Let’s face it—as a teenager, many of us have a fair share of emotional ups and downs. The changes in hormones, social media pressure, and anxiety about being the best at almost everything may sometimes drive our wildest thoughts. We find ourselves in a state of "delulu"—slang for being stuck in doing nothing, with our minds wandering through continuous spirals of thoughts over which we have no control.

While it might seem not to cause any negative outcome to be super lost in these thought spirals, this being stuck in our heads could cause us to shy away from the real issues, and be distracted from the things that should be of concern. Below are some ideas to remain fixed on the target, notwithstanding when our minds wander away.

What Exactly Is "Deluluism"?

“Deluluism,” from the word delusional, describes the tendency to overthink the little things or sweat the small stuff. Whether we are replaying a minor social interaction over and over or imagining scenarios that might never happen, overthinking can be time-consuming. Overthinking about small things can sometimes distract us from our bigger goals of excelling in school or competing in sports. So, how can we get a handle on this and stay productive?

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Take the Quiz: Are you "Delulu"?

Are you grounded in reality, or letting your overthinking run the show?

Is it All Real?

Not every thought you have is based on reality.

Often, our minds jump to conclusions, assuming the worst-case scenario when there's no solid evidence.

Imagine you’re walking into class, and a group of people across the room immediately start laughing as soon as you enter. As a result, your mind might immediately jump to, “They’re laughing at me. They probably see me as a walking joke” or “I said something embarrassing earlier.

Why did I do that? Why… If I didn't do this… If I did that…” You can start feeling anxious, self-conscious, and hyper-fixate on little quirks you see as flaws.

In reality, their laughter could have nothing to do with you —they might be laughing at an inside joke or some meme on their phone. There's no solid evidence that you’re the reason for their laughter, yet sometimes your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario!

Your thoughts are not always concrete facts unless they are put into action. Negative thoughts are part of life, but it is important to separate them from reality.

A powerful technique is to label thoughts as either helpful or unhelpful. This helps you see them objectively, reducing the likelihood of spiraling.

Understanding Cognitive Distortions

To break free from overthinking, you must first understand the patterns that fuel it. According to Harvard's Stress and Development Lab, listed below are common negative thought patterns many teenagers experience and tips on how to discern them.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

This is when we see things only in black and white. For example, if you don’t get an A, you might feel you’ve failed stupendously. The truth is that perfection isn’t realistic.

You can try practicing seeing the gray areas—focus on what went well and where you can improve. Not every roadblock is a failure.

Tip: Write down what you did well, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. This helps you acknowledge your efforts and recognize progress over time.

2. Jumping to Conclusions

Without enough evidence, we might assume someone doesn’t like us or that a situation will end badly. Sometimes, we believe that someone thinks negatively about us without asking. We sometimes predict a negative outcome even though the problem might not be that bad.

For instance, you just finished a tough science quiz. You hear some smart kids complaining about the quiz's difficulty. You immediately conclude that you failed your quiz, even though you have yet to see your results and might have done better than you think.

Tip: Before jumping to conclusions, ask yourself if there are facts to support your thoughts. Try checking in with others rather than making assumptions. Not everything is meant to come from your gut, sometimes your gut is wrong, and it's important to accept that.

“Our brains are wired for story. We make up stories to fill in the blanks.”

- Brene Brown (renowned researcher on vulnerability)

Finding an Outlet

When you’re caught in a spiral of thoughts, it’s important to have strategies that ground you. Finding another outlet can shift your focus and release pent-up emotions.

Below are some outlets you can try when your thoughts spiral out of control.

1. Exercise

Physical activity can help you clear your mind. According to Mayo Clinic, no matter what type of exercise, exercise releases endorphins in your brain that naturally boost your mood.

2. Creative Hobbies

Engaging in creative activities like drawing, playing an instrument, or writing can be therapeutic. You can practice self-expression and process your feelings and thoughts through creative expression in many different forms.

Journaling is especially a helpful form. According to Healthline, journaling is helpful. Putting pen to paper lets you organize your thoughts and see patterns. Over time, you’ll notice what triggers your overthinking and develop strategies to manage it.

Image Credit: Prophsee Journals on Unsplash

If you're not the best writer, you can also engage in many different creative hobbies from playing guitar to having a personal sketchbook. The possibilities are limitless.

3. Prayer and Meditation

For many, prayer or meditation can also provide a sense of calm and clarity. When you take the time to sit in silence and reflect, prayer can help you reconnect with what’s important and release the grip of negative thoughts.

According to Paul Hokemeyer, marriage, family, and addictions therapist on NBC News, “When we sit down and engage in prayer or meditation, we can shift away from this frightened and stressed survival mode into "an intentional state,” As a result, as teenagers, when the world seems too much to handle, and you find yourself in an overthinking state of mind, prayer can help you ground yourself and trust on the divine for your circumstances. Prayer can also be a helpful habit that helps us when overwhelmed or looking for a solution.

“Praying is saying: I am really hurting about X. I am really hoping for Y. I am looking for support from Z.” - Dr. Loretta G. Breuning, founder of the Inner Mammal Institute and the author of "The Science of Positivity" and “Habits of a Happy Brain” on NBC News

Reframe Your Thoughts

My mom always gave me a notecard whenever I was worried.

“Worry is like a rocking chair—it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

Overthinking, especially about past mistakes or missed opportunities, can feel productive but often keeps us stuck. Instead of replaying the same thoughts, try thinking of them in another light. For example, if you’re worried about a social situation that didn’t go well, ask yourself what you learned from it. How can you use that experience to do better next time?

Blessings in Disguise

It's also important to remember that not everything bad is truly bad! As a teenager, worrying about fitting in, achieving goals, or impressing others is completely normal. But when things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to interpret these as hints that something is inherently wrong with us. Sometimes rejection can protect you.

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This is illustrated in the Chinese folklore tale, "Sai Weng Shi Ma" which teaches a valuable lesson: not everything that appears bad is necessarily so. A man loses his horse, which initially seems like a disaster. But later, the horse returns with another, turning his misfortune into a blessing.

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith." - Steve Jobs (founder of Apple)

This concept can help shift your mindset. Maybe a rejection from that one friend group you wanted to join can make room for a better fit elsewhere. Setbacks are parts of life that can help us learn and grow.

Life has a way of redirecting us when we’re open to seeing beyond immediate disappointments. It’s all about seeing beyond the smoke screen of the immediate situation.

Stay Grounded

It’s easy to get caught up in spirals of overthinking. However, staying aware of these patterns and developing strategies to counteract them is the first step toward staying focused. Remember, your thoughts don’t define you; they are just a part of the human experience.

Find outlets, challenge distortions, and be kind to yourself. And finally, just as my elementary school principal always told us, “Your life is what you think of it”.