#29 TRENDING IN Relationships 🔥

7 Bad Habits That Can Ruin Your Relationship


November 19, 2023

In relationships, certain habits can quietly chip away at the foundation, causing cracks that threaten the bond we cherish. These habits aren't always glaring; sometimes, they're subtle, seeping into our daily interactions without notice. Understanding these detrimental patterns can be the key to safeguarding what matters most. Here are seven everyday habits that can potentially undermine and ultimately damage your relationship.

1. Starting fights over the phone

Diving into arguments through texts or calls can really mess things up in a relationship. Those messages miss out on stuff like tone, body language, and context, making it easy to misunderstand each other. Texts just don't cut it when you're trying to convey complicated feelings.

A harmless text can suddenly turn into a huge misunderstanding, and bam, you're in the middle of a pointless fight. Plus, without seeing the other person's feelings, it's super easy to get their intentions all wrong and make things worse. And those digital fights? They can blow up fast, leaving both of you feeling ignored and fed up. Suddenly, you're stuck in this loop of misunderstandings that wouldn't exist if you talked face-to-face—keeping a relationship solid means knowing the limits of texting or calling. It's better to have those tough conversations in person when things get heated. And if distance is in the way, go for video calls. They capture way more than texts ever could. Building good habits for communicating lays the groundwork for a stronger, more understanding relationship.

2. Holding grudges

Holding onto a grudge can be a real relationship sinker. Think about it—does it really fix anything? Nope.

Instead, it brews this bitter concoction of bad feelings that can mess things up. Trust me, I get it. Forgiving isn't always a walk in the park, but holding onto that resentment? It's like carrying around a backpack full of bricks. Not fun.

Here's the deal: if your partner messed up, take a good hard look at whether it's something you can move past. If it's a deal-breaker, hey, sometimes the healthiest thing is to call it quits. But if it's something you think you can work through, letting go of that grudge might save your sanity and relationship.

3. Constantly seeking reassurance

Seeking reassurance is pretty standard when you're in a relationship. We all want to feel secure, right? But the thing is, when you constantly need that pat on the back, that reassurance might signal something deeper going on.

Let's say you're always asking your partner if they love you and if everything's okay between the two of you. Sure, it's sweet at first, but if that need for reassurance never lets up, it might point to something more than just seeking comfort. There could be some severe insecurity or trust issues lurking underneath.

Reassurance alone won't fix those more profound issues. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. You might feel better for a moment, but the real problem remains. If you need constant reassurance in your relationship, it might be time to dig a bit deeper. Ask yourself why you're feeling this way, and maybe have an open chat with your partner about what's really going on. Because sometimes, those deeper conversations are needed to build the trust and security we crave in a relationship.

4. Being passive aggressive

Have you ever had something on your mind, but instead of speaking up, you drop hints or make those sly comments, hoping your partner will magically decode what's bothering you? Yeah, that's what they call being passive-aggressive, and let me tell you, it's not a relationship's best friend.Look, we're all guilty of it at some point. You know, that eye roll or sarcastic comment when you're upset about something. But here's the kicker: expecting your partner to unravel your code of silence isn't fair play.

If something's bothering you, would you rather dance around the issue and hope they pick up on your vibes, or just sit down and chat honestly? The latter might initially feel uncomfortable, but trust me, it's way better than leaving your partner to play detective.Direct communication might not always be the smoothest ride, but it sure beats the confusion and tension that come with those passive-aggressive mind games. So next time something eats at you, save yourself the trouble and spill it. Your relationship will thank you for it.

5. Stonewalling

One of the typical relationship pitfalls is stonewalling. You might know it as giving your partner the silent treatment. It's when you shut down, refusing to engage or communicate during a disagreement or an argument.

Think of it as putting up a wall between you and your partner. When this happens, the chance to resolve the issue gets blocked. It's frustrating and can cause harm to the relationship. Why? Because communication is the lifeline of any relationship. When you cut that off, it's like cutting off the oxygen supply to a fire—suffocating any chance of resolution.

Stonewalling might seem like a way to avoid conflict, but it's a counterproductive habit. Sure, it might provide temporary relief, but it erodes the trust and connection between you and your partner in the long run. Ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment?

It's disheartening. It leaves you hanging, unsure of where you stand or how to move forward. It's a stark reminder of the importance of open communication in any relationship.The next time you feel the urge to shut down during an argument, try to resist the temptation. Take a breath, pause if you need to, but make sure you find a way to keep the lines of communication open. It might be challenging, but addressing the issue together is far more constructive than building walls between you and your partner.

6. Getting too comfortable

I've scrolled through enough Reddit relationship threads to notice a recurring issue that hits hard: folks getting a bit too comfy in their relationships. We all want that cozy, 'I-can-be-myself' vibe, right? But there's a fine line between being comfortable and taking your partner for granted.

And trust me, it's a line worth paying attention to. Sometimes, getting too comfy can be a bit risky. Do you know how you might stop making those little efforts to make your partner feel cherished and valued? Like, suddenly forgetting the fun of going out on dates or flirting just for the heck of it? That's the thing. It's like you get so used to each other that you forget the thrill of making your partner feel special, you know? It's not about losing that comfort but more about balancing it out with those sweet little gestures that keep the spark alive.

7. You change who you are to be loved

One of the major pitfalls in relationships is the tendency to transform who you are to gain love and acceptance. It might seem like a good idea at the moment. Still, the reality is that altering your personality, forsaking your core beliefs, and reshaping yourself to align with someone else's preferences rarely leads to long-term happiness.

The key to a healthy and lasting connection is being true to yourself and finding someone who appreciates you for who you are. Authenticity fosters a deeper connection and ensures the relationship is built on a solid foundation that can weather the storms that inevitably come. Resist the urge to change the essence of who you are for the sake of love, and instead, focus on finding someone who loves you for being authentically you.

Hopefully, I haven't called out too many people for doing these things with this article. Either way, identifying and tackling these behaviors is essential to build healthy, satisfying connections. Working to remove these habits helps strengthen relationship bonds, fostering lasting happiness together.

Williana Serve
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Williana is currently a freshman in college. She likes to learn new things especially involving Law & Advocacy. When she’s not doing schoolwork, she can be found watching TikTok, YouTube, or reading.