During a lesson with my music teacher, he once commented on a lyric by The Beatles that confused him: "Take a sad song and make it better." It implies that a sad song would be better if it were made happier, allocating superiority to happy songs. If this were true, then what exactly is the appeal of sad girl music and why do these artists experience growing popularity among teen listeners?

For a lot of people, happy songs simply don't hit the same way that sad songs do. Taking the back seat on a long car ride or the window seat on a long flight with fully charged airpods is a dream for thought daughters—a term coined by Gen Z teens. Whether you're a thought daughter or someone who enjoys sad music by shamelessly screaming the lyrics to their favorite songs, the cliché truth is that you love to feel the weight of your emotions. The question now is whether you're addicted to the pain or the help.

Though the common term "thought daughter" erroneously implies that girls are often more emotional than guys, all teens experience the same phase of life in a mental whiplash-inducing environment. For many, the appeal for sad songs is the relatability aspect. The teenage years often mark many of our "firsts" and it feels validating to listen to other people put those feelings into words.

Academic Challenges

Entering high school is a big step to take coming straight from elementary and middle school that is often underestimated. Not only are you entering a much larger environment, but the classes are much more academically challenging and dealing with the stress can feel overwhelming. The song this is me trying by Taylor Swift sums up how it feels to try your best and still not get the results you wanted—an ordinary occurrence that is nonetheless dejecting.

"I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere/Fell behind all my classmates, and I ended up here"

"I just wanted you to know/That this is me trying"

- Taylor Swift, this is me trying

Image Credit: Henriques from Unsplash

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Teen Drama

Balancing a social life with academics, extracurriculars, and familial pressures can feel suffocating and often leads to unwanted drama within or across friend groups. It serves as an extra invisible weight to carry and can take away from the ability to focus on other responsibilities. The song brutal by Olivia Rodrigo encapsulates the illusion of the "golden years" and the dark side of being a teenager.

"I'm so insecure, I think/That I'll die before I drink/And I'm so caught up in the news/Of who likes me, and who hates you"

"All I did was try my best/This the kind of thanks I get?"

"They say these are the golden years/But I wish I could disappear/Ego crush is so severe/God, it's brutal out here"

- Olivia Rodrigo, brutal

The song because i liked a boy by Sabrina Carpenter is about being assigned a false negative reputation.

"Tell me who I am, guess I don't have a choice/All because I liked a boy"

"I'm a hot topic on your tongue/I'm a rebound getting round, stealing from the young"

- Sabrina Carpenter, because i liked a boy

People Pleasing

It's a struggle to feel like you always have to please everyone in your life. This feeling can come from the familial pressures to be the perfect role model or even from trying to fit in with a clique at school. The song mirrorball by Taylor Swift (again) depicts a person who is constantly breaking themself apart trying to imitate or impress other people in order to gain their attention.

"I can change everything about me to fit in"

"You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes/Spinnin' in my highest heels, love/Shining just for you"

"I'm still on that trapeze/I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me"

- Taylor Swift, mirrorball

Image Credit: Pixabay from Pexels

Heartbreaks

Whether it be a broken relationship with a partner, friend, family member, or even yourself, most people experience their first heartbreak as a teenager. This is an extremely difficult experience to navigate, making for a common topic for sad music artists to write about. The song Oceans & Engines by NIKI encapsulates the pain endured from a break up with a partner.

"I guess this is where we say goodbye/I know I'll be alright/Someday I'll be fine/But just not tonight"

"Now what do you do when your pillar crumbled down/You've lost all solid ground/Both dreams and demons drowned/And this void's all you've found/And doubts light it aglow?"

"I'm letting go/This is the last falsetto/I'll ever sing to you/My great lost love"

- NIKI, Oceans & Engines

The song Two people by Gracie Abrams, though it could be interpreted as being about an ex or a friend, is about drifting apart from someone who at one point, played a significant role in your life.

"Why's it feel like you don't even know me?/How are you looking at me like a stranger?"

"Don't know what to say/Two people can change/Don't think we're above/Might happen to us"

- Gracie Abrams, Two People

The song At Your Worst by Madison Beer was written about her heartbreak caused by her dad and exemplifies a toxic relationship with a family member.

""But I hope I never hate myself/The way I know you hate yourself"

"But it's no excuse for all the times/You broke my heart and made me cry"

"It hurts to see you hurt/The ones who love you at your worst"

- Madison Beer, At Your Worst

Finally, the song What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish is about contemplating a lost sense of purpose within yourself.

"I used to float, now I just fall down/I used to know, but I'm not sure now/What I was made for"

"Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real/Just something you paid for"

"I don't know how to feel/But I wanna try"

- Billie Eilish, What Was I Made For?

Image Credit: Samkov from Pexels

Miscellaneous

Being a teenager comes with emotions that don't all fit under one category. Here are a couple honorable mentions for songs/lyrics that best describe the teenage years.

"And I see everyone getting all the things I want/And I'm happy for them, but then again I'm not"

"I'm so sick of myself/I'd rather be, rather be/Anyone, anyone else"

"I wanna be you so bad and I don't even know you"

- Olivia Rodrigo, jealousy, jealousy

"I have emotional motion sickness/Somebody roll the windows down"

"I can hardly feel anything, I hardly feel anything at all"

- Phoebe Bridgers, Motion Sickness

"I thought you were the one/But it was all in my head"

"I saw your potential without seeing credentials"

"When you broke my heart, I said you only wanted half of me"

- Ariana Grande, in my head

Image Credit: Nair from Pexels

Empowering or Just Sad?

Sad music allows teens to fully feel our emotions in order to better understand them and it feels validating to hear how our experiences can be put into words. Though it might hurt more to actually relate to the lyrics of a sad song, it's enough to feel empathy for the singer and what they're going through even if we haven't had that same experience ourselves.

At least for me, it feels therapeutic to go to concerts and scream my heart out to songs that I can relate to. I am empowered by my ability to recognize my own emotions and have autonomy over the way that it makes me feel. Even just sitting alone with my thoughts and listening to sad lyrics helps me to process what's been on my mind. I often find that I feel better after letting my emotions run wild.

To return to the lyric by The Beatles, I disagree that happier songs have superiority over sad songs. While happy songs can be motivating and uplifting, sad songs are empowering in their own way.