Being involved in a 'guy' friendship is exciting and fun. Having a guy as your friend presents many great opportunities for you to get out of your comfort zone and bond with someone on a deeper level.
However, there can be disadvantages to having a girl-guy friendship.
Not everyone is aware of what they're getting into when deciding to have a friendship with a guy. You might know what that person is like, but inevitably, the more you get to know a person, the more you will discover about them.
So, with that in mind, here are 5 cons about being in a friendship with a guy!
1. You End Up Having Feelings
The most conflicting thing to come out of a guy-girl friendship is developing romantic feelings for your friend. In some ways, it can be great - at least you can guarantee that your crush knows you exist!
On the other hand, it can just feel so awkward to end up having feelings for your best friend. If you decide to, taking things to the next step and confessing your feelings to them can be complicated. Some people don't want to think about telling them because they're afraid of being let down or causing tension in the friendship. It's hard to tell someone that you have feelings for them, especially when both of you have a whole history of friendship together.
On some occasions, confessing your feelings to your guy best friend might pay off. They could feel the same way, and then the friendship can blossom into what you hope for. However, for some, they may feel it's better to be safe than sorry. Personally, I know I would never want to risk losing a friend over feelings of attraction that might not be mutual.
I will admit that I've had feelings for my guy friend before. I've never been good at expressing my feelings; I prefer to just 'feel' them, if that makes sense.
It's such a hard thing to experience because you don't want to have feelings for them. However, at the same time you just do and you can't explain what you're feeling, which I suppose is the worst part about feelings. In the end, I never act upon my feelings because I always come to the same conclusion: I'd rather have my guy friend as a best friend, as opposed to losing a friend to a relationship.
2. Awkwardness and Tension
Disagreements are common in every friendship.
Even if there aren't any disputes that you remember having, some things that are said and done in a friendship can be taken the wrong way. This can cause awkwardness in the friendship. If it was something awkward that you said or someone else said, it's better to just leave it alone and forget about it. It makes matters much worse if you keep bringing it up. It also makes other people in the friend group uncomfortable.
However, if it's something awkward you or someone did, it's best to talk about it with the person who made you uncomfortable. If you know it's bothering you and the other person, talk about it. Nothing is worse than not saying anything to that person and being awkward around them. That just seems to make the situation much worse.
Most friendships go through awkward phases, and there will be moments full of tension, but the good outweighs the bad. People in the friendship tend to move on from that awkward moment and forget about it.
I've gone through so many awkward moments before in my friendship.
When I say something that I instantly regret saying, I'm always scared that it'll change the friendship dynamic. Sometimes, they'll say or do something that makes me uncomfortable and awkward.
What fixes that awkward moment is just changing the subject or talking about something else. I've said and done so many stupid things in my friendships with my guy friends. I tend to overthink a lot of the time, which is such a hard habit to break. What makes it easier is having those guy friends that help you forget those weird phases you went through when you were younger that make you cringe.
Having those people to help you move on from something that was once awkward, is so great to have.
Being overprotective can be sweet at times because it shows that you actually care about the other person.
However, what people get confused about is the context that it's being used in. Are you being overprotective since you're a friend that genuinely cares and wants the best for your friend, or are you overprotective because of something else? Girls can be overprotective for many reasons; ego, jealousy, personality, past friendships/relationships.
There's a fine line between being overprotective as a friend, and overprotective as something else. The context of how being protective is being used just really depends on the people involved in the friendship.
I hate admitting this because it is my worst flaw in the friendship, but I would definitely say I am the overprotective one.
I hate seeing my best friend get hurt, especially if he's gotten hurt multiple times. It really hurts me when he comes to me feeling hopeless and sad. I feel like I'm the one picking up the pieces, just so something better comes along. What I always fear is that he'll get hurt again. I try my best to be supportive, but on the inside it's so hard to keep my cool and let it go.
Sometimes, you have to let the ones you love get hurt in order for them to understand why they went through that. I know that he'll become a better person because of what he went through. With every obstacle and challenge, there's triumph. Although my heart aches when he's hurt, I know I'll be happier knowing he'll come out stronger.
It's very normal to develop feelings of jealousy, and it's bound to happen sooner or later.
When you become really close to your best friend, you can't help but be overprotective. At times, you can misinterpret feelings of jealousy with being protective. You feel like you're doing the right thing by being protective, but that's not what's really happening. You then start to realize the signs of jealousy. I know most girls say that they're totally fine if their guy friend has other friends who are girls, but really? I mean who hasn't been jealous when they see their guy best friend hanging out with other girls.
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel like we're actually being valued in our friendships with guys. This is kind of hard too when you see another girl who isn't in your friend group hanging out with him.
The same goes for guys, sometimes they believe that they're being protective when they don't want to admit that they might be feeling jealous.
It's normal to feel this way, and it's nothing to be worried about. Small jealousy feelings and thoughts are what make a girl-guy friendship different. However, if it does continue, it would probably be best to talk it out with your friend. It's not good to keep feelings hidden, especially in a friendship. I think the best thing to come out of jealousy is that the other person will understand that you had good intentions and were trying to be protective.
I'm guilty of being jealous and it bothers me so much because all my friends know that I'm not the type to get jealous.
I know most people view jealousy as a negative thing in a friendship.
However, if we're being really honest, everyone has been jealous at one point in their life. Nobody's perfect. Jealousy is real and raw and that's what makes us human. I now realize that being jealous in a friendship is such a toxic trait, and I never want to be or feel like that towards the people I love and care about. I want to be happy for my best friend's successes, triumphs, victories, and accomplishments. I never want to take that feeling away from them by being jealous.
When I realize that I'm jealous, I'm disappointed in myself that I could feel that way towards the people who I call my friends. So I back up, and try to be positive and happy for them, and not try to ruin their moment with my jealous, selfish thoughts.
5. Being led On (or Leading Someone On)
Going through a friendship where feelings aren't mutual is very awkward and can feel humiliating. You never want to hear, “Oh, I just thought of us as friends” or “I just want to be your friend” when you clearly felt something different for that person.
Sometimes, these things could potentially end a friendship. I believe that being led on or leading someone on can be the most heartbreaking thing that can come out of a guy-girl friendship. It can become even more complicated when you or someone else has a flirty personality. It's very difficult for that person to understand if that's just your personality or you're genuinely being flirty on purpose.
I have guy friends who have a flirty personality, and at times it does feel like they act flirty when they really aren't. It's such a complicated thing to decipher whether a guy is being flirty or that's just his personality.
Anytime I feel like someone is acting flirting around me, I just try to be distant with them and I know that's not the best advice to give. What I mean by being distant is hanging out with other friends other than that flirty person, or just try to talk to them less. If I know someone is showing mixed signals and being difficult, I really just try to take some time away from them. I try to not be involved with someone who's not clear and certainly complicated.
Some people prefer playing hard to get, and others don't. It's really just about preference. In the end, it's just an opinion, it's not really something you have to do.
If you ever feel conflicted on where you stand in your friendship with your guy best friend, just ask and talk about it.
I believe that the main reason why friendships get so awkward and complicated are because of a lack of communication. If you really care about someone, put in effort to keep that friendship strong. You have to be able to communicate with them, even if that means putting your thoughts and feelings on the line.
Friendship is easy, but at times it can also be a risk. Sometimes, the risk pays off and you develop such a close friendship with someone you love so dearly, to the point you'd do anything for them, because it shows how much you love them.
It's the type of love where you wish nothing but the best for them, even if you're not in it.