Spotting toxic friends can be challenging at first. Sometimes you might not pay attention to, or ignore, a red flag in someone you trust and want in your life. It is entirely normal to give people the benefit of the doubt or second chances.
It happens to everyone one way or another. However, it is not okay to keep someone who is adding negativity and taking away value in your life. Take this article as a guide to spotting these types of people and where to draw the line.
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Get notified of top trending articles like this one every week! (we won't spam you)1) They Bring You Down
Sometimes, when someone is jealous of you or sees you doing better than they are, they reflect this by belittling your achievements, shaming you, or trying to make you feel embarrassed about your accomplishments. You must communicate to them that it doesn't matter whether your achievement was big or small; if it brings you a sense of accomplishment, then nobody has the right to tell you it is not a big deal. As a joke, people can mask their insecurity. If you ever feel uncomfortable about this, you should definitely speak up.
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2) Disrespect Your Boundaries
When you might not feel like hanging out, or feel down, toxic friends would force you out of your house or make you feel bad for not spending time with them. A lot of the time, these people resort to being angry at you for not giving them immediate attention. As long as you are not ghosting them, and spending reasonable amounts of time with them, it shouldn't be a problem at all if you want time for something else. If they feel targeted or angered by this, it is definitely a sign that you should reconsider your friendship with them.
3) Leave You Drained
When you hang out with friends, you should come home feeling fulfilled and, overall, distracted from reality. If a friend is constantly trauma-dumping, using you as a therapist, or being a really negative person towards everything in general, it can usually cause you to do the same. Friends have a subconscious-level effect on us, and you must make sure that they make you happy, not more depressed.
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4) Constant Criticism
Sometimes, people with toxic standards will criticize you for everything you do. Having friends who lift you up and guide you is very different from those who will judge you for your mistakes. If they are not lending a hand when you need it or making you feel less worthy if you do something wrong, it is a strong indicator that they should not be the outlet you go to when you feel down. These types of friends will make you feel worse than before in a bad situation, and you should stop that as immediately as possible.
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If you relate to any of these things in a particular friendship, I would tell you to reevaluate your time and see if it is really worth spending time with someone who has not worked on themselves enough to be a quality friend. Keeping friendships is essential, so if you can communicate how you feel to your friend and help guide them toward a healthier mental state, it can positively affect their current and future relationships. But if they do not see a problem with their actions, you should step away from the situation before it starts draining you and use your time towards better things.
