A post of two drinks on a café table. A sweatshirt sleeve in a mirror selfie. A shared BeReal with someone cropped halfway out… It’s not quite a secret, not quite an announcement, but it’s a “soft launch.” This is how our generation goes public.

We reveal affection through angles and hints carefully edited for public consumption. Our relationships are increasingly shaped by how they will be perceived online rather than by private feelings.

The performance becomes the relationship itself, and we start to confuse perception with connection. Then, is it really necessary to “launch” at all?

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How Our Parents Do It

The older generations typically reveal their relationships through their actions. They meet parents, hold hands in public, and wear a ring. But for us, we are sharing a playlist, tagging stories, and commenting on each other’s posts.

The concept of being together nowadays means being together online. Since voice and image can be shared with people we are close with without getting out of bed, we rely more on the internet. While the warmth from a hug can still be transferred, physical proximity matters less and less.

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How We Are Doing It

When we start a relationship, we choose not to say, “I’m taken” or “I am seeing someone.” Instead, we curate it: spending thirty minutes choosing between filters. Last year, I watched a friend cycle through her album just to find the one that perfectly half-shadows her face. Like influencers curating their online media, we have become our own publicists.

However, when we crop the face out of the picture, we convey a sense of mystery and privacy, yet we also tell people we want “privacy.” Although soft launch allows us to control the lighting, the amount of information, and the timing, the very process also exposes our anxiety about being perceived.

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Deciphering Soft Launch

Perhaps the soft launch signals a different brand of honesty. Since we are aware that the world is always watching, we understand that posts last, comments can be found, and the end of relationships leaves digital footprints. What if…I didn’t eventually marry them? So, we share a measured form of truth, one that’s not the complete narrative, but a version that feels secure to ourselves that can be used as part of an excuse.

It almost seems like the more people think that it’s a great couple, the stronger the relationship is, and the more confident we would feel to hold our counterpart’s hand. But maybe we care too much about what others perceive us and too little about ourselves.

When we can literally point at other people’s lives a thousand miles away, we receive an overwhelming amount of external thoughts from people that we don’t have time to even process the validity of. The incredible amount of self-consciousness we build from social media blurs the relationship we are building and distracts us from caring for our counterpart in the relationship.

The soft launch doesn’t stop with relationships. We are dealing with how to seem confident without trying too hard and how to share without oversharing. We are guarding that “selves” we built for the audiences around us, but never left space to express the original self. When we are being confident on the outside, we should pause to ask whether we are wearing a mask of confidence or whether we are truly grounded in what we are doing.

At school, where image matters to us at any second, how we raise our hands in class, how we talk to teachers, and how we use forks during lunch. The sense of “aura,” where we are perceived as strong and smart in others’ eyes, controls our daily habits and influences our brain to maintain all our movements in every room.

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The Solution

In the end, we can reframe our anxiety into action. Think of it this way: no relationship, post or private, comes with guarantees. When we are putting ourselves out in the world, we know that there are a million factors that can ruin the bond.

The question isn’t whether it will last forever; it’s whether we are experiencing it fully now and caring for ourselves. It’s normal to go through people, to go through moments, and still come out whole. Letting yourself live through the imperfect relationships and posts is far more meaningful than curating a perfect illusion.

Now, let’s flip the camera and look into ourselves: What are we trying to get out of it? Isn’t the most valuable part in the post the new relationship we just got into? At high schools, where every accomplishment and emotion seems ready for the next post, the bravest thing we can do is to care for something or someone. Holding a moment in your hands and choosing not to take the picture creates a story that automatically filters others' comments.