You're scrolling through Instagram, and this handsome guy or beautiful girl catches your attention. You click on their profile and can't help but develop a crush that leads to you cyberstalking this person for a week, hiding your feelings behind likes and comments.
You eventually work up the courage to shoot your shot by sliding into their DMs. But, there's one problem. You don't know what to say and end up sending 'hey' with a smiley face emoji.
Sliding into someone's DMs with a simple 'hey' isn't only overrated and boring, but it rarely ever catches someone's attention.
But what should one say in order not to sound embarrassing or cringe?
Sliding into someone's DMs is undoubtedly a terrifying task, especially if they are a total stranger, as you have this fear of embarrassing yourself and ruining their image of you. This fear could lead to you not knowing what to say when initiating a conversation with them for the first time. What is the best way to start the conversation? Will they think you're strange or creepy? (Answer: most likely not.)
Starting a conversation on social media is a quick and easy way to meet new people. It also saves you the embarrassment of tripping over your words in front of your crush. So, if you've wanted to DM someone for a long time but don't know how here's: how to slide into someone's DMs.
1. Touch Up Your Socials
First things first, your profile. This is the first thing someone looks at once they receive a DM from you. When you're about to send someone a DM, make sure you have a solid profile picture and a few excellent photos at the top of your grid.
If you really want to make an impression, dress up in your baddest outfit and have a mini photoshoot for your Instagram.
P.S. Take a look at your tagged photos. That's where all the truly embarrassing ones hide, and where most people look first.
2. Follow them
So once you've touched up your profile, the next step is to follow your bae-to-be. If the person you're interested in doesn't follow you back, the chances of them replying to your DM are slim to none. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. You can still slide, but then the weird factor increases. And the last thing you would want to portray yourself as is creepy, right?
3. Play the numbers
Once you've followed that person, glance at their follower numbers. If they are in the 500K-3M range, then you:
- Better be a famous influencer or a celebrity of sorts.
- Met them somewhere, and you guys vibed.
- Have a mutual friend.
I say this because you're probably 1 in 10 0000 people who slide into their DMs and, they most likely don't go through every DM in their inbox. But, if they have a few thousand followers, you stand a better chance.
The next thing to check is their follower ratios. Do they have more followers of their preferential gender or not? If the followers are a bit unbalanced, that's okay. There's nothing to stress about (yet).
Once you've seen their followers list, look at the people THEY follow, and if there is a distinct preferential gender, RUN! There is no way they're all friends helping each other grow on Instagram, trust me. The chances of your crush being a player are high, so recognize the red flag and walk away.
4. Use A Pick-Up Line
When it comes to pick-up lines, the norm is for men to use them on women. It isn't normalized for women to use them on guys, or even for guys to use them on guys!
A pick-up line is an icebreaker/conversation starter used to entice someone into romance or dating. Pick-up lines can range from sweet corny lines to Will Smith's raunchy pick-up lines from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
If you're a bit shy, I would suggest using a dorky sweet line such as:
- Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
- I hope you know CPR. Cause you just took my breath away.
- Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
- I know someone madly in love with you. If I was not shy, I'd tell you.
- Are you an angle that's less than 90 degrees? Because you're acute-y.
- Random person #67 sliding into your DMs. How's your week going on a scale from waking up and finding your phone hasn't charged to both sides of your pillow being cold?
And if you're brave enough to use a few raunchy pick-up lines on your crush, go for it! It can be a fun way to show off your fearless personality, and these lines are sure to attract your future lover's attention since they're bold and risque.
A few pick-up lines include:
- No clue if we’d get along, but I just had to slide because (something that you loved about their profile)
- You look really familiar. Have we met? Oh, I'm sorry, I guess it's because you look like my next significant other.
- What should I wear on our date tomorrow?
- My parents always said I should follow my dreams. That's why I started following you on Instagram.
PS: Recently, Tiktok has been exploding with videos of people trying out smooth pick-up lines (and them working out). So if you need more inspiration, check those out!
5. Reply To Their Story
This works better if the two of you are already following each other. You wait until they post a story that you can relate to in a way — a song you like, a bar he's /she's at you've been to before, a question or poll — and use it as a starting point for a conversation. We tend to be attracted to people who share our interests therefore you are guaranteed a response.
So let's say they posted a screenshot of J Cole's latest album, The Off-Season. This screenshot allows you to swipe up and reply with: " If I'm being honest, I preferred Born Sinner (or any other album)."
This comment will lead to one of these two instances: you either get into a heated debate on why The Off-Season was way better/worse, or they agree with you. But either way, you've caught their attention.
6. Take Note of Their Interests
Whether the person you're into likes Billie Eilish, hiking, or art, all you have to do is bring up their passions, and you are bound to get the conversation rolling.
Exhibit A: you're into a guy named Connor. You've cyber stalked his Insta account and noticed it is popping with pictures of cute puppies and sandy beaches. Boom! You've just landed yourself a one-way ticket to Connor's heart and found an interest to work with.
Exhibit B: You're into a girl named Leah who is into art and reading novels at coffee shops. Whether you slide into her DMs asking for a book/coffee spot recommendation, you are guaranteed an answer to your DM because you made an effort to ask a question that relates to something she likes.
7. Compliment them
Nobody can resist a compliment, and this is scientifically proven. When you praise someone, there is a surge of dopamine which causes that person to feel good. Perhaps the person you're crushing on is good at painting, or their piano playing is just perfection. So give their ego a stroke and compliment them.
Another tip is that people respond better to genuine compliments rather than an empty "you're hot" comment, so try to steer away from remarks related to appearance. For the most part, our looks are because of genetics; we didn't put in much effort to achieve them. However, practicing an instrument for three hours a day is no easy feat and is something to be proud of and appreciate!
8. Be Direct
As they say, the best way to rip off a band-aid is quickly. So, once you've caught your potential lover's interest, be upfront with them. Tell them you think they're hot, but don't put too much pressure on them to reciprocate. They'll let you know if they're feeling it!
You should not expect failure, but you also shouldn't expect the best-case scenario. So, if it doesn't work out, you won't be too disappointed, but you'll also be pleasantly surprised if it does. All that matters is that you take the leap of faith!
I hope you enjoyed this article and happy sliding!