“I am convinced that most people do not grow up...We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.”― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
After a daunting, incessant journey of experiencing changes in the body during puberty, heartbreaks and excruciating infatuations and sitting in the midst of a whirlwind of fear for the future, the clock strikes at midnight, and you're suddenly 17.
The peak of adolescence, the golden age, the coming of age.
With seventeen comes a whole starter pack (the type you'd see on tumblr), the final year at high school, times of rebellion, looking for colleges, pressure and stress, building new strings of friendship while breaking others, finding (or losing) love, the purity of being so close to adulthood, yet far enough and much more, depending on who you'd ask.
At 17, there's other kids changing the world, some reaching heights you didn't even know were possible to achieve. Some are planning out the trajectory of the next 25 years of their lives, finding their place in the world, fitting into the complex jig-saw puzzle with frustrating ease. On the flip side, there are many who don't know where to go, what to do, what the future means for them, and how to reach goals set out for them. That's scary.
But that's truly the beauty of it all. Of course, knowing the world and all its consequences is crucial, but sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Being confused, enraged, emotional, and rebellious runs parallel to being 17. There's a tragic comfort in knowing that no one ever goes through the same circumstance, however, so many of us can relate to each other's inner turmoil.
There's a reason so many songs, movies, and media center themselves around a lost, disarranged 17-year-old.
A cult-classic character who embodies the rage and confusion of this age, Lady Bird McPherson from Lady Bird (2017), struggles to navigate turbulent relationships and comes to maturity painfully. Cady Heron, from the iconic Mean Girls (2005), experienced complex social circles, the fascination of school hierarchies, and learnt to be herself at the very end. Therese Lisbon from The Virgin Suicides (1999), the oldest of the Lisbon sisters, is worsened by grief and depression after Celia's demise.
Charlie Kelmeckis from The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) turns 17 during the story, finding his place in the world, struggling with first love, and healing from trauma. Lara Jean Covey from To All the Boys I Loved Before (2018-21) deals with love, identity, and acceptance.
In the fantasy genre, we have Harry Potter who turns 17 during the peak of trauma, survivor's guilt, losing everything close to him, and the crushing burden of the prophecy. Eragon from Inheritance Cycle wrestles with moral responsibility, normalcy, and the price of heroism. Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender struggles with the obsession of honor, trauma, and chronic shame. Sophie Foster from Keeper of the Lost Cities is isolated in her mind, but soon finds belonging and people she is happy with.
Whether relatable to you or not, you can always find a piece of yourself in these characters and people, who seem to carry the profound pain and also the simple joys of turning 17. Of learning about the world and how to overcome the obstacles hurled out.
"Edge of Seventeen" (1981) by Stevie Nicks is about the grief and growth of a girl into the fierce wings of womanhood. "Seventeen" (2015) by Alessia Cara is a beautiful song about fearing the end of being young, even while you're still living it. "Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl" – Broken Social Scene (2002) is an aching track, portraying the rawness of being 17, a frantic search into identity and purpose. Olivia Rodrigo in "Brutal" (2021) sings in a grit-filled voice, perfectly encapsulating the broken expectations one carries into the "perfect age" of 17.
"… And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fu****g teenage dream?"
"Ribs" by Lorde (2013) can be described as a Millennial/Gen Z ode to being 17, angsty, and learning what the world is truly about. My personal favorite, "Cigarette Daydreams" by Cage the Elephant (2013), drifts into feelings of being lost and overwhelmed by the world. Of course, the most culturally celebrated "17" song definitely goes to "Dancing Queen" by ABBA (1976), a disco pop anthem, celebrating the euphoria of 17, being young and enjoying the fleeting charm of being a girl, before becoming a woman.
By the time you turn seventeen, you somehow feel less extraordinary yet even more alienated in your thoughts. So many dreams left behind...yet so many more to come. The only way to learn is to fail and grow.
Seventeen is the time to find community, friends, and interests that make life worth living. And the earlier you realize this, the better you'll be able to enjoy your youth. Leaving your teenage years isn't the end either. It's always a continuation of what you've culminated throughout your formative years.
As I approach seventeen in a few days, I realize how magical of an age it can be, an amalgamation of forgotten dreams, new decisions, and hopeful futures. A time where wonder still hasn't died, and the seed of your inner kid begins to spread its branches wider and root itself even deeper.
"Youth is a circumstance you can’t do anything about. The trick is to grow up without getting old. "- Frank Lloyd Wright
