As a teenager, you’ve definitely heard of girl math; but the real question isn’t what it is It’s the reason why we love girl math. In a world where actual math gives me hives, girl math feels like therapy with some sparkle. It's chaotic, creative, and honestly?

It helps me stay sane. Sure, it can be problematic (and financially stupid), but it’s also how we cope, justify, and survive the absurdity of modern life, one $5 coffee and emotional SHEIN haul at a time.

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Girl Math IRL: Real Habits We’ve Justified

Girl math is a fancy, glitter-covered justification for our money spending habits. The more delusional the better. The more delusional it is, the more it makes sense.

Anything you pay for in cash is considered free, free money. If you simply have cash in your wallet and you buy something, it is free. How does that work? Well, the number in your bank account isn’t decreasing once you pay for whatever you are buying so the only explanation is that it is free.

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Choosing to buy from Starbucks everyday isn’t making you lose money because of course you have rewards incurring, so you can get yourself a free drink in a couple weeks.

Anything that you buy in advance is also free. If you order something on Amazon or SHEIN or you pay for a concert ticket weeks before, by the time the concert or shipment comes in, you forget that you already paid for it. The faster you forget the better and more delulu you will seem.

Canceling a subscription is a pay raise.

A $200 dress for prom was an investment in confidence, and you can’t put a price on confidence.

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Free shipping is a must! If your online total is $15 but you can get free shipping at $30, you have to spend $15 more to get that free shipping instead of paying $3.99 for shipping. This is so you do not waste $3.99 on shipping which essentially disappears into thin air.

You must partake in every sale. If there is an item on sale for $50 when it was originally $90, buy it! This means that technically $40 was made and now you can go spend that money else where.

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When Girl Math Chooses to Gaslight Us

Some of these scenarios sound crazy but some of them sound like something we legitimately do on a daily basis in order to make ourselves feel better about money we are spending. The only problem with that is the fact that money can’t talk, understand or hear us. It can’t simply decide to get on board with whatever bizarre justification we come up with.

Girl math isn’t always our bestie. Sometimes… she lies. Boldly.

Girl math gaslights us into thinking we’re saving money when we’re literally just… redirecting it. Like, “I didn’t spend $100—I just used my birthday money.” Or, “It doesn’t count if I needed it for self-care.” Girl math can turn a full-blown shopping spree into “just the essentials.”

At its core, girl math is like that one friend who hypes you up no matter what, even if you’re clearly spiraling. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it plays us. And sometimes… it’s both.

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I have experienced a few girl math crisis’s. All because of a sale or my perception of a sale. I was at work and I really wanted a specific set of workout shirts.

I just had to have them, because they looked good on me and they were “on sale”. They actually weren’t that much on sale. I had completely forgot about how much was in my bank account when I went to purchase the shirts because I thought I didn’t have to worry about the price since it was on sale. Jokes on me, because I spent more money than I had in my account and I was so lucky that it didn’t decline. I didn’t learn my lesson and a couple weeks later I went to get lunch at a Chinese restaurant and I looked at all of the options of food combinations and I saw that it was cheaper to get a drink with a combo so that’s what I did and again, I forgot how much I had in my account and I proceeded to realize afterwards that I forgot to incorporate taxes into the grand total at the end. The drink was not “free” even though I thought it would be.

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Girl math can deceive you or it can create a spiral of unhealthy spending or shopping addiction which isn’t good for you mentally or financially, and this is not a good way to enter adult hood.

Sanity over Reality

Sometimes, girl math isn’t about being right—it’s about staying sane. Reality is stressful. Prices are rising, and life is exhausting, and we’re expected to save money, look good, stay productive, and never complain.

Girl math is an important part of teenaged girl life because it gives us a community of other people who want to buy the things important to them without feeling guilty or judged by the cost of the item. Girl math keeps us sane from overs who are judging just how many Starbucks drinks we get or just how many more shirts we are going to get. We need and excuse that will keep everyone quiet about our spending habits, while also staying cool and on trend.

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No one should be in your business about your finances besides your family maybe, but other than that you have to keep your guards up. Girl math allows you to use delusion to trick them into believing that you are in fact saving money or that you aren’t wasting money. Maybe you’ll even convince them to hop on the girl math train away from reality.

Before you Go

I would love to hear about other girl math habits or any suggestions on how to make those habits less delusional and more realistic and accurate. At the end of the day, it’s all about you.