HeForShe: Self-love is not Something to Be Thrown Away!

#HeForShe

"You don't need to believe in magic. You are Magic; you need to believe in yourself." Magic (Pinterest) Looking in the mirror, what do you see? Is it what I see? A beautiful, smart person? Did you know that you are your worst critic? You are so hard on yourself! Today, I want to use this article to change your mind. Just give me a few minutes of your time. First, let us start by doing these simple things:

1. Look in the mirror.

2. Say "I am enough" at least a couple of times.

It may seem silly, but studies show that the more times you repeat something over and over, the more you will start to believe it. We even do this with the lies that we tell ourselves. Such as, "I'm not enough." This is not true. You are beautiful, so stop telling yourself that lie. To replace these thoughts, consider these concepts. Here are three phrases to help you believe "I am enough" :

1. We are like snowflakes; we are all unique—each of us has a distinctive look.

2. Looks are not the only thing that makes you beautiful. Our unique personal characters are worthy of love.

3. You are important!

"Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it." – M. Scott Peck

The first, and only, the person that needs to accept you is you. We can look in every nook and cranny to find someone that will reassure us of our importance. But until we love ourselves, no one else will. At least we will not accept it because we do not think we deserve it. We will not perceive another's love as truthful.

Let me use my life as an example. I compared myself to other people my entire life. What others thought of me has always been my first priority. Starting at a young age, how I thought of myself was determined by the people around me. Over and over again, I would tell myself that I was not good enough and that my failures were too much to be forgiven. Day after day in high school, I struggled and did not absorb the information I was taught. I was just barely passing. It was a nightmare having to continue like that. However, no matter how much I put myself down, I refused to give up my dream of becoming a high school graduate. Despite others' doubts, I was determined to pass high school and graduate. I kept telling myself that it would improve and that I would not always feel like this. That statement remains true to this day.

Now, there are days that I still feel like I'm failing. I still struggle with school and it is not always easy for me. No matter what, I have to keep repeating to myself the self-love reminder, "I am ENOUGH." Even if it may not feel true most days and I feel like I'm lying to myself when I say this. The point is, is that someday I will believe it. It's true no matter what I may think. Here are some more helpful ideas to replace the harmful lies you may tell yourself with the truth.

All of these ideas belong to Sharon Martin LCSW 2016 Blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect.

1. Acknowledge that you're struggling.

This is so true. Just because you are struggling, it does not mean that you are failing.

2. Accept that you're imperfect, and that's normal.

We all have flaws that we do not like; the hard part is accepting them.

3. Give yourself compliments.

When you keep telling yourself something positive or negative, it sticks to you like a sticky note.

4. Ask for help.

More than likely, there will be times that we will need to ask for help. That is okay. There are tons of resources out to help you. For instance, talking with a therapist.

5. Slow down

Now, I think even I need to hear this one. It is okay to take your time. If you need a break to regroup, then do so. It is okay!

6. Set boundaries.

"What does this mean?" you may ask. It means creating space between yourself and the things that might be bringing you down.

7. Give yourself a lot of treats.

You sometimes need to reward yourself for simply surviving the day, especially on those tough days when you just want to hide under your bed.

8. Journal.

Many things go through my head during the day that I need to get out. This is where journaling comes in; we can express feelings in a safe place.

9. Calm yourself like a baby.

We need to be calm. It may take a moment. Just stepping back from the situation will not kill you. You do not deserve the anger you are feeling towards yourself. So do not take it out on you or anyone else.

"Alone time is when I distance myself from the world's voices so I can hear my own." Oprah

We have come to a point where we need to focus on us, not on anyone else. This is the time to take a step back to regroup. If we do not, we can get overwhelmed. More than likely, we have had these moments. Instead of stopping, we freak out and hurt someone we love.

These are questions I ask myself.

1. How are you feeling?

Well, I'm not feeling so hot right now. My anxiety is acting up; I think I might throw up because this article is not turning out well.

2. Why do you feel this way?

This is my first article, and I can't help that I'm failing it.

3. Is there proof of these thoughts?

No, I have none.

4. Now, remember something that makes you happy.

Well, my dog and writing.

5. Do you have something to look forward to?

Yes, I get to submit my first article.

6. So now look at these and decide if it is worth your self-doubt?

No, it was not.

Last but not least, from Zazzle.

I AM STRONG

Because I know my weakness

I AM BEAUTIFUL

Because I am aware of my flaws

I AM FEARLESS

Because I learned to recognize illusion from reality

I AM WISE.

Because I learn from my mistakes

I AM A LOVER

Because I have felt hate

I CAN LAUGH

Because I have known sadness

During this time of uncertainty, I want to remind you that self-love is very important. Knowing when you need to reach out to someone because you are struggling a little that is okay. We think that because we ask for help it means that we are weak but that can't be farther from the truth.

My time at this time has been terrible I must say. I've had a few close calls of going into the ER for a mental eval. Having these moments are what makes me realize how much human interaction is very important even if just by talking on the phone to someone.

These words, I hope to help you understand that you are enough and that you are a beautiful human being. YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Katlyn Hunter
1,000+ pageviews

What you need to know about Katlyn are a few things. She does suffer from ADHD and a couple other things that will probably be brought up later. She is a college student currently getting her associates in generals but she wants to continue to get a Master in writing. She loves the color emerald. Katlyn also has a SD(service dog) she has a job to help Katlyn throughout life with task. Right now Katlyn is a new handler so she is having to correct the bad behaviors that she let slide when she first got Lucy( not her real name). They are both learning together by taking lessons and doing stuff online to practice at home.

Maria-Anna Maridis
50k+ pageviews

Travel, reading and writing are amongst Maria-Anna’s top interests. Maria-Anna is currently a high-school junior aspiring to travel the world and be a writer.