Childhood. Filled with memories of playing with friends and sippy cups. At least partially, anyway.
For me, it's also filled with recollections of crying, and then losing the ability to after around ten. For me, it's remembering the time my mother gaslit me into thinking I'm dumb because I didn't know how to pay a bill at eleven. For me, it was the time when I passed all my exams and nobody cared. And I'm sure it's not just me.
The media loves to plaster these stories across TV screens and TikTok, with shows like Shameless and Euphoria spinning the dysfunction into drama and romanticising the realities of many. Truth is, when you're living it, life isn't as entertaining. It's not about dramatic monologues to your dad or soliloquies to your camera; it's about the times you feel guilty for wanting to leave and when you want to cry but can't, for a variety of reasons.
It's just empty. Or lonely.
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Real life isn't shouting at your mother like Fiona Gallagher, asking her why she wasn't around when you needed her s a child, and pushing her away when you're older, or like Rue in Euphoria screaming at her mom and slamming doors. Real life is conflicted emotions, one part of you wanting to run away and feeling like your parents deserve a life without you, and another part feeling guilty about what they would do if you left- the same way in Ginny & Georgia, Ginny spirals into self-harm and isolation instead of directly confronting Georgia.
Portraying toxic households as glamorous isn't okay, but the media doesn't seem to get that. Instead, it continues to make TV shows and movies in which the protagonist runs away from home at 15 or something equally as unrealistic. Let's be real, only a small handful of us could do that. The real harm lies in how these shows intentionally romanticise toxicity at home, dressing up emotional abuse as "tough love" or justifying dysfunction as "relatable." It can blur the line between love and harm, especially for younger viewers, and confuse people as to what a healthy relationship actually looks like, sending the message that suffering is a part of family life.
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Another thing the media gets wrong is our feelings towards our parents. As I mentioned before, most of the time people are conflicted. Torn between love and hate, respect and disrespect, fear and indifference. I'll be the first to admit my parents aren't amazing; they literally started my lifelong hatred for hot chocolate, but I still love them.
Yet TV likes to make jokes out of this, as seen in FRIENDS, where Monica's parents criticise her relentlessly; it's often portrayed as a joke. My mom carried me around for nine months, and my dad worked so hard to provide for us, not in a patriarchal way; my mom also worked, but now she's a housewife. As much as they've hurt me, they're my parents at the end of the day, and I'll always forgive them, however long it takes. And so did Monica.
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It isn't easy, and I'm saying this as a very pragmatic person, but things do get better. Sometimes it looks like walking away for a while. Sometimes it looks like staying and trying again.
And both are okay. Everyone's circumstances are different. All I can say for certain is, it takes time, energy, and a lot of patience. As well as some tears. But it's worth every single minute of it and teaches you a lot. That's the scene that deserves more screen time.
