Got Rejected? Here's What to Do Now

Op-ed

If you're like most people, you have been rejected at least once in your entire lifetime, whether by your high school crush or from your dream college. You also know that rejection can be a painful experience. When you are a teenager, it's even more painful. You start to lose confidence, give up hope, and get depressed.

Rejection hurts, but how you deal with rejection is crucial as it will determine your future. Here are six ways you can overcome rejection like a strong-minded person:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

You may have heard from your parents that it's best to smile and always be positive. Now, forget about it! A Harvard psychologist challenges this way of handling emotion.

Instead of trying to suppress your negative emotions with toxic positivity, acknowledge them. Admit it when you feel embarrassed, sad, angry, etc. Learn to deal with and accept these uncomfortable emotions. Not only will suppressing these emotions prolong the pain, but they're likely going to add up over time, which might cause a terrible mental breakdown in the end.

2. Don't Dwell on Your Emotions

When you get filled with negative emotions, it's necessary to let them out to identify and acknowledge these emotions. However, if you continue to dwell on them for too long, You will be forcing yourself to live the same experience again and again. It will keep hurting; You will stay emotionally submerged until you start to change your approach.

After identifying and acknowledging your emotions, try to get past the rejection and stop dwelling on it. Stop arguing and talking about it. Don't get stuck in a negative outlook because this will certainly not inspire you to try again and keep going.

3. Live Your Life to the Fullest

You live this life only once. Realize that you have to push yourself to the limits throughout your life. Rejection is the proof that you are doing so. Getting rejected, as much as it hurts, will help you succeed next time (or the time after that).

If you've never gotten rejected, it doesn't mean you're flawless. It merely means you most likely don't tend to get out of your comfort zone to push yourself to the limits. When you try and fail, you'll know you're putting yourself out there.

4. Be Your Own Friend

Nobody can help you with dealing with negative emotions better than you can help yourself. When thinking negatively about yourself, treat yourself with compassion, much like a good friend would. Respond to negative thoughts with a kinder, more affirming message.

Look at things with a more objective point of view; Instead of saying “I got rejected because I'm ugly,” say “I got rejected because the person didn't want to love me.”

5. Don't Let Rejection Define You

Realize that just because you got rejected doesn't mean you lack the necessary skills to succeed. Got turned down by a college? It doesn't mean that you're incompetent; Got rejected by your love interest? It doesn't mean that you're unlovable.

These assessments are merely one person's interests or one-time incidents. Realize that these things can never truly define you as a person. Just because someone thinks something about you doesn't mean it's true.

Walt Disney, the all-known genius animator, was fired from Kansas City Star in 1919 because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas” — as his editor said.

JK Rowling was rejected several times by book publishers when she first sent out the “Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone” manuscript.

When Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard, he started a business with Paul Allen called Traf-O-Data, which failed miserably. Luckily, they tried again and made Microsoft happen.

6. Use Rejection to Your Advantage

Although rejection is a harsh reality check, it will help you follow your pursuits in a different, more effective way. Rejection can show you your flaws and help you towards fixing them. Rather than succumbing to the pain, turn it into an opportunity for self-growth.

Conclusion

Rejection is a necessary part of everyone's life. It shows that you are pushing yourself to the limits. Instead of looking at rejection as pure misery and suffering, try your best to look at it as an opportunity for self-improvement. Take risks in life, get rejected, and don't beat yourself up over it. Remember, the rejection was beneficial for you in the long run.

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Michael Kharadze

Michael Kharadze is an aspiring computer scientist from Tbilisi, Georgia. Unlike others, who had a passion for writing since childhood, he only recently started to fully express himself through it and be ardent about it.