Image Credit: Pavel Danllyuk from Pexels
You can’t outrun expectations. Whether you’re the one setting the bar too high, or the one struggling to reach it, expectations have a way of following you — a constant shadow at your heels.
Sometimes they push you to grow. Other times, they leave you feeling like you’re never enough, no matter how hard you try.
So here’s the real question: Are expectations fueling your journey, or quietly stealing the joy from it?
Let’s talk about it.
Expectation is something that is around us in every relationship tied to so-called love. It doesn’t matter which relationship we talk about — whether it's parent-child, siblings, or your closest friends, family, or our partners— expectations always finds a way to enter into our lives, But the irony is we really don't know "WHAT EFFECT DOES THIS HAVE?"
Image Credit: Bobby Brown from Pexels
A bond between two people is something that is filled with love, care, joy, gratitude… and expectation, yeah, expectations really believe expectation is like rust — it might look harmless at first, but over time, it can slowly eat away at a relationship. On the flip side, it can also be like water to a flower — something that helps you grow. The problem is, you don’t always know which one it’s going to be until it’s already affecting you.
When expectations are realistic — when they match what a person can actually do — they can feel supportive. Like someone’s cheering for you from the sidelines. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need to push forward.
But the second they cross the line — when they start demanding more than we’re able to give — they stop helping and start hurting. What used to feel like motivation starts to feel like pressure. And slowly, that pressure turns into guilt, frustration, even resentment.
The saddest part?
Image Credit: Vlada karpovich from Pexels
It’s not always about the expectation itself. It’s about what happens when someone can’t meet it. That’s when things go downhill. Not because someone didn’t try, but because they were made to feel like trying wasn’t enough.
When we start making someone feel unloved or undesired just because they couldn’t meet a standard we had in our heads… that’s where the real damage happens. It’s not the failure that breaks the bond — it’s the lack of understanding.
So what if we started expecting less from others and gave more space to just be human?
That alone could change so much.
It’s not about never expecting anything. It’s about shifting how we expect. Being kinder, more flexible.
Starting with ourselves — because let’s face it, change doesn’t start with someone else fixing things. It always begins with us.
And the best part? When we stop putting unrealistic pressure on others, we also stop carrying the weight of constant disappointment. That shift not only changes how we see others — it changes how we see ourselves.
More peace. More clarity. More positivity.
And that kind of energy? That’s exactly what fuels real success.
Support from the right person can be one of the most beautiful, empowering things in life. It gives us strength, comfort, and the courage to keep going even when things get tough. But the moment that support comes wrapped in heavy expectations — expectations we’re not ready for, or simply can’t live up to — it starts to shift.
It stops feeling like encouragement and starts to feel like quiet pressure. And when those expectations eventually go unmet, it’s not just the hopes that break… It’s our motivation, our confidence, and sometimes even the relationship itself. That kind of weight, especially from someone we love, can leave a lasting scar.
You know what hit me the hardest while reflecting on all this?
Image Credit: Cowley from Pexels
The place where this whole "expectation problem" seems to show up the most… is between parents and children.
It’s one of the most beautiful, lifelong bonds we’ll ever know — built on love, care, and connection. But sometimes, over time, it becomes more about expectations than understanding. And not intentionally — it just happens.
Quietly. Slowly. Through hopes, dreams, and sometimes, unspoken pressure.
When parents expect more than what their child can give, whether it’s beyond their abilities, their interest, or their emotional capacity, it doesn’t just hurt the child. It harms the bond itself. It creates a gap. A space where love still exists, but is overshadowed by disappointment and confusion.
And honestly, it’s painful on both ends. The child feels like they’re never enough. The parent feels like their child isn’t trying hard enough. And neither one is truly seen.
That’s why learning to set the right expectations — ones rooted in who the child actually is, not who we want them to be — is the key. It’s not about expecting nothing. It’s about expecting wisely. With love, with patience, and most importantly, with the willingness to grow together.
Because,
When expectations align with love, not control — that’s when relationships thrive.
Image Credit: RDNE stock project from Pexels
A girl who always tried to be perfect — in everything. But because she couldn’t be “The Perfect One” in academics, her efforts were often overlooked. She wasn’t below average — not even close.
In fact, she was beyond that. Her dream wasn’t just to be successful. It was to become someone people would aspire to be.
But somewhere along the way, she forgot how to live. In trying to meet her parents' expectations, her teachers’, society’s…She forgot to meet her own.
Before she even had a chance to truly begin her journey, she felt like she was already failing—already losing. Because the weight of everyone else's expectations didn’t push her forward…It held her down.
It didn’t just crush her motivation —It dimmed her light. It made her question everything she once believed about herself.
But here’s what I believe:
If someone — especially the people she loves — could just pause and say,
“We see you. We trust you. We’re proud of you, no matter what.”
Image Credit: Renaldi from Pexels
She wouldn’t just come back. She would glow brighter . She would rise stronger.
Because sometimes, all it takes is being seen—not as a performer of expectations, but as a person with dreams, depth, and a heart that deserves to breathe.
So here’s the truth I’ve come to after writing all this: I still don’t know the clear answer. I don’t know if expectations are the fuel behind our greatest wins or the quiet reason we sometimes lose ourselves. Maybe they’re both. Maybe it depends on who they’re coming from, how they’re given, and where we are in our own journey.
But I do know one thing — expecting something isn’t wrong. We expect from the people we love. We expect because we care.
Because we believe in them. And sometimes, because we want to feel believed in, too.
It’s not about removing expectations from our lives — it’s about learning how to carry them with softness, with understanding, and with space. So maybe the real answer isn’t choosing between “fuel” or “crushing.”
Maybe it’s a choice, but how we let expectations live in our relationships — gently, kindly, and with a whole lot of love— truly impacts you.
