether it’s having no sense of belonging, being left out, or handling friendships, navigating your social life while dealing with academics is exhausting. Here are some tips for making it through without losing your sense of self:

A friend to all is a friend to none. Taylor Swift said it best! From my personal experience, when someone constantly seeks validation in trying to be liked by everyone they meet, they’re usually not the kind of person who invests deeply in any one friendship. It's hard to build something real with someone who's constantly chasing approval from the crowd.

Quality over quantity. You don’t need to be friends with everyone, but you do need people who make you feel safe, seen, and supported. That might be a small group and that’s totally okay. There's no rule dictating how many friends you need to have in order to be "socially acceptable."

Set boundaries. If someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself or keeps you around only when it's convenient for them, it’s okay to step back. Not every friendship is meant to last forever. You deserve friends who want more than last nights homework answers or to borrow your clothes.

Speak up, or move on. If someone crosses a line, call it out and consider whether it’s worth your energy to stay in that relationship. Remember, the point of friends are to make you feel uplifted and appreciated. If that isn't the case, It's time to reconsider.

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So… Are the Stereotypes Still Relevant?

Yes and no. While "mean girls" will always exist, at the end of the day, high school is just a short chapter of your life. It feels like everything in the moment, but in reality, however you're getting treated is a direct reflection of how that person feels about themselves, and has nothing do to with you.

Shoutout to my high school dean Mr. Bruno for that amazing piece of advice! The best thing you can do is stay true to yourself, and remember that you can't fight fire with fire. always rise above those who wrong you, and your kindness will one day come back to you.