“You’ll End Up Alone With Cats.”

This sentence, I am sure you have heard it at least once in your life. And this is just a small example among many others!

We are influenced from childhood. Marriage is seen as a goal, not as a proof of love!

But why is that?

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Influenced from Childhood

From early childhood, we are subtly or sometimes unconsciously taught that marriage is an objective. Girls grow up with fairy tales where happiness begins with a wedding: Cinderella finds her prince, Snow White marries her savior, and every story ends with “they lived happily ever after and had many children.”

As if having children and being married were the only sources of happiness.

Years later, romantic comedies, advertisements, and even family conversations continue to push us toward the same idea: “I have to get married — that’s just normal.”

Unfortunately, marriage is often more of a social and religious institution than a real proof of love.

“As a woman, there's no way for me to make my own money. Not enough to earn a living, or to support my family. And if I had my own money, which I don't, that money would belong to my husband the moment we got married.”— Amy March, Little Women

The Historical Role

Before, marriage was primarily a contract between families rather than a proof of love. It served for political alliances or to reconcile families in conflict.

For instance, in ancient Greece, marriage mainly served to ensure legitimate heirs. In the Middle Ages, marriages were very often arranged, and in many European countries (up until the 19th century), married women could not sign legal documents without their husband's permission.

Religion also played a major role. Marriage became a sacred institution, intended to maintain moral order and social stability.

Marriage also functioned as a form of social control. Traditionally, a woman was expected to have children, take care of the house, and obey her husband. Marriage guaranteed that social and family norms were respected — once again limiting women’s independence.

And it could be a real source of stress.

“If the main character’s a girl, make sure she’s married by the end… or dead.”— Mr. Dashwood, Little Women

This line perfectly summarizes the mindset of past centuries: a woman could not simply exist freely in society or even in fiction, she had to belong to someone or face tragedy.

Is Marriage Really the Ultimate Goal for Women?

Absolutely not. Social expectations, family pressure, etc. reduce a woman to a single thing: marriage. Yet, being married does not solve life’s challenges and does not guarantee happiness.

A study conducted by the Pew Research Center in 2020 found that 54% of Americans believe that marriage is important, but not essential, for a fulfilling life. Only 17% consider marriage essential for a fulfilling life for women, and 16% for men.

Women are encouraged to marry to conform to traditions, not because their life will be better.

Pressure Still Present

Even today, many women still feel pressure. Families, the media, and traditions continue to present marriage as an essential stage of life. Fairy tales, romantic movies, and advertisements further reinforce the idea that 'true happiness' is necessarily linked to marriage.

A study by the Pew Research Center shows that around 26% of unmarried people in relationships feel pressure from society to get married, and 26% feel pressure from their family. A smaller proportion, 17%, feel pressure from their partner.

There’s also a clear double standard: when a man is single, he’s seen as independent or free; but when a woman is single, she’s viewed as incomplete or even sad.

At my own family dinners, the difference is obvious. I’m always asked, “So, do you have a boyfriend?” while my brother gets asked, “How are your classes going?” That small detail says a lot about what society expects from us.

Still, things are changing.

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Changing Mindsets

Fortunately, mindsets are evolving. Some women decide never to get married, and that does not define their success, their worth, or their happiness. Happiness can come from many other things. It does not need to be accompanied by a wedding dress.

As writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once said:

“We teach girls to aspire to marriage, but we don’t teach them to aspire to self-fulfillment.”

Conclusion

Marriage can be wonderful, but only when it is freely chosen. And personally, I believe that the true goal should be to build a life you are proud of, whether it includes marriage or not. A woman is not obligated to get married; it is her right.