Not everyone grew up with siblings to share living space with--- and hence less experiences on mutual boundaries or simply the etiquettes when living with someone else in the same room. But dorm life is inevitable, especially if you go to boarding school or have to fulfill dorm requirements for college. A general misconception is that roommates, especially ones with very different living habits and routines, are hard to tackle with, usually ending up in fights or grudges.

Though I do not deny the chances of that happening (speaking from personal experience), there are also chances to either prevent or handle conflicts peacefully. Here are 10 tips to maintain harmony with your beloved (or not) roommate!

1. Be Nice!

At the end of the day, before everything else, a friendly, jolly, light-hearted approach with your roommate will help you solve at least 90% of all problems. If rooming with a stranger, a few “thank you so much”, “good morning”, “have a nice day", and “you're very welcome"s will do nothing but create a good first impression of you and establish a healthy relationship in the long run. You don't have to necessarily be friends, but having a positive and good connection with your roommate will at least ensure that you won't hate the person you live with in such physical intimacy.

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2. Clear Communication

Open and honest communication is key to having a good rooming experience. Be proactive about discussing expectations, boundaries, and any issues that arise. This will help avoid misunderstandings and keep the relationship positive.

It is also important to note the timeliness of your communication---that is, don't accumulate all of your concerns and discontent to one big explosion where you condemn your roommate of everything in furious flames. Instead, let it out one by one, in very small chats and talks that can happen sporadically by the study desk or as you guys go to bed. Remember: silence and miscommunication are usually the culprit for bad relationships.

3. Set Boundaries

Everyone has their own boundaries they would not wish for others to trespass. If you lived alone for a long times before, you may not know what your boundaries are. Take a good few weeks of self-observation to realize and list out your boundaries.

Establish personal space boundaries, especially in shared spaces. This includes respecting each other’s privacy, quiet time, and personal belongings. For instance, you may not want your roommate to touch your clothes, use your desk or sit on your bed. Say it out and make it clear. Putting it forward before they infuriate you out of obliviousness would be very useful.

4. Respect Each Other's Schedules

More important than setting the boundaries is respecting and complying to the boundaries. Be considerate of each other’s routines. If one of you has a different sleep schedule, work schedule, or study routine, try to accommodate those needs to avoid disrupting each other.

Sometimes accommodation and compliance might be hard, you may forget on accident at times. A good tip would be to keep a list on your notes recording the schedules of your roommate. Be as respectful as possible, and if things happen unintentionally, apologizing immediately would be key.

5. Chores and Cleaning

Discuss how you'll handle shared responsibilities like cleaning or and taking out the trash. Having a fair division of labor can prevent resentment from building up over time. Sometimes when they're bust or forget on accident, a friendly reminder can be helpful.

If you're a super nice person, maybe lend them a hand and take on more responsibilities. Although it may seem unnecessarily altruistic, I ensure you it will make them feel especially guilty and chances are, the next time when you forget to sweep the floor and take out the trash, chances are, your roommate might just reciprocate your kind move (this is highly situation-dependent).

6. Noise Level

Something you need to keep in mind: no one likes noise. No one would like to hear your high-pitched giggles when on call with your friend or your music playlist no matter how good of a voice or high-quality of a playlist you have. Respect each other's need for a relatively quiet space.

Whether it's playing music, having guests over, or talking on the phone, make sure to discuss noise expectations and stick to them. The best advice here would simply be to get earphones and headphones. This way, you can blast music and instagram reels as loud as you want and still disturb no one. During calls (especially private or more sensitive ones), just leave the room. No one is curious of your late-night conversations.

7. Guests and Visitors

Set guidelines on how often guests can come over and for how long. Some roommates prefer no overnight guests, while others are more flexible—it's important to know each other's preferences. Speaking from more personal experience, please don't be too loud with your guests in the room or occupy a common space (such as the closet or bathroom) for too long.

At times, it may be even more difficult to conduct effective conversations with your roommate if they are surrounded by friends. The most ultimate tip is to try to invite guests only in the absence of your roommate. No matter how inclusive or nice your roommate is, no one really likes having loud, talking strangers in the room when they're trying to study or sleep.

8. Respect for Shared Spaces

Whether it’s the kitchen, bathroom, or living room, be mindful of shared spaces. Clean up after yourself and keep common areas tidy to avoid conflicts. For instance, in the morning, if you wake up at the same time as your roommate, try not to occupy the changing room for too long.

Decisively pick and wear clothes or simply pick clothes from the night before so you won't waste too much time lingering too long. In a shared bathroom, maybe don't spend too much time choosing your playlist or scrolling through your phone before a shower. Unfortunately this isn't home, do thing efficiently to prevent hatred.

9. Conflict Resolution

It’s inevitable that conflicts will arise from time to time. When they do, address them calmly and respectfully. Try to resolve issues as they come up instead of letting them fester.

This is also for the sake of your mental health. Letting thoughts linger and build on too long will only slowly erode your sanity.

10. Flexibility and Compromise

Living with a roommate requires some level of give and take. Be flexible and willing to compromise when necessary. If both of you are adaptable, it will be easier to work through any challenges that come your way.

Sometimes it is important to note that people are hard to change and reluctant to change. Communication will not lead to a definite solution and it is impossible for someone to living 100% based on your needs and priorities. At the end of the day, some tolerance would be needed for a healthy dorm life and roommate relationship.