I'm Not Behind, I'm Just Building Quietly (Why Social Media Success Can Be Misleading)

"Progress doesn't have to be visible to be valid."

Flashy videos, big announcements, and loud celebrations. Social media has completely changed how we view progress. The internet has made it all about visibility and aesthetics rather than something just as valid when kept to yourself.

And this 'marketing' of achievements puts a certain strain on them. It becomes a requirement for things we achieve to be big and loud and 'post worthy' rather than just existing. And this cultivates a mindset of 'if it is not good for posting, it's not good at all.’ Which is completely ridiculous, seeing that success isn't always loud. In reality, it is a lot of small, quiet moments that come together to form the bigger picture.

Private Progress > Visible Progress

Private progress will always be the GOAT (greatest of all time). Why? Because visibility is not as beautiful as people make it out to be. Exposure to the public will always have an element of disturbing your peace and giving you stress. When you share your goals or achievements with people, you give them the power of being able to dictate how you feel about them too.

And even if you are completely secure and don't feel anybody's opinion matters, it still is something that can affect you when your guard is down or when you feel vulnerable.

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The "Aesthetic" Of Success

The internet has an aesthetic for everything. From cooking to sleeping, you will find a visually appealing way to do it all. And that is where the problem lies. The internet defines success as luxury cars, expensive vacations, and branded couture. But this is not what success looks like for everyone.

For some, success might be a fridge stocked with healthy foods. For others it may look like shelves filled to the brim with their favorite books. For some it may even look like a night in with their family. What really matters isn't how it looks but how it makes you feel.

The Factor Of External Validation

What most of us many times forget is that posting online has a HUGE factor of external validation. Most of the people that post on social media do it because when other people like their posts, it makes them feel accepted. And while humans are wired to want external validation, relying too much on it can lead to you attaching your self-worth to the opinion of others.

It not only weakens the relationship you have with yourself but also leads to a diminished belief in your own capabilities.

The Invisible Courage

Studying without applause, healing in silence, and working toward goals that aren’t Instagram-ready also take great amounts of courage. And in my very honest opinion, it requires more courage because there is no one to cheer you on. There is no one witnessing what you are doing. But the results will come.

You should have belief in your own capabilities because most of the time, this belief is the only thing that carries you forward.

Photo by Igor Omilaev on Unsplash

The 1% Out Of The 100%

Those posts on Instagram or stories on Snapchat are literally 1% of the lives those people live every day. Those things you see on social media are the best of the best. They don't include the late nights, the early mornings, or the feeling of hopelessness; they only include the result of it.

That is why it is important to remember that those people's lives are also chaotic, messy, and imperfect behind the camera. And there is nothing wrong with that. Life is supposed to be messy and chaotic.

Because this is what being human is. It is the very essence of humanity to feel like not all things are on track. It is the spontaneity of life, and if we remove all of it, if we remove the zest of living, then what's left?

Maintaining A Balance

After reading all of this, you might think that I am telling you not to post on social media and keep whatever you achieve private. But that's not what I am saying.

In this extremely saturated world, social media can help you stand out in your desired field. And many people use it as a tool. Many people strive to make their social media profiles their portfolios so that potential employers, investors, or partners can look at their wins and see that they are dedicated to their dreams. I have done the same.

If you go over my LinkedIn in my bio, you will see that I have posted about my achievements too. This isn't wrong. The best thing to do is strike a balance between what you post and what you keep.

And most importantly, not attaching your worth to these posts. Because no matter how many likes, comments, or views you get, if you are happy, then it should be enough.

Figuring Out What You Want

Each sentence in this article will only benefit you when you know deep down in your heart about what you actually want. If you are an avid poster, take a break from it for a while. Achieve your goals in silence and don’t tell anybody about it.

Then see how you feel. If you feel happy, calm, and peaceful with what you have achieved, then that’s great. And it solidifies the fact that you are not seeking external validation to the extent that it weakens the relationship you have with yourself.

And if you don’t feel this way, that’s okay too. Just try to maintain a balance. Post some, keep some private.