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5 Friendship Red Flags You Need to Look Out For

Student Life

July 25, 2025

To me, one of the hardest things to navigate in life is friendships. Friendships can have many ups and downs, and as you make friendships, it's important that you're looking out for red flags! There have been many red flags that I didn't notice in the past, and they left me stuck in toxic friendships.

However, over time, I've come to recognize some behaviors as red flags and have learned to look out for them. So, here are 5 things that I believe are red flags and look out for, and you should as well!

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1. They Only Contact You When You Need Help And Ignore You Otherwise

Hey, can you explain this concept to me?

Sure! explains

Thanks!

No problem! Have you done anything fun lately?

Leaves on read

If someone only talks with you when they need something, they're not your friend. Asking for help is completely normal, but not willing to hang out with you beyond is definitely not good. If a friend is struggling in a subject and needs help, then that doesn't make it an unhealthy friendship, but if they don't talk with you otherwise or even ignore you when help is not needed, that's bad.

I've gone through this before, and it made me feel like I'm disposable and being taken advantage of. A friend would appreciate talking with you beyond when they simply need help. A friendship shouldn't be one sided and reliant only on when your friend needs assistance.

Take the Quiz: What kind of friend are you?

Are you the loyal ride-or-die, the chaos instigator, or the wise advice-giver? Take this quiz to find out what kind of friend you really are!

2. They Consistently Talk Badly About You Behind Your Back

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Hey, did you know name Is it struggling in science?

Name won a prize but barely even worked for it

If your friend is constantly saying mean things about you to others, that’s a huge red flag. There’s a difference between expressing concern for you and trash talking. Sharing private info is a huge red flag, too.

Out of the 5 red flags in this article, I feel like this is the worst one. A real friend wouldn’t do that. It’s even worse if they’re sharing information you told them in private with others- a real friend would never do that.

3. They Always Try To Make You Feel Worse

Oh no, you got a B- on that math test you studied so hard for? Your mom's going to be so mad!

When you’re feeling down or sad, a real friend would try and help you feel better. If they’re just rubbing whatever’s making you sad in your face and making it seem worse, that’s definitely a red flag. I think that if you feel like your friend keeps doing this, you should talk about it with them.

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4. They Always Try To One-Up You

Oh, you got an A- on that test? I could’ve gotten an A if I took that class.

That dress is cute. It looks like one that I have, but a bit worse.

Whenever someone tries to make me feel upset about something that I'm proud off and makes it about them, it honestly makes me really, really upset. Real friends would celebrate your achievements, not minimize them and steal the spotlight. They would give genuine compliments, not backhanded ones.

5. They Don't Let You Make New Friends (Or Are Overly Possessive Of You)

I saw you were talking with someone else today. I don’t think you should keep talking with them.

You’re going to the mall with her? You should ditch her and hang out with me instead!

It’s one thing if your friend expresses concern over someone you're hanging out with. However, it’s a whole different thing if they won’t let you make any new friends. A real friend, while looking out for you, wouldn’t be upset and love the fact that you’re making new friends - they’d be happy for you.

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Conclusion

So, what should you do if you notice any of these red flags? Don't immediately cut your friend off. Sometimes, your friend may not realize what they’re doing is hurting your friendship.

Instead, tell them how you feel (unless they make you feel scared- in that case, talk to a trusted adult first) and see how they react to it. Talking with them may help rekindle the friendship, or it may end up showing their true colors and breaking it. However, letting someone who you consider your friend know how you feel is important for maintaining real friendships.

Also, there are not the only red flags that you should be looking out for. These are just 5 that have stood out to me in my experiences. If there's anything going on in a friendship that is making you feel uncomfortable or taken advantage of, you should still reach out and talk aboutit with your friend. Hiding those feels will just make the friendship feel worse, and if you talk it out, maybe you and your friend could come to a resolution and your frisnship could become healthier again!

If those 5 points were red flags, then what do green flags look like? There are many different green flags in friendships, and some of these include:

  • Both of you enjoy being friends with one another
  • One of you tries to cheer the other up when they feel down
  • Both of you help each other out

And that's all for my article!What are some red flags you've noticed in your friendships? Do you have any cautionary tales related to friendship? Let us know in the comments down below!

Thank you so much for reading, and I wish you the best of luck navigating high school and navigating friendships.

Sasi Kondru
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Writer since Nov, 2024 · 12 published articles

Sasi is a freshman in college who loves to write! She mainly writes articles about student life and shopping for The Teen Magazine!

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