A Letter to the Teen Struggling to Be Seen

Sound Familiar?

I know right now things are really difficult, you feel like no one sees you or understands you. You feel alone in a crowded room, with a group of friends. I totally get it; and this is normal.

It happens to the best of us, and it is not your fault. You aren't damaged, messed up or stupid or weird. Everyone is weird and everyone has quirks but that doesn't define you in any way. Some people don’t know how to show up for others, and that says more about them than it does about you.

When everyone else is invited to the group picture or the movies and you aren't or you are simply told you aren't good enough. It is important that you don't let it get to you. You aren't always going to like yourself, there is nothing wrong with you if you feel left out or unloved or that you don't deserve love or care since you aren't receiving any.

Deinfluencing You

I know sometimes the idea gets in our heads that our parents and family is obligated to love you so that love doesn't count and I used to be a victim of that belief too. I believe that any love you get and any love that is real in your life counts as love. It is important to look at the little things in life, like nature, sunsets and things you like to do as a whole.

Just because love feels limited right now, it doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of it. It just hasn't happened yet, that's all.

This is a letter to you, a letter to help you get through the hard times because you deserve to know that you are wanted, loved and cared for. Regardless of what you are thinking right now, there is someone on this planet who is incredibly happy and grateful that you exist. I am saying this planet because you may not feel like you have met this person yet, and that's okay. Your people will find you, you will find the people that make you incredibly happy and who make you feel seen.

You are alive and you are seen by people I can assure you that. The things you hate about yourself are the things someone loves about you. You are not your flaws, you are not the things that happen to you. You are a beautiful wonderful person and you matter so much.

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Making a Difference

Instead of stressing about not being noticed, try putting that energy into making others feel seen. A lot of the times people are too scared to act out and be nice to other people or to reach out to them because they themselves don't feel seen or wanted therefore they don't feel worthy of giving love to others. So I want you to make that step, go out and be a good person to at least one person; start small, one person, one moment at a time.

A simple smile or hello or a good night can literally change someones life. It can help them to feel seen and appreciated. Be the reason someone feels good about themselves.

I want you to know that you ARE in fact loved and I am hear to tell you that I care about you and I want you to be seen and loved and I know in times when you don't feel seen or you are misunderstood, or lonely you want to second guess every good thing you've ever done and that's hard. It's hard to be such a good person and to feel invisible the whole time. It is so hard. But trust me, when you push past this you will come out stronger.

Always Remember

It is so important to know that you won’t feel invisible forever, you will find the right people and in the mean time its up to you to enjoy life. Focus on the little things and do what you love. Find what you love.

You don't need to be accepted by everyone or anyone at all. Its okay to be weird, quirky or not "normal." You don't have to try and fit into a box to make other people happy. This is your life, this life is YOURS so go out and own it. The world hasn’t overlooked you; you’re still becoming someone it needs. You need to learn to love yourself before you can fully love other people and that is so clique but is so true. You won't fully love yourself ever but you can be at contentment with yourself.

You should be able to accept yourself for the real you, not the one that fakes who they are to get a boyfriend, girlfriend or friends. Who are you and who do you want to be? I want you to become that person, and don't care about what other people think because you don't need their negativity in your life. You are a catch and you deserve people who see that without you faking or forcing them to.

Disclaimer

Now, I think it is important for me to clarify that if someone is hurting you or bullying you in anyway shape or form it is so important for you to report it to a trusted adult. You matter and you deserve to get justice and respect from those who are doing wrong towards you.