Talk to yourself like someone you love. - Brene Brown
You ask other people how they are, if they’re doing okay or not, but have you once asked that question to yourself? You are the one person who's there with you 24/7, and still, you forget to check in on the one person who should matter the most to yourself—YOU!
I get it, in this fast-paced world, it is quite easy to forget taking care of yourself. Balancing work/studies, family and social life along with trying to grow yourself is hard. But, what if I told you just simply putting aside 20-30 minutes for yourself, will change the way you look at life, and most importantly, the way you see yourself?
And please, do not tell me that you do not have enough time. You make time for things that matter to you, don't you? So, how difficult is it to carve out half an hour for yourself, when you give your precious hours to everyone else except you? When you are what matters the most? Set aside some minutes for yourself, and trust me, you'll feel the shift. Get to know yourself better, before it is too late.
Just open your heart, spill out all the questions you want to ask yourself, and sit in solitude. Moreover, you do not necessarily need a journal, you can even put these down in your notes app, or just reflect mentally sitting in the quiet. With that being said, the idea of having a journal for this purpose would be awesome, since a journal will record how you've been doing over a track of time, and how you've developed and evolved in the process.
Here are some to get you started:
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Get notified of top trending articles like this one every week! (we won't spam you)Knowing How You Truly Feel, & Learning to Release
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Self-Check-in : What is really going on with me?
This is a simple but powerful check-in you can make with yourself. In other words, this sums up how you're really feeling, and being true to yourself, beneath all the denial and suppressions you impose on the real you, on your truest feelings all day.
Eventually, the way you truly feel is going to leak out in some way or the other, and this may be in ways such as getting annoyed on innocent people who've done nothing, zoning out, getting anxiety—why not release it all out on a paper, or just contemplate on this fact, accept it, and know that this too shall pass.
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Identifying Your Energy-Drainers
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Self-check-in : What/Who is draining my energy, how is it being drained, and why am I still encouraging it/them?
Think of your energy as a battery. Now try to identify: Who are the people or what are things that are pulling your energy away from you? That leave you unfulfilled and drained both emotionally and mentally?
Is it endless hours of scrolling? That one colleague or classmate?
Distance yourself from them. If you find it hard to, remember that the last thing you were born for was to please others. Not everyone should get to use your battery.
You cannot fill someone else's cup when your own is empty. Try filling yours first, then the others.
Making Gratitude Lists
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Self-check-in: What are three things I’m grateful for today?
Expressing gratitude is like being gracious for all the good things in life. Focusing on what went well too, will make you see the positive aspects of life, and will open your eyes to how privileged you actually are. It could be literally anything—your favourite novel, family or even Netflix!
You see, when you are thankful for even the smallest of things, it shifts you from a position of lack to a place of abundance. Literally, your mindset changes drastically. When I started jotting down things I am grateful for, the things that manifested in my life are crazy!
This isn't just motivational fluff, because expressing gratitude actually releases neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which are the mood lifters of our body. Moreover, it makes neural pathways, which strengthen over time, and increase the likelihood of the event we're thinking about to manifest into our lives.
Expressing The Parts of You That Are Hidden
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Self-Check-in: What parts of me have I been neglecting lately?
We often try to be more productive. Strive so hard for our goals, our ambitions. Maybe you're regretting taking a break, or hiding your creativity to people-please.
Use this as a reminder to just, let yourself live. Don't keep those parts of yourself in the dark. They're what makes each of us unique; or else we'd all just be overworking robots.
It's like forgetting what makes you, you. But don't worry, because these parts of ourselves never ever leave our side. Think of what you've been pushing aside, because of "obligations". It might be that little hobby of sketching you had, or dancing like no one's watching.
Future self’s pride, or regret?
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Self-Check-in: What would my future self appreciate/condemn me for my actions today?
Imagine yourself five years later. Reflect on your day, and what you've done. Would your future self be disapproving of it, or would they be thankful you did those things?
Would they be criticising you, five years later, for scrolling away, when you had so much potential in you? Or would they be happy and relieved that, perhaps, you didn't give in to the temptations?
The small acts add up, defining your destiny.
Reassuring Yourself
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Self-check-in: What is something I need to be told by someone else?
The one thing you need to be told by someone else is--is the thing you want to hear the most from yourself. Humans crave connection, yes, but if others aren't available for you, affirm it yourself. Validating yourself may feel awkward at first, yes, but the more you do it, the stronger it gets.
They may even fill the void inside. So, say the words you want to hear right now, like you mean it.
The inner child starts to heal, the present self gets its consolation, and the future self is looking back, and smiling.
Conclusion
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At the end of the day, the one person who remains with you throughout, is you and you alone. Some days, the answers to these questions might come to you in a flash of a second, and on the others, they might not. That's okay.
Daily self-check-in questions aren't meant to make you seem perfect, or put-together. Their true purpose is that, you start being more honest with yourself, get clear on what your mental bandwidth is, know when you're exhausted, and need a break. Checking in on yourself is a way of expressing self-love, and knowing the fact that you're worth showing up for.
