Relationships!
The word itself brings about polar opposite sentiments in people. Some may get that familiar excited buzz, while others may feel the dark cloud of impending doom settle above them.
Relationships are so complicated that even the brightest minds fail to fully comprehend them. I think it’s fair to say that there are almost always second thoughts before entering into one, and even sometimes while you're already in it. After one too many failed relationships, I have to come to the conclusion that there are a number of things you should consider before making things official.
1. Your "Why"
Firstly, and I think one of the most important: WHY ARE YOU ENTERING INTO A RELATIONSHIP? Do you actually like them, or are they just giving you attention? Because let’s be honest— we all shine in this kind of attention. But it's important to think if you actually like the person, or if there is some other reason behind it.
2. Your Mental Health
I, from experience, know that MENTAL HEALTH is a major issue. It is very difficult for me to actually stand my ground in a fight ,and when someone says hurtful things in the middle of it, I just crumble. I remember those words forever and keep mulling over them, to the point that I earn myself a good migraine.
It’s also necessary to have a support system in case of a break-up. I know I needed it and am forever grateful to those who were there for me in such difficult times.
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3. Your Life Goals
As teenagers, we are under constant pressure from our parents and from society, but most important of all, from ourselves. Personally, I would almost always prefer to put my studies and education first. But I know a lot of people who go completely out of their way to remain in a relationship, completely disregarding their own GOALS.
So, the question to ask yourself is: do I have the ABILITY TO MANAGE MY GOALS IN A RELATIONSHIP? If not, then I don’t think that this is the right time for you to get into one.
4. Their Past
Don’t even get me started about dealing with their PAST RELATIONSHIPS. I am a naturally jealous and possessive individual. It always pinches whenever they talk about their ex. So, it is necessary to keep in mind their DATING HISTORY, and before entering into a relationship, you should already be somewhat at peace with them having had experiences with their exes that they haven’t had with you.
5. Your Expectations
Before entering into a relationship, it is important to be aware of what your EXPECTATIONS are for it. Is it just a fling? Could it be serious?
Or is it just a rebound? If you aren’t aware of this, then it is very easy to get lost in your feelings and not think logically. All of this will ultimately lead you to do certain things you might regret.
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6. Their Addictions
Now, I won’t even begin to deny this. All of us are addicted to something, be it something as innocent as books or something as harmful as drugs. It’s important to be aware of your crush’s ADDICTIONS and assess if you would be able to handle them. If they are addicted to something harmful, you should probably reach out with help rather than make things official.
7. Your Self-Awareness
Before entering into a relationship, one should also have some sense of SELF-AWARENESS. You should know who you are, who you want to be, and what your limits are. I know it’s very difficult to define yourself at this age, but you should have a basic sense of all of this to prevent yourself from being overshadowed.
8. Your Boundaries
You should also have some BOUNDARIES and have the ability to say no whenever you start to feel remotely uncomfortable. There’s no point in being in a relationship if you are not COMFORTABLE discussing with your partner what your boundaries and limits are. You should know the importance of the word "no." You should know what you are up for and be able to hit the brakes as soon as you don’t want to continue. If you don’t have the ability to do that, then neither of you benefit from the relationship.
9. Your Shared Interests
I know it’s important in every relationship to have somewhat different INTERESTS. But, it’s also equally important to have things that both of you enjoy and can spend a significant amount of time doing together. This will help you bond together on a deeper and more emotional level.
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10. Your Own Growth
As teenagers, we have a very impressive ability for PERSONAL GROWTH AND IMPROVEMENT. Before entering into a relationship, it is necessary to consider if your partner will help you grow and become a better version of yourself, or if they will subdue you and prevent you from achieving your true potential. Sometimes, this can be done through no fault of their own.
Whoa, that got a little intense. In the end, all that matters is that you follow your heart and have a tinge of logic attached to all the decisions you make. This ensures that you don’t have regrets in the future, only memories that you will look back on fondly.
You might be "together forever" with the person whom you like right now, or you might end up parting ways. But in the end, you should be happy with the decision you made.
