Friendship dynamics are not what they used to be. It's normal to go weeks without seeing a friend in person, but rather talking to them online. You may think that you truly know your online friend, but you end up missing all the aspects of friendship that make it extra special.

When your sole method of communication is texting, miscommunication and a lack of vulnerability can cause major issues in your friendship. In this article we’ll explore the changes that the digital age poses for friendship.

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Why’d You Leave Me On Read!?!?

Online friendships thrive on constant messaging. But what happens when either you or your friend fails to reply? Maybe you’re distracted because you remembered that you had to pack for your upcoming trip and forgot what you were just doing.

When this forgetfulness to reply becomes consistent, the other person may start to imagine all sorts of reasons for why your message was never sent. Trust begins to decline and the friendship deteriorates as the messages take more and more time to send.

Of course we all have our different ways of texting. Maybe you’re the type that does better in face to face conversations, and would rather never have to text anyone. But the person that you are trying to be friends with might be the opposite, and would get the wrong message from your silence.

Personally, I had a friend who constantly sent me dry responses after long periods of time. We never saw each other, so really the only way we communicated was through text. So, this change in her texting style was new and confusing.

I came up with all types of reasons for why this was happening. She’s trying to push me away. She’s annoyed with me. Etc. This eventually became unbearable, so we stopped talking altogether.

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The Way You View Your Online Friend is Wrong

Although online friendships are beneficial, they don’t give us everything we need. That body language and eye contact is out of the picture when all you do is text or call. So, even though online friendships provide some extra texture to our social lives, they might not leave you feeling as satisfied when the conversation ends as an irl hangout might.

Social cues are also slightly harder to understand when these physical factors are unavailable. This causes us to not know the individual that well. We may know their beliefs on certain things and their taste in memes and GIFs, but everything else remains a mystery.

When I first saw my childhood friend after years of online communication, there were so many things about her that I had forgotten about that completely altered my perception of her. The way she sat, her style, and her silhouette were not what I had pictured while we texted.

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On Another Plane of Existence ATM

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who just can’t stop texting? If you have, then you know how exhausting it is to pretend to be enthusiastic when the other person seems to be in another dimension.

Making friends at school has become a more scary process, in my opinion. Your peers seem to constantly be on their phones: while waiting to get inside of the classroom, sitting at the lunch table, or while the teacher is out and the sub has said nothing to the class for the whole period. I know that when I was a freshman coming out of a middle school that did not allow phones, I was shocked by the excessive phone use.

I felt that I had to use my phone more to fit in. Or else I’d be people watching all day, and I don’t think anybody would love that.

As a result, it was hard to make friends that first year because wherever I looked, a potential bestie was on her phone texting someone else.

I believe that if we used phones less, we would talk more, and even those quiet kids in the back of the class would have vibrant social lives.

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Conclusion

Let’s sum it all up: online communication can lead to ambiguity and the eventual downfall of the friendship. The lack of vulnerability, and at times, direct communication are all negative aspects of texting that can deeply change a friendship. Additionally, constant texting can stop you from taking in the world in front of you, and overall making you look like a phone addict.

In the end, in-person communication is key to a healthy relationship.