It feels like one day you’re sitting next to your older sibling. You’ve seen them through thick and thin. Sometimes you argue over the smallest things, like when I shaved my Barbie’s head for a reaction. Other times, you have big fights that feel impossible to move past.

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Whatever you do, you'll always end up making up. At the end of the day, you're family. Then there are times of laughter and down-time together that remind you of the complexity of growing up. With your family, you can just be yourself.

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I remember when we were younger. I would play with my Legos while my brother did something else. Now, instead of toys, he’s proudly holding his diploma, a sign of years of hard work and challenges he faced.

It’s amazing how those small moments can turn into something so important. They are just pieces of a larger picture in his life.

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We are thinking about our own education and the lives we are paving for ourselves as children. At times, we tend to forget to observe our siblings' achievements. That is where the concept of Sonder comes in.

Everyone lives life on their own level. Just as much as we are the protagonist of our life, someone is the side character in ours. They leave for the school of their choice and seize the reins of life. They become individuals who you and your family are proud of even though you are not aware of this at the moment.

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Growing up with my brother wasn’t always easy, but it was honest. I’d rev up and down with energy, and he’d look for moments of solitude with the door shut in his room. I didn’t always get him.

When he seemed quiet or down, I had questions about what went on behind closed doors. I lived in a world of questions. He had a lot on his plate, such as bullying in school and issues with mental health. These were fights he waded into in silence, for the most part alone. I watched him as he was his own cheerleader and critic sometimes, not often the most pleasant person in the world to understand. He was a little like Harry Potter and walking around with loneliness as an invisible cloak no one could perceive but him.

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Since he is my brother, I wanted to shield him, to be the big sister who could ease life for him. But he had a path of his own, one I could not in every case travel or assist on. He had a pattern of remarking, “I’m here to keep you safe.” This calmed me, but also annoyed me.

I was maturing, and I wanted freedom and space of my own. But I wanted him close as well. That combination of needing to be protected and wanting to break away created tension in the relationship but kept us closely bonded as well. When graduation day arrived, it seemed like a milestone I wasn’t prepared for. Seeing him walking across the stage with his diploma in hand, I was a mix of emotions. I was lost. I didn’t know where all those days had gone for this event to happen. I was proud he had come through of his own struggles, of pain and development over the years. But there was also a subdued pain because I knew something was ending. The daily presence of my brother in our house, the security of having him near, was about to alter in some way. The house seemed quieter, emptier, and strange without him.

Life after graduation had its share of difficulties. I spent more time alone in the house. I wanted the freedom I had so much but also experienced loneliness I had not anticipated.

When he came over, I wanted the space even when I did miss him. It confused me to feel sad and yet glad he was there. Our interactions grew shorter, the back and forth mainly with short texts and phone calls with miscellaneous updates. The little exchanges revealed to me the extent to which our lives were moving in separate directions. I no longer disturbed the pesky little sister hovering over him.

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This experience reflects something much larger for many of us in Gen-Z. We are growing up at a time when independence and self-reliance are expected, but feelings of isolation and disconnection are also common. Asking for help feels awkward, and accepting help feels even harder.

Watching my brother graduate and move on taught me a lot about contradictions: pride mixed with loneliness, closeness mixed with distance, childhood mixed with adulthood. These emotions are intertwined in a way that makes growing up confusing but also meaningful. Having a brother growing up was complicated and beautiful, exhausting and motivational. He taught me about power and weakness, about fighting battles seen and unseen. As I watch him transition into the next phase of life, I’m learning love can sometimes appear as releasing your grip. When it feels like losing yourself in the process, however, it's part of growing up and figuring where and who you fit in the world.

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