One of the highlights of being a teenager is finally being eligible for a driver's license—the ticket to freedom. Regardless of whether or not you were born a naturally good driver, learning to drive can be a scary process and it is common to experience anxiety. At a first glance, it may seem like driving is a basic skill, but mastering it takes proficiency in several smaller sub-skills and the ability to use them all at once. Though my personal experience with getting my driver's license was nothing like I'd expected, it was worth it to go through the process and gain rewarding results.

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Driver's Ed and Getting My Permit

For so long, I'd dreamt about getting my license and being released from the boring captivity of my home. Assuming that since driving was something that almost everyone does eventually, it couldn't be that difficult to learn. I told myself that the day I turned 16, I would get my license and take advantage of my newfound freedom. Little did I know that I wouldn't get it until I was past 17.

When I was 15 and a half, my dad constantly urged me to complete my online driver's ed course. As much as I wanted to drive, sitting at my desk for a 30-hour course was not at all appealing. On top of that, I struggled to find time to get around to doing in between my course load for sophomore year.

Once I finally completed driver's ed, I made an appointment to take my written permit test. The process for taking my permit test was a lot more complicated than I'd expected for reasons that were mainly my fault. On my first appointment, I had accidentally forgotten to bring my driver's ed certificate and had to reschedule. The second time, the DMV was so crowded that by the time I got to the front of the line, I was denied as it was past their designated hours. Because the DMV's closing time is so early in the day, it made it that much harder to reschedule every time. I then decided that I would try to take it online however, my luck continued as the camera had trouble detecting my face. Finally, after scheduling it for in-person another time, I was able to take my permit test.

Even though you technically get 3 chances before having to retake driver's ed, the extensive effort that it took just to schedule my first try put pressure on me to pass and avoid having to reschedule again. Beforehand, I'd asked my friends who had already passed how to study (because let's be honest, driver's ed wasn't a very helpful preparation tool). They told me to look up online practice tests and take as many as I possibly could. Unfortunately, because my appointment was scheduled the day before due to a last minute opening, I only took about five short practice tests.

Out of 46 questions, I could only miss 8 to pass. Because the tests tells you after every question whether you answered it right or wrong, I kept track on my fingers of how many I missed as I went. On the last question, I had already missed 8 questions, meaning that whether I got it right or wrong determined a pass or fail. Luckily, I got it right and was able to receive my permit, committing the maximum of 8 mistakes. However, I was way behind schedule as I ended up getting my permit 2 months after my 16th birthday.

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Dealing with Driving Anxiety

Because my parents were reluctant to let me drive their car without sufficient experience, my first time driving was a few weeks later at my lesson with an instructor. My instructor was the same for my first few lessons and I liked how patient he was with me. He calmly pointed out my mistakes and praised me for what I did well. After multiple attempts of convincing my dad that I needed practice in between lessons and that I was ready, he finally let me drive his car.

There was one lesson that I had with a different instructor than my usual one. I did my walk-around and she asked me if I had noticed any damage done to the car. I said no and she had me take another look. I looked carefully and when I still didn't see anything, she pointed to a minuscule scratch in the corner at the very bottom of the windshield. She went over to my dad and told him I needed to get my eyes checked (after the lesson he laughed, telling me he couldn't see the scratch either).

As we went on with the lesson, she told me about a hundred instructions at once. "Make a left, then a right, then another right, then a left, and a right..." Overwhelmed, I made a wrong turn. She then asked me to pull over and told me that she didn't feel safe with me in the car because I couldn't follow basic directions. I tried my best to hold in my tears and after the lesson, I asked my dad to never schedule me with an instructor other than my original one ever again.

Because I was so behind and a lot of my friends had already gotten their licenses, I got to watch them drive and wonder why I wasn't as good as everyone else. It seemed like whenever I was with someone who could drive, they always talked about how fun it was. Meanwhile, I cried after almost every single occasion that I had to drive. That dejected feeling prevented me from wanting to practice and the lack of practice ultimately delayed me from getting my license.

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Getting My License

Right before my 17th birthday, I told my parents that I was scheduling my first attempt at the behind-the-wheel test. They told me that they didn't think I was ready yet and honestly, I didn't feel ready either. But, I was so set on getting my license while I was still 16 and I knew that I needed to give myself time before my permit expired anyways.

On the day of, I was extremely nervous that I would get an instructor that would be harsh. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I failed and got yelled at. I was relieved when the instructor I got came by my window and starting hyping me up. I immediately felt the pressure lifted off my shoulders when I got past the curbside parking portion of the test. However, after I continued, my luck ran out. I approached a large keep clear section right before an intersection. The light was green and I was told to turn left. As I entered the keep clear, the light turned yellow. I panicked and braked, instantly regretting it after realizing I was stuck at a red light in the middle of a keep clear section. The instructor told me to head back to the DMV and I knew that I failed.

I knew going into the test that I didn't feel ready, but the failure still hurt. I didn't schedule my second attempt until right before my permit's expiration date, so that I could take my third attempt (if needed) on that exact day. I spent a lot of time overthinking and putting unnecessary pressure on myself. If I didn't pass, I'd only have one more try left. And if I failed on my third try, I'd have to take the permit test again and wait another 6 months. If I had to wait another 6 months, I wouldn't have my license in time to get a senior parking spot.

On the day of, I hoped that I would get the same instructor. Although I had failed the first time from a critical error, he was still generous about my other mistakes and helped me ease my nervousness. My heart sank as a different instructor knocked on my window and my judgement told me he was a lot more serious. As I drove nervously, I tried to be cautious to not make the same mistakes I made on my first attempt. After I passed the intersection where I'd initially failed, I again felt the weight disappear from my shoulders. I tried to not let that feeling distract me as I kept going. We returned to the DMV in less than 10 minutes and I felt dejected, thinking that I'd failed again. He talked me through my mistakes and after telling me I only made 4 minor errors, he let me know that I'd actually passed. I was ecstatic to finally reach the milestone that I was so discouraged to achieve.

Contrary to what I'd hoped, my newfound freedom was limited by the fact that I didn't have my own car and my parents' failure to believe that I was ready, despite having my license. I actually didn't end up driving for the first time alone until about 2 months after I got my license.

Flash-forward to now, after 4 months of having my license, driving doesn't scare me as much anymore. My parents allowed me to start off small with the 5 minute car ride to school alone. After that, I worked my way up to building their trust and gained more privileges.

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The Reward

I found that not only did I receive the trust of my parents, but I built trust in myself. I realized that the biggest things that denied me from becoming a good driver all this time were my mental blocks. Though the process of getting my license, in my case, was a lot more difficult than I'd ever expected, the lessons I learned about myself through it made it an experience I don't regret.

Though I'd originally believed that I was sufficient in skills such as spatial awareness, stress management, and decision-making. Aside from overcoming my mental blocks, this process helped me strengthen my ability to utilize all these skills at once in fast-paced scenarios.

And finally, with my license, I received the newfound freedom and independence that I'd always craved. I am now able to go out when I want to without burdening my parents with the hassle of having to give me a ride and I can leave whenever I want without having to first call my parents. I feel like I have more control over my life which serves as useful preparation before I leave for college.

In the end, I am proud of myself for what I accomplished despite the countless times I told myself I'd quit and that alone is enough to make the whole experience worth it. If you're currently somewhere in the process of learning to drive, the biggest takeaway is to not let small bumps in the road prevent you from getting your license. Ultimately, take my experience with a grain of salt and don't compare yourself because no two experiences are the same. Good luck!