What is Ghosting?
If you have been extremely lucky in life then you don't know what this term is. This word describes a moment in time where you start to question your worth and appeal to others. Ghosting occurs when someone simply stops talking, texting, or snapping you, out of nowhere. You could be talking everyday for months and then one random Tuesday evening they stop responding as much, until they don't respond or reach out at all. Almost everyone I know has experienced this form of rejection and take it in various forms, but the question is why does this happen and what effects does this act of rejection have on our confidence and our future relationships?
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It turns out that 84% of Gen Z and Millenials have been ghosted and they don't feel good about it, according to Forbes. These people feel pain and frustration along with hurt and sadness. With that being said, 3 in 4 think ghosting is appropriate in certain situations and nearly 2 in 3 have ghosted someone else. It is now clear that most of us have experienced this form of hurt and most of us have similar feelings towards this act of what seems like human nature. We get ghosted by someone we care about and then we go and ghost someone of lesser value to us. It's a circle of reciprocal ghosting as professionals call it.
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The Big Question at Hand: Why?
Why do we ghost people and why do people ghost us? Is it a fatal character flaw or something out of our control? There are many reasons that a person may stop talking to you. Most times these reasons are out of your control. Sometimes someone ghosts you because there is simply a lack of interest: they may be aware of the fact that you might be interested in them and they bolt because they don’t want to hurt you or lead you on.
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Ghosting can be a form of them protecting you from being led on by simply not leading you at all. Sometimes a person might be too intimidated by how awesome you are, that they try to compare themselves to you and then they ultimately come up with the idea that you’d be better off without them. Most times being ghosted comes from a state of fear: fear of rejection, commitment or simply lack of interest or a character flaw of theirs. These are some of the most common reasons why young teens and even young adults ghost.
How Does Ghosting Affect Us on a Mental Level
After being ghosted we can exhibit many different forms of hurt and sadness, and this can lead to future troubles in relationships and overall just commitment to activities or people. According to a study run by Forbes, 39% of their respondents felt inadequate after being ghosted while 22% expressed anger about the situation. A quarter of the women polled felt anxious or afraid about dating in the future. Aside from momentary stress and sadness from being ghosted, it can lead to long term issues if you handle this set back inaccurately.
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How Do I Handle It?
The tip with these kinds of issues is to handle the situation with confidence. Don’t push the blame too heavily on yourself. Remember that your worth is not dependent on whether someone decides to start talking to you again. Your worth is found within yourself. Reminding yourself of this is important because it will help you to move on and to become a stronger version of yourself who truly cares about your own well being.
