We exist in a society that is fixated on perfection. We scroll through Instagram, looking at glass skin, small waists, perfect hair, and we're thinking, "Why don't I look like that?" Since we were young, we're told beauty is in rules: fair skin is more beautiful, straight hair is more beautiful, and thin is beautiful.

But who established those rules?

And why do we continue to adhere to them?

Image Credit: Tanishka Gupta from Self

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What We Grew Up With

A lot of us were instructed to sit, smile, and dress in a particular manner, not for comfort, but so that we could "look better." We were taught to conceal scars, compress our abdomens, whiten our skin, and straighten our curls.

We weren't instructed to be beautiful; we were instructed to pursue beauty. And along the way, we lost sight of ourselves and forgot that we were already enough.

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The Mirror Isn't Always Kind

Sometimes our own worst critic is the mirror. We zoom in on imperfections, certain that we're too much of one thing and not enough of another.

Image Credit: Tanishka Gupta From Self

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The Truth

Beauty is not one glance, body shape, or weight on a scale. It's confidence. Its softness.

It's your laugh.

It's the way your eyes light up when you speak of something you adore.

The back roll, you think, is awkward? Someone finds it precious.

The mole you hide? Someone appreciates it as your signature.

The dark circles you detest? Perhaps they're evidence that you're giving life your best.

"Someone loves everything you despise about yourself."

Image Credit: Tanishka Gupta From Self

Like a Ferris wheel, our confidence can go up and down—but it always comes back around

The Impact of Beauty Standards

To go from loving your face, skin, hair, body, to despising every inch of you, because of what you see and hear. These standards aren't just cruel — they're dangerous. They can lead to:

• Low self-esteem
• Eating disorders
• Body dysmorphia
• Endless comparison

Image Credit: Tanishka Gupta from Self

5. How to Resist the Pressure

Try an exercise that helped me a lot: It's as simple and hard as standing in front of the mirror and listing three things you like about yourself. It could be about yourself, physically, or something related to your personality. Change your focus from self-hate to self-love.

Change also comes from daily habits:

• Three things you are proud of daily in writing.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Unfollow those social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, and begin following real people who encourage good habits
• Surround yourself with people who motivate and inspire you. Sometimes a bit of a change of surroundings can do you the world of good.

Your Environment

• When friends impose beauty standards: You do not necessarily have to agree or remain quiet. Politely counteract it, "I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way," or distance yourself. Maintain your peace.
• When you’re struggling: You’re not alone. Find supportive spaces, body-positive accounts, inclusive school clubs, or online communities that share real journeys. And if it feels heavy, reach out to a counselor, trusted teacher, or friend. Sometimes just hearing “me too” makes the weight lighter.

My Story

I had always been confident in myself, or so I believed. Middle school dented that. I moved from not being bothered by what others thought about me to needing their approval constantly. My grades suffered, I learned all my 'friends' had been gossiping about me, I quit my sport, and I did nothing productive.

When I got to high school, I finally found my own friend group. Individuals who actually cared about me, who guided me through tough times. These were the individuals who taught me the healthy lifestyles I know and practice; they were also the same individuals who made me aware that I'm not alone.

So I write this today, knowing that there is someone somewhere who needs to read this. You are not alone. It will be easier.

I recall the first time I attempted to write three things I loved about myself, I did it a lot of times with difficulty. But with time, it became easier, and I discovered that I had much more to love than I had ever imagined.

Image Credit: Tanishka Gupta From Self

Just like sunsets, beauty isn’t one-size-fits-all — it’s unique every single time

A Better Way to See Beauty

It's time we redefine beauty. Beauty is:

• Kindness in a cruel world.
• Being yourself when you are asked to change.
• Being soft and strong simultaneously.

We need more representation — diverse bodies, skin tones, scars, curls, disabilities, freckles. We need less filters and more authenticity.

The next time you gaze into the mirror, don't look for your weaknesses. Look for what belongs to you. That wonky smile?

Yours. That boisterous laugh? Yours. The bits that won't belong in a "typical" are the exact bits that make you irreplaceable.

How to Help Others

Be yourself. Own what sets you apart and inspire others by showing up as yourself. In the celebration of authenticity, we create room for others to do the same.

You were not destined to be like everyone else. You were destined to be like you. And you are enough, exactly the way you are.

Conclusion

I have now reached the end of my article, and from everything I have written, I want you to take one thing away. In an age consumed with perfection, authenticity is the most gorgeous thing you can be. And you are enough—always have been, and always will be.