Today, I will be talking about "The Compliment Crisis" that everyone wants answers to. Why do teens crave validation? Hard topic, maybe, but I'm here to break it down as well.
Not only will I be talking about the why, but I will also be talking about the how. How to give that validation to yourself.
Let's dive in!
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Get notified of top trending articles like this one every week! (we won't spam you)The Why:
Validation is something everyone wants. Some may crave it; some may just want it. Validation can be many things, but acceptance is the main point of validation.
For instance, a girl goes to a new school, she's there for about 4 hours, making friends, going to her classes, doing the ordinary things you do at school. She notices that there is a "cool group," like every other school. But when she introduces herself, they don't seem very fond of her. So, in gym class, say she makes a rude comment to another student to impress the "cool group," they are impressed and want her to join them.
This is a good example of craving acceptance, which is validation. She wanted their validation/acceptance so much that she was willing to be rude to others. She did something that she knew was rude, which was not okay to make friends with the "cool group." The why could be many things; teens do things for many reasons, and mostly for stupid, stupid reasons.
No one really knows the why, but in this case? She wanted to fit in with a crowd that wasn't meant for her, and in the end, ended up doing something completely out of the ordinary!
For some teens, the why is instinct. Because they have done it so much that they are used to it, they do it daily. Not only was this girl disrespectful to her peers, but it was also toxic. So, it's best to know how to let go of it and move on.
Image Credit: Patrick Perkins from Unsplash
Let's get into the how!
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The How:
Now, validation could be many things. Validation could be wanting a compliment from someone, or, like I said before, wanting acceptance from others.
In this section, I will be talking about how to stop craving that validation and start becoming something better. Not only better, but also how to get others to crave your validation!
Validation is very, very real! But there isn't really a way to stop wanting that validation. People could say that they stopped wanting validation from others, but deep down, you always will. But here's how to stop craving validation and give it to yourself!
1) Be That Girl/Guy
Now that may sound cringe, weird, or complicated, but I'll break it down a little bit. You may hear young adults or some teenagers in school say, "I'm him" or "I'm her," or "I know exactly who I am." Now, this is a good mindset to have; a lot of people who say this don't crave validation. Instead, they are a leader.
A leader, in this case, is attracting validation from others. They are the type of person everyone wants to hang around. I'm not saying you must be cool and popular, but I'm saying a little reminder every day gives you a little more confidence each and every day. And that's where we head to the next number!
2) Have Confidence
Having a little bit of confidence can do a lot! And when I say this, I mean coming out of your shell a bit. A lot of teens are insecure about something.
Being insecure is okay! But making it your whole personality can be a bit much. And one way to get rid of that insecurity and gain confidence? Do something that would better your insecurity! Like, if you want to work out, do a little 5 min workout every day. Or if you want clearer skin, try a tutorial. It's the little things that matter, and they work with insecurity.
Gaining confidence can be very hard, but trying is always an option. And it's the key to letting go of that craving for validation and turning it into something more. Many crave validation because they may be insecure.
Again, validation isn't always about wanting acceptance. It can be many things. When you have confidence, you forget about what others think, and you don't care about their opinions. Leading you to learn how to give yourself your own validation!
3) It's Okay!
It's okay to have your own feelings. It's okay to have your own opinions. You're never going to fully know how to conquer that validation.
There isn't really a way to stop wanting validation; everyone wants at least a tiny bit of validation. Could be wanting someone to like your post on Instagram or wanting someone to comment on your outfit. Validation is always there.
4) Be Your Own Parent
Give yourself the love that you want. Give yourself the support that you need. Give yourself those compliments.
You don't need someone else to tell you that you look good. You don't need someone else to tell you that you write amazingly. You don't need anyone but yourself!
5) Focus On Your Growth
Be on your own, focus on yourself, and train yourself. Because no one, absolutely no one, will do it for you. No one will help you more than you can.
No one will be better to you than you will. That's really the key! Be your own parent! Do what's best for you! It's not easy, but that's how it works.
6) Understand Yourself
Without understanding yourself, you are lost. You must understand yourself to understand what you want. No one truly knows what they want, but you also do.
That's complicated, and no one can really explain it. But understanding yourself helps give yourself your own validation much more easily.
Now, these are just my opinions from my own experiences. If you disagree with me, feel free to tell me about it in the comments! The why?
Could mean many things. The how? Letting loose and being you! That's all it really is. But it takes so much work!
I believe in you!
