If you were to describe yourself as a girl, what would you say - a daughter to your parents, a sister to your siblings, a girlfriend to your partner? What about someone to yourself?

The real question here is: Why are we as girls subjected to so much pressure to describe ourselves as something for others, always living our lives in harmony with other people's expectations? The answer to this question lies within the way we were raised - and by whom we were raised.

A Girl's First Role Model

Mothers are the first female mentors, from whom girls learn mostly everything: how to tie their hair when they are 5, how to dress well around 13, how to apply makeup at 17. That is, if the mother were a great mentor.

A mother shouldn't be just a mentor, though, but also a role model, someone a daughter can look up to and emulate her intellectual and emotional style. Motherhood isn't just about the easy tasks of wrapping a young girl in an eye-pleasing package made out of make-up, clothes and perfume. It's about growing the shy little girl into a strong, smart and serene woman.

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

The way mothers praise and educate their daughters is crucial in the way girls perceive themself and their capabilities later on. A mother's mentorship starts the moment a girl is born, but plays a decisive part in her teenage years, which are usually ruled by insecurities, self-consciousness and emotional tension.

Endorsing a young girl's initiatives and offering to co-create empowers them to trust themselves, never fear failure, and maintain mental clarity even in challenging times. Besides empowering a young girl to take initiative regardless of what others say, it is equally important to teach her, as a mother, to take pride in her achievements: being able to enjoy self-attainment fully gives young girls a chance to view them as something more for themselves than for others.

Next time they will be asked who they are, they will proudly be able to say that they are someone for themselves. Someone who showed up for their goals, followed their dreams and never gave up - step by step, day by day.

Take the Quiz: Which Female Character Trope Do You Belong To?

Whether it's in film, TV, or literature, you've likely come across these female character tropes. Take this quiz to discover which one best matches...

Find Yourself a "Girl's Girl"

One of the most beautiful things on this earth is female friendship. And yet again, it's not about those times you went shopping, baked together or went to a party - as those will remain just vague memories. It's about a girl's best friend - someone who is good to her soul.

All a girl has to do is stand in front of her best friend, who will see everything she is, everything she stands for, everything that breaks her. Girlhood isn't about spending time in loud spaces; it's about surviving together when everything else is falling apart. And when this happens, a true "girl's girl" will always have your back, be there for you, hold you, console you and make sure that everything will be okay.

It is essential that a girl has one true best friend - a girl who isn't jealous, has values and morals, celebrates every success, hypes you up and loves you unconditionally. And when the storm of teenage years becomes shallow, a girl will realise that those intimate, private times with her best friend are a part of the foundation of every version of herself she's ever been and every version she ever will be. Finding a mentor, a sister not by blood, but by heart, a best friend, will save a girl's life one day.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Talk to Your Grandmother

A grandmother has a profound, deep and secure love for her grandchildren. It's something about the bond of a young female adult with her grandmother that changes everything. In her 20s, a girl might feel overwhelmed by everything that has happened in her life, everything that is going on at the present and everything that might not happen at all in the future. And it's those thoughts that her life will never be everything she ever dreamed of, that make a girl question herself once again.

A girl's life has 3 big insecurities: One is being unsuccessful and having to rely on others. The second is about the fear of never finding her purpose. And the last one is never finding love.

If a mother were a true mentor to her daughter, then she wouldn't fear the absence of success. A best friend will ensure a girl understands her potential, reminding her that everything she does has a purpose and deep meaning. But what about love?

Finding love is hard, especially for a strong, smart and serene woman. Psychology teaches us that some women struggle to receive love, not because they don't want it, but because they live with the belief that they are unworthy of love or incapable of being loved. And every time someone approaches her, her self-defense mechanism kicks in and holds her back from falling in love - to protect her from the possibility that falling in love will destroy the first two things she has worked so hard for: success and purpose.

It's moments like these, where a young girl lives in confusion about what she really wants and needs, that she must talk to her grandmother, a wise female mentor full of heartfelt, numbing life stories. Once a young girl herself, she knows the feeling of being lost and confused, maybe even unlovable - and still, she did find love. A grandmother knows how to change a girl's perspective of her self-worth, both to herself and to others.

She helps her understand that every little achievement, both academically and mentally, does not make her less capable of love. On the contrary, she became such a beautiful, strong woman that she was worthy of all the love possible. And one day, soon enough, she will find the one partner that won't hold her back from success and purpose, and love her unconditionally.

Photo by Sergiu Vălenaș on Unsplash

Look for Someone

There will be times when a girl is alone, far from home, from every female mentor who was there through thick and thin with her. In such times, look for someone: your roommate in college, a working colleague at work, or even the nice lady from the neighbourhood. A girl should always have a female mentor, with a good heart and soul, who is ready to step in whenever needed.

It's the common joys, struggles and experiences that knit women so tightly together, and a girl must take advantage of such a beautiful bond. It is truly a blessing to have someone close to you who keeps you on track, always has your back and never gives up pushing you towards your dreams.

Conclusion

Female mentorship is the one thing that builds a girl's character, strength, resilience and self-worth. It's the one thing that changes how a young girl perceives herself and her future.

Every girl must have at least one female mentor at her side; a woman with endless admiration and love, never letting her down and always helping her get up when everything seems broken.

In this generation full of insecurity, mental struggles and confusion - don't let these define you. Always remember your female mentors and their lessons: Fight for your success, seek your purpose, wait for love. Find your voice, be strong and never forget yourself, because you are someone to yourself in the first place.