Learn to Love Better: Which Love Language Do You Speak?

Relationships

Love languages: what exactly are they? A love language expresses how we receive love from others. The 5 love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Learning your love language and the ones of those around you can help you create stronger and deeper relationships.

Words of Affirmation

When it comes to words, you have to be very mindful of what you say, especially when you're around someone with this love language. Words will really mean a lot to them, maybe even more than your actions. People with this love language enjoy compliments because it makes them feel loved. On the other hand, receiving insults and negative comments makes them feel hurt, and it may take them more time and effort to get over it.

How to show it:

  1. Show appreciation

  2. Affirm them with compliments

  3. Be genuine and creative with your words

  4. Listen actively

Examples:

Your outfit looks great.

I love you so much.

You look so pretty today.

I am so grateful for having you in my life.

You inspire me.

Physical Touch

Physical touch from the people they love is very important to those with this love language. It helps them feel more connected with the person. They love hugs, kisses, holding hands, and more. Physically demonstrating your love to this person is important; if you don't do this, they may feel lonely or unloved.

How to show it:

  1. Use your body language and touch to express your love

Examples:

  • Surprise them with a hug from behind

  • Sit close to the person

  • Cuddle while watching tv

  • Hold their hand

  • Give them a massage after a long day

Quality Time

Undivided attention is very important to those with this love language. They love to know that those around them listen to them, show interest in what they're saying, and understand how they're feeling. Any activity is great, as long as you dedicate that time to them with no distractions.

How to show it:

  1. Spend uninterrupted time together

  2. Focus all your attention on the person

Examples:

  • Go for a hike

  • Plan a road trip/weekend getaway

  • Watch your favorite movie together

  • Leave your phones behind and talk about meaningful topics

Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words. People with this love language prefer to be shown that they're loved through actions rather than words. They really appreciate it when people go out of their way to make their life easier. Little things like making them coffee, putting away the laundry, or taking the dog on a walk means a lot.

How to show it:

  1. Use action phrases

  2. Do things without asking

Examples:

Let me do that for you

Today, I did... for you

I've got you covered

  • Make them breakfast in bed

  • Help them with a project they're working on

Receiving Gifts

People tend to assume this love language is materialistic, but that's not true. People with this love language feel loved and appreciated when they receive meaningful and thoughtful gifts. The thoughtfulness of a gift means more than its dollar value. They usually take birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays very seriously.

How to show it:

  1. Put effort and thought into your gifts

Examples:

  • Buy them a book they've been wanting to get

  • Pick up their favorite treat at the store

  • Create a homemade gift

  • Gift them your time and attention

Everyone portrays and evaluates love in their own way. Knowing your love language is a great tool to help you communicate your emotional needs to those around you. If you're still unsure of what your love language is, you can take this quiz to help you find out!

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Cristina B
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Cristina is a high school student. Besides writing, she enjoys music, reading, and traveling.