Relationships can be exciting when we are in it with the right person. Every good relationship has the ability to thrive irrespective of the distance or proximity. A lot of negativity has been attached to a long-distance relationship. Some people believe that trust can only be built when the partners are at close proximity all the time. That is just a myth because every relationship takes work from both partners.
A relationship is like a financial institution when you invest in it, you will enjoy the dividends of that relationship regardless of the distance. So put your fears away especially if you just started a long-distance relationship because there are just as many breakups with couples living in the same city and those who are also world's apart.
8 Easy Steps to a Great LDR
Here are a few but great steps to a lasting long-distance relationship:
1. Let Someone in
Some people don't like to talk about this but it is important to get your loved ones or somebody you trust involved in the relationship from the onset. Are both parents aware of this relationship? Or is there someone in your life that you trust with the details of the relationship? This is not the time to keep anything a secret because your safety is equally as important as the relationship is to you.
How Did You Guys Meet?
Is he or she just a random person you met at the Mall and you know nothing about their background. Do you know each other friends and how sincere are they about your partner's behavior? You may have probably heard about ghosting. Where two people started off a relationship but after a while, one of the partners disappears. You need people to encourage you when things go crazy and emotions are all over the place. You need someone who can call you both to order especially when you both decide not to speak to each other. Any relationship that gets you too scared to open up is a red flag. Now that we've got that sorted, here is how to thrive.
"Distance doesn't separate people silence does"by Jeff Hodd. I know there are people who don't enjoy talking for too long because they are introvert but communication is the bedrock of any relationship. You need to put in the work and speak to each other. Thanks to social media and technology we can do a whole lot.
Choose A Time
If you leave in different time zones, choose what time would work for both of you and how many times in a week would be convenient to speak to each other if you both have busy lives. This gives both of you something to look forward to. You can take your partner along with you as you go through your day's work using face time. It is also important to know that texting doesn't solve all the problems. So much of what your partner might mean can be misinterpreted in a text message especially in a conflict. Try not to work through difficult seasons using text messages. Verbal communication with your significant other works best.
3. Be Committed
Both of you decided to be in this relationship in the first place, it is important that you both decide to be faithful to each other. No sneaking around trying to double date because word gets around. Both of you must be ready to give your 100% to the relationship. It shouldn't be one-sided because this could lead to frustration and trust issues? If you both care about each other, then none of you shouldn't be caught breaking trust. Trust is giving your heart to someone and hoping that the other person doesn't break it, even though he or she can.
4. Distract Yourself
What! Yes, distract yourself with yourself. Both of you should have other activities you engage in on a day-to-day basis aside thinking about each other all day and just waiting for the phone to ring.
Do you have other friends you would want to hang out with? Focus on developing yourself, take part in something you are really excited about. It is a bad idea to take part in an activity that you dislike and you're only doing it because your partner likes it. That is a disaster waiting to happen! Do something with your time that you enjoy and is not a waste of time and energy. There will be moments when your partner might not feel like talking at all and it's okay because he or she has a life to live too. Live your lives and share them with each other. Are you familiar with the quote, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." When you are idle so many unwanted thoughts and suspicions about your partner will pop up in your mind.
5. Stay in the Moment
You both should discuss issues that are moment based. Talk about how you feel at the moment and resolve it. Don't brush issues under the rug. I love what Sarah Jakes Roberts a renowned author said, instead of just asking people 'how are you?' ask them ' how is your heart?'. Such a question allows for both of you to dig deeper into the root of their thoughts. A gift card doesn't fix all the problems especially when your reason for giving a gift is to avoid confrontation and run away from the real issue at hand.
6. Build Trust
Give each other a lot of assurances about the relationship. Let your partner know you are 'in' for the long haul and distance is never a barrier. There should always be words of affirmation about the relationship between you both.
7. Plan Dates Together
Plan dates and it doesn't have to be something expensive but if you can afford it conveniently then you can plan a trip together. Plan trips to go someplace both of you have always wanted to visit. Just as I stated earlier, let the members of your family or loved ones know where both of you are going to be for security reasons. You can also plan to watch a movie together online, play online games. There should be something you both enjoy doing together.
You can also surprise each other with gifts or notes depending on what the other partner likes. Gifts shouldn't be something that you would need to break the bank for. You can shop together online if you are having difficulty knowing what gift to give. There is no point surprising your significant each other with something you never liked. No pretense!
8. Have a Goal
What is the end game of the relationship? This is something you both need to think about. Are you guys just dating for the fun of it or do you both have plans for the future? There has to be something you both are looking forward to. You both need to clear the air about each other expectations. Just to be sure both of you are on the same page.