As we grow up, we shift through many phases. When we look back on the years of our lives (for me, 17 of them), there are significant core memories that have played a crucial role in shaping our identities up to this very point.
While everyone's phases vary, and no two people will reflect on the same moments, some of us will share similar experiences. For me, I vividly remember being 5 through about 8. What I remember from those years was magical; whether that magic came from the innocence of my youth, Disney, princesses, costumes, birthday parties, or playgrounds, everything felt like a fairy tale. I went to school, I ate dinner, I played with my sister, I went to the park, but it was all magical because of the lens I was looking out of, the lens of my seven-year-old self.
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Get notified of top trending articles like this one every week! (we won't spam you)Growing Awareness

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Around the age of nine, we start to become increasingly aware that there is a much bigger world out there. Many of us get phones, our older siblings or social media introduce us to the concept of Sephora, and we start to come into ourselves, realizing we have other kinds of crayons in life besides the ones we put on our papers. Charlotte Tilbury makes different kinds. Then, 12 hits, and you're in the thick of the pre-tween stage. You are starting to talk about different things with your friends. It's no longer butterflies and princesses or even Barbie and Liv and Maddie, but rather boys and TikTok, Stranger Things, and Riverdale. You are getting older. Maybe you played a sport? Maybe you were on a dance team up until this point? Now is when you realize things are getting serious, and by the age of 14, you have found things to "commit to." It could be your social life or your hobby of choice that you allot time for. Overall, you have become accustomed to this idea of community and belonging to something. You pick your clique, you "find your place" - you learn to fit in or lead. And that is middle school; you've graduated. Here, high school comes.

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Coming Back from Summer
Wow. High school hits, and you have completely come out of the youth of your younger years. Either you stayed the same, prepared a bit for high school, or fully embraced a "new year, new you." Whatever innocence middle school still allowed you to have is dwindling. You're now 14. You're big, you're bold, you "know everything."
The Crucial Ninth Grade

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But what happens next?
Ninth grade—the first year of high school—is really crucial. It's how you set yourself up for the next four years, or at least that is what everyone tells you. Figure it out, follow her, set yourself up so you can be like him. Get. Yourself. Situated. PROPERLY!
Make sure to choose the right friend group, keep up with the latest trends, look like this, smell like that, talk to him but not her, and be studious but not a nerd. Smile, but not too much; speak up but not loudly; be easygoing but stand up for yourself, or else you will get walked on.
There are so many rules that it's hard to keep track, so you start writing them down. You start keeping an internal notebook.
Losing Yourself
"Mom, I don't have time to hang out with my siblings anymore. It's not on the list."
"Remember how you used to like poetry? Well, there's no time for that anymore. You're not good enough to be great, so you can't put that on your college resume. Might as well focus on something else."
This is learning to lose yourself. Now you're sixteen, and it's the end of sophomore year. This upcoming summer, you're either going to hang out with your friend group or dread whatever you're doing (even if you like it) because it is not typical.
In your junior year, you had better be settled because you only have two more years left, but it's the beginning of the year, so you still have time.
Wait, how does everyone know exactly what APs to take?
I should probably just do the same ones.
Lather my schedule up with a bunch of things I don't even have an interest in because, well, that is what everyone else is doing!
And you dig yourself deeper and deeper into the vicious cycle.
"Honey!" your mom tells you, "You haven't written poetry in a long time." You tell her there's just not time.
Junior year continues, and why does everybody have something going for themselves?
Realizing What was Lost

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What was I doing while they were accomplishing their dreams?
What was I too busy with? I thought we were all worried about each other all the time.
I thought high school was all about plans and parties.
Why didn't I spend more time writing poetry? Maybe I could have gotten better.
That night, you take out your laptop and decide to write. You realize you forgot how.
So you decide to dance, but you can no longer remember the moves.
You stretch, but you lose your splits.
You call your siblings, but they are too busy for you.
You go to talk to your mom, but she doesn't get you because she doesn't know this new you anymore.
You try to journal, but you don't even know what to say because you haven't spent time getting to know yourself.
The Final Result
Your family is busy.
Your friends are busy.
You don't write.
You don't dance.
You don't run.
You don't do anything you like anymore.
But at least you have?..............
What?
An Instagram feed that was carefully crafted? A TikTok page with the perfect following and follower ratio? A resume of all the classes you got through but don't remember LEARNING?
You don't have any of it!
Congratulations.
You have successfully learned how to lose yourself!